If I Was Single, Would I Bang Everyone?

Serenity:  Yes, Athol, but I’m not talking about the woman’s perspective here.  I’m talking about the man’s.  Heck, being blunt…I’m talking about you  as someone I’ve grown to respect.  Okay, really over-stepping the bounds here, but do you feel this way?  If single again, would you sleep with a million women just because you could? Would it really be no more than body parts to you?

Athol:   It’s not over stepping bounds to ask.

If I lost Jennifer….

My Plan C:  Okay this is kind of just a fantasy one lol. I’d run a free service as a sperm donor for infertile couples. Doing it the old fashioned way as the bull. The ovulating wives would get dropped off by their husbands, I’d bang them silly and then they’d leave all knocked up. Then I’d sell DVD’s of the whole studfucking thing online. I’d have to have good lawyers though lol.

My Plan B:  I would run a soft harem approach. I’m not into a notch for a notches sake, but would escalate things very quickly if I was interested in someone and drop them to the bottom of the list if they weren’t terribly responsive.

No woman is just a body part to me. I love them, that’s why I’m so good with them. I mean if I liked having sex with them, why wouldn’t I keep doing it with them?

You also have to remember that I have a crazy high sex drive. I’m consciously and actively limiting myself to just Jennifer and that takes constant mental effort. I love her dearly and only my wife goggles for her makes it seem like that a deal worth making.

My Plan A:  I would visit [late virgin forum member I’ve seen photos of] and see if there was chemistry there. I believe she would be loyal and worth the risk.

Importantly though, I’m so committed to Jennifer, that even in my fantasy where I have sex with other women, she has to die first and I have an appropriate grieving period before I go all cockzilla. That’s true love right there.

Jennifer:  I think if either one of us dies the proposals will come thick and fast to the survivor.



  1. the soft harem is interesting. back in NO i had 4, maybe 5 girls i slept with. but it wasn’t just sex. we’d go to lunch, we’d hang out….just eventually the sex would happen. they all knew i had more than one women i was sleeping with. and they NEVER asked about them.

    interestingly enough: all single mom’s except for one.

    a SH is a great option for a single man IF he can pull it off.

  2. Ha – I’ve been thinking about what I’ll do if we can’t pull our marriage together or if my husband dies…

    I keep saying that I don’t think I’ll ever date again, because all this relationship crap is a lot more work than I was expecting (damn blue pill) … I actually think I would actively seek out a guy with a soft harem. Ideally, I’ll never have to know what I’d do… but…

  3. Plan A. Yeah, I think I can see the attraction there.

    Have you two gotten life insurance yet? Better up the amount and then remove all sharp objects from the house. (I kid! I kid!)

  4. RedPillNewb says:

    I’m going to make some good money as promoter of the cage match between you and sf64 for [late virgin].

  5. I kind of crack up at this to be honest. Everyone thinks they’d be a stud if they were single.

  6. Knowing what we know about the female psyche and attracting women? Yes, we most certainly would be.

    The question is, though, would it be worth going for it? Let’s face it, even knowing Game it’s a lot more effort for a single guy to get laid than a married one, unless you’ve already got a soft harem set up and can just call one of your harem members. But setting up that harem takes work and implies risk; of STI’s, of pregnancy, of someone getting more emotionally involved/attached than you’d like. And even with Game not every woman a guy meets is going to automatically go for him.

    Ultimately I’m not sure the effort would be worth the bother if I lost my wife. I’d probably take some time, at least a few months or so, to enjoy the peace, quiet and solitude of my own company before looking to bring more women into my life, even if on a limited basis. Now of course my answer may be different if I was a horndog like Athol ;)

  7. Proposals, Jennifer? More like propositions, I would say. At least at first. It is true that those who read (the bold print) between the lines can see quality spouse material in both of you, and (available) quality spouses (spice?) aren’t exactly thick on the ground in most social scenes.

  8. I’m not even sure what I’d do if I lost my guy. I think I most likely wouldn’t even try to find someone else… Not many red pill guys out there are going to be willing to take in 3 kids. Young kids at that, and I don’t think I’d want to put them through that either. Nah, I’d probably just be alone till I’m 50 and try again then.

  9. My buddy divorced several years ago, says he will never live (excluding his kid) with someone again. He does just fine pulling women and its no work. I think the biggest issue would be who’s in and who’s out of the SH.

  10. This just hurts to read. I’m glad you’re being honest and all, but men really suck if this how they think, and I know they do. The fact that you already have someone on the list–just in case, really sucks. Really sucks.

  11. Get over yourself, Sis. Athol hasn’t talked about having anyone else lined up in case he should lose Jennifer, only about having someone in mind. And, knowing what you might do to replace someone you might lose can help you appreciate who you have.

    Ah, Athol. To have wife goggles, to know you have wife goggles, and to know you come by them honestly – that your wife damn well earned those goggles. You are a fortunate man.

  12. Sis,

    “men really suck if this how they think, and I know they do.”

    Drop the self-righteousness. Echo Charles, not to mention we guys have seen so many women leave relationships and even marriages and have a new guy on their arm in a matter of weeks. It’s obvious a lot of women don’t leave the branch until they have a new branch to swing to.

    On the whole, women seem to be very disturbed by the idea that men are attracted to other women than them, even as women as a group consume massive amounts of fantasy male objectification like romance novel porn, FSoG, Magic Mike etc.

    If women understood what the male sex drive is really like – the sort of constant, low-level buzz of desire that draws itself to anybody remotely attractive in the area, and the effort it takes to keep your mind straight, in particular the sort of effort it takes for a man to choose monogamy and stick to it despite these urges and opportunities that come to a man who has his stuff together – they’d probably have a lot more respect and appreciation for the sacrifices men undertake in “commitment” and marriage.

  13. @Badger
    yup. amen Brother.

  14. @Charles – “To have wife goggles, to know you have wife goggles, and to know you come by them honestly – that your wife damn well earned those goggles. You are a fortunate man.”

    Well said, sir!

  15. I wonder sometimes whether the male need for sexual variety is so strong because it is “forbidden fruit” in a monogamous marriage. Tell anyone that they absolutely can’t have something and they want it all the more. When they are able to get it, they binge. We see this in college students with alcohol (and sex).

    The majority of single men, even with high sex drives, don’t seem to have an endless parade of women though. Guys who cheat, have open relationships, or engage in threesomes with their wives don’t tend to do so often either. When the lure of “forbidden” is taken away, most guys are pretty selective. They may take a long-term mistress or two for variety and kink. They may have a few dalliances or threesomes throughout the years. But, from what I’ve seen, it is the idea of leaving “variety” on the table for the man that is most important. He will partake of it less than even he might expect though.

    Given that, for guys with big sex drives, it might be beneficial to think about one of these “open” scenarios. Find a woman who is agreeable – or perhaps even is adventurous with you. Create ground rules that you can both agree with…and that keep your relationship primary. Given that women tend to care more about “emotional fidelity”, as long as you don’t “love” the other woman or invest in her, there are some wives who won’t care about the extra-curricular activities for just sex (or will be excited to join, or relieved she doesn’t have to service you all the time herself).

    It might be beneficial for some women to take note of these ideas too. For some, it could be better to join in, or let your man out once in a while where he will come back, than make him leave you permanently just for the variety. Both spouses lose in that scenario. The woman sticks to her guns and loses a good man. The man finds that his hunger for variety isn’t that great after all, it was just “forbidden fruit”. Sometimes it is better to let him taste it once in a while, get it out of his system, and keep the good marriage going. Just set some rules that you both are comfortable with first.

  16. Random Angeleno says:

    @Sis, best thing you can do for your marriage is to keep working on your husband’s wife goggles. That effort is under your control. The rest is up to him and that part likely drives you nuts.

  17. Emma the Emo says:

    In the last part of my comment, I attempted to explain why the “sacrifice” part of commitment appears so unpleasant. If commitment is such a sacrifice, why would a man do it? And what is the reason a woman (who is not completely selfish) would accept “love” that’s framed as “sacrifice”? So she can feel like a burden every day? No thanks… If it’s gotta be a sacrifice, it’s better be a sacrifice of something smaller to gain something bigger, not the opposite.

  18. A man who cannot be faithful is neither a good man, nor worth keeping.

  19. @Sis Plan A girl needs encouragement and the honest truth is if Jennifer was killed by a bear tomorrow, I really would visit her to see how we found each other in person. On paper she’s pretty good. Knowing what makes for a good relationship risk doesn’t make me evil, it makes me smart.

    If I had an actual backup woman in mind that I was keeping tabs on, I sure as hell wouldn’t be mentioning her on the blog. As it is, I don’t have one. I don’t like being torn emotionally between two people and I’m sure I can attract someone new when the time comes should it come to that.

    You would have figured that Plan C would be more offensive than getting remarried. Sheesh.

  20. @Dr Jeremy – I agree that the forbidden fruit is the tastiest because we’re wired that way, however the carnage of open marriages and swinging is hard to ignore.

  21. If I ever find myself single again, I am not sure what I’d do. I can say that I’ll never marry again, at least not under the prevailing Marriage 2.0 framework.

    Sis, you obviously don’t understand what men go through with sexual attraction. Badger had it right: I”ve seen too many women break up with a BF or a husband and have a new man in a very, very short amount of time. So get off the high horse, K?

  22. Athol, you crack me up! I think all men that are married and is stable relationship think occasionally about going outside the marriage for sex. It’s the way our minds are wired! I have on occasion thought about what I would do if I lost my wife, but nothing seriously. I suppose if it happened when I was say younger than 70 or so, I would NOT get married again. It’s a waste unless you are planning to have kids.

    We all say that we’d go hit the bars and get laid by a different hot chick every weekend with the knowledge we have now. I have talked to a few of my divorced friends and after they got over the divorce and got their head on straight that most of them do go on a kind of spree of sorts and get laid all over the place but ended up settling down after a while. It looks like it takes a lot of energy and time and when you get older there always seems to be less and less of it every year.

    Interesting you mention the soft harem. I have heard this from multiple guys that are dating. Women just don’t seem to mind if you are upfront with them and it is known that you are dating a variety of women and sex happens with multiple women (I was never that lucky, I was a serial dater).

    I could see living out my days (i’m 50 now) raising my boys and running a soft harem. That would be sweet!

  23. I’m glad you don’t have a back-up person in mind, my misunderstanding. Plan A is the worst one because it is emotional instead of sexual; to a woman, that’s the worst kind of involvement. Sex with other women is bad too, but not as bad as replacement. You don’t suck, you’re faithful and pretty intelligent as a husband.

  24. Plan A is not the worst, it is the best of the three as far as a compliment to Jennifer… because it shows that she’s done a good job of making him value and appreciate long-term committed relationships! My husband says if I died, he would never remarry and I always say he sure better! The sooner he wanted to remarry, the better job I would know I’d done.

  25. So, which of you had more private messages in the email or facebook after this post? :)

  26. You know, it’s really hard to think about but for those of us that have been lacking something in marriage have to admit we’ve thought about what kind of person we MIGHT settle down with should the unthinkable happen. I’ve got a list of high to low priority things (some of which my wife has), personality and physical wise that would be ideal in my eyes. The first five I wouldn’t even consider a LTR with if she didn’t possess (all personality things) and the last four (physical traits) that aren’t deal breakers but still important enough that I would let her know (i.e.; my physical kryptonites are, red hair, freckles, long legs and a nice ass…in that order). Put them all together in one package, give me a couple beers and not responding would be a real tough, tough challenge for me. Hopefully my wife starts responding to this stuff soon. It might make it a bit easier.

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