Mate Guarding For The Win (And Wetness)

Here’s the scenario, some dude makes a fairly direct move on your wife in front of you. Some responses from the forum…


sf64:  On Saturday night, 5 guys asked “I” for a dance.  Five times, she declined.  She never looked to me for guidance, my opinion, or for me to say anything.  She just politely turned them down.

One of them was not taking no for an answer.  I stood up, put my hand on his shoulder, looked him in the eye and said, “The lady said no.”  He looked at me, said, “I’m sorry” then turned and walked away.


RedPillNewb:  Mate-guarding can be seen as a strong, Captain-y thing to do.  It may be that your woman doesn’t actually want to dance with this loser (or go to Vegas with Queen Bee, or go to the GNO), but is too polite and people-pleasing to say no.  So she counts on you to say it for her and protect her from the social embarassment of rejecting someone.  That can make her feel protected and safe thanks to her manly man.


Fredless:  The three of us were out to dinner, along with my wife’s and my two sons.  Friend is talking about a sandwich shop that he loves that neither wife or I have heard of.  He looks at my wife and says, “I have to take you there for lunch.”

My wife nodded and went about her dinner, thinking absolutely nothing of it.  About 18 months ago, I would have done the same.

This time, as soon as he said it, I stared at him–looking right in his eyes.  It was clear that I was not pleased with that invitation.  He stammered over his words and then threw out, “Yea, we’ll all have to go.”

After dinner, I let wife know I wasn’t pleased with Friend’s sandwich shop invitation and she clearly had no idea what I meant.  I told her I trust her completely but no man is going to ask my wife out, particularly with me sitting right there.  I pointed out how he changed the invitation right after I stared at him.  She did remember Friend changing the invitation.  She didn’t even know I had given Friend ‘the look’ and asked surprised, “You did that?  Just stared at him?”  [note:  obvious gina tingles were now emanating from my wife].


Athena:  There was a new guy at work a while back, who was kind of feeling out all the women, probably to see if there was any interest. He hit on me out of sight of my husband, which I of course shot down, but I told him about it right away.

I guess “mate guarding” describes what my husband did in response at a work social function. He got very physical and made sure new guy saw him kissing, hugging me, etc. Complete with a couple of stare-downs. Honestly, it made me giggle at how AMOG he was trying to be.

But it worked, because the new kid wouldn’t even make eye contact with me for a month! And when he did have a legit reason to approach me with something work-related, he took it to my husband first!

Be still my heart…if he only knew how hot that was!


Maria:  Knowingly hitting on someone else’s wife/girlfriend is a challenge. Always. It has to be met appropriately by display of strength, not fear or indifference.


Kar:  We were out at a fancy event seated at a table with a business associate of my husbands. Man is married but his wife was not there (he frequently leaves her at home-what does that tell you?), anyway, Man says to my husband in front of entire table and loud enough for all to hear, Wow, (MY name) is looking so hot tonight, I may just have to hit on her later.”

This dude does cheat on his wife. My husband points his finger at Man and says, “NO! Don’t talk that way about my wife. Not cool.”

I actually really liked this. I felt like he was protecting what what his, A, and B, not allowing this man to disrespect me.

I’d like to add, (since this happened to me), that when my husband responded that way, the man put both his hands up, palms forward and back-peddeled fast, “Okay, I’m sorry, I meant no disrespect.” He looked like an ass, and my husband looked like the Alpha one. Yeah, it made me wet.

Was my husband afraid I might actually want to be hit on? Or even possibly cheat with this man. Um, not a chance. It was more about him not allowing this guy to talk about me like one of his many other use-them-for-sex targets. He demanded respect for me. HOT!


Pastorgeek:  Always mate guard. Always. Vary the intensity according to the situation, but always guard. From The Look to major force, just understand the consequences of anything beyond The Look.


Kort:  My husband has never mate guarded and I kinda resent him for it. I can think of times when I felt actively threatened by another man who was making a move on me in front of my husband. The first time was when a male friend of ours crawled into bed with me while I was sleeping, cause he and my husband wanted to see what I would do. I cuddled with him then woke up enough to tell him not to wear clothes to bed, realized it was not my husband and freaked out. My husband was standing in the doorway laughing like he was going to pee himself.

A more recent one was when we were out with friends for karaoke and there was a guy at the bar who wouldn’t take no for an answer. He tried to pull me out of my chair and my friends boyfriend decked him. My husband told me he didn’t bother because he knew I could handle myself. Yeah, had he got me standing up, I would have laid him out flat, but I shouldn’t have had to. One indication from my husband that I was off limits would have had the guy backing down.

So, yeah, mate-guarding can be very important.


Linanati: I’ve found that if a man is pursuing me, it’s much, much harder for me to put a stop to it than it is for my husband to do so. When it comes from me, the guy will often think he can change my mind if he persists. Every time my husband has gotten involved, the other guy has immediately backed off. Based on that, I think that, as long as it isn’t taken to irrational extremes, mate-guarding is an alpha behavior.


Athol:  Saved the most important two for last…


Danceny:  Men don’t often make “direct and open challenges” IME; they make slimy, plausibly deniable, tacit or “just being funny” challenges.  They observe the woman’s and man’s responses and then escalate to something a shade more overt, and repeat.

An important distinction bears reiterating because a lot of Red Pillers miss it.  An Alpha is aloof/indifferent to women’s emotions; he is NOT aloof to interloping males.  Just look at primates.

sf64:  IMHO, there really is only one way to ‘mate guard’ and that is to have a clearly higher sex rank.  If you are a 5 and your wife is an SR7, you have a big problem.  If an SR8 takes a hard run at her… she is going to at least think about it.  Now, if your wife is an SR7 and you are an SR8, she might be susceptible to an SR9 or SR10, but in reality, an SR10 is not likely going to be interested in an SR7.


Athol:  Danceny is 100% correct that most hitting on your wife in front of you is not going to be a direct request for her sexual attention. It’s going to be some kind of subtle teasing, put down, flirting, whoops-I-didn’t-mean-it-serious comment. It’s always serious. It’s just him testing the fences like the raptors in Jurassic Park. Put him on your mental list of shitheads to keep an eye on forever.

Likewise sf64 is correct that ultimately, the best defense is a good offense. Keep your Sex Rank up as high as you can. As long as you’re trumping her Sex Rank a little, she’s not going to be nearly as willing to risk ruining her good deal for a one time upgrade.

The real risk of your Sex Rank falling below your wife’s isn’t having to fend off guys hitting on her in front of you. It’s her hitting on them.


Oh and ladies. You can mate guard too. Don’t just sit there while some bitch starts putting her grubby little paws on your man. Defend what’s yours.


  1. I’m divorced, and let me tell you – I should have mate-guarded my ex-wife far, FAR more than I actually did. And I know my lack of mate-guarding contributed greatly to the failure of my marriage. My ex-wife even told me of one specific instance she wished I had mate-guarded when I did not.

  2. I think that was a big problem with the first woman I proposed to. I hadn’t been doing that and then she started testing me, first by saying “Maybe” to my proposal, than by flinging herself at another man when I traveled 2 hours to susprise her on her birthday with a group we danced with. (Way overboard, though. I took 30+ years to suspect they weren’t a thing.) Ten years later I was susprised to find she was still in love with me (I called to see if she had ever loved me after the first women show me love did.)

  3. What happens when the wife gets annoyed with the husband for guarding? Says that he made a mountain out of a molehill and there was nothing going on, or something similar. Assuming her husband did not actually go too far, I guess that means that either she’s interested in the attention she was receiving or . . . what? Is there another option that makes sense?

  4. greenlander says:

    Althol, I get the point you’re making here… but it would be great if you wrote a post on how to mate guard in an “Alpha” way and not in a “Beta” way. How do you avoid coming off as a weak, jealous idiot when you mate guard?

  5. Oh and ladies. You can mate guard too. Don’t just sit there while some bitch starts putting her grubby little paws on your man. Defend what’s yours.

    THANK YOU! I remember Jaz being all “You are so insecure…” When I mentioned the story of airport bitch. I’m not insecure I just know women and even if hubby is a great man that will never cheat (he actually didn’t noticed it God bless him) you never know a mate poacher by looking at her/his face. Anyone can look at a neglected partner and make the moves and that is never good, if they know you are on guard they are less likely to approach, IME.

  6. I can only think of one instance of my husband mate-guarding me, which didn’t really feel like ‘mate-guarding’ – at my husbands work Christmas party one his younger colleagues (half drunk) made some sort of ‘hit’ on me. I had just met him and was chit-chatting. He was being complimentary to me and asking if I had any ‘friends’ I could set him up with blablabla. He said something (I didn’t hear what) to the other male colleagues at the table and suddenly a few of them warned him ‘don’t do it…don’t do it’. He put his hand on my shoulder and slid it down my back to my waist. Men don’t touch me as a rule, so I was surprised but I just turned to my husband and ‘ignored’ it. But the whole dynamic and tention of the table immediately changed and the other colleagues seemed to increase the conversation to involve the ‘younger guy’. I tried to ask my husband (under my breath) what was going on but he got up and left the table! I felt abandoned and watched him walk around the room for a minute or so until he came back. I asked him why he left me alone and he said he’d gone to find a woman from work the ‘guy’ had shown interest in, so she could take his attention, but he couldn’t find her. I’m not aware of anything that was said but ‘younger guy’ was well behaved toward me for the rest of the night – and has been ever since. It was very strange.

  7. Can you talk more about female mate- guarding?

  8. That comment by Kort made my jaw drop. The ultimate problem isn’t that her husband doesn’t mate guard; it’s that he doesn’t love her. Leaving your spouse in potential danger, or actively leaving them feeling unsafe, is quite possibly the worst thing you can do to them.

  9. What Liz said, in spades!

  10. I’ve mate guarded a few times physically. It wasn’t in a “hitting on her” situation though. Once in a bar when were were still dating, probably 14 years ago. A friend of an old boyfriend was talking to her and starting to get loud. She just played it off. Then he said “he fucked you bitch (speaking about his friend).” Right there in front of me, I was a bit shocked. I shoved him off the back of his chair and onto the floor and pounced. It got broken up pretty quickly and I really didn’t want to hurt the guy but I couldn’t stand for that. Punk.

    Another time my older brother called my wife a bitch and I told him, and he’s bigger and more athletic than me, always was, I said “bro, you may still be able to kick my ass, but it you talk to me wife like that ever again, we are going to find out.” Glad he got the message before it came to blows.

  11. First – your book + blog + the forums is a marriage saver for me. I’m early in the process, but the initial successes are better than I imagined from running the entire MAP, and I have so far yet to go! Dude – thank you is a massive understatement.

    Mate – guarding. What if ur a little dude? I’ve avoided confrontation all my life but have recently been upping the alpha at work and at home, focusing on fitness and improving strength etc, but I don’t know how to fight. No brothers + beta dad. I was on wrestling and had my ass handed to me in HS for not being aggressive. I’m 5’6″ (and currently fat but working on it). Any thoughts? Bring a bat and smash some skulls?
    Question here.

  12. I wqnt details on how to mate guard without looking like a jealous bitch in front of everyone. Both for when some woman is hitting on my man, and what to do to politely stop my man from crossing the line between harmless ribbing and outright negging.


  13. Also, don’t “blame” your spouse if they weren’t doing anything to try to attract what happened. This seems to tend to come more form women-folk, but it does go both ways.

  14. @Mark. I have the same issue. There have been several occasions when I mate guarded and she gets embarrassed or annoyed. She says it was no big deal or I made a mountain out of a mole hill. She is a people pleaser and doesnt like conflict. I think this might have something to do with it. But we another issue is we disagree what is over the line and what isnt. The difference in boundaries has caused a lot of problems in the past.

  15. I just had to jump in here, this is something I dealt with a lot (much more as we were younger) but still deal with.

    We both married very young and were very attractive. No one respected that we were married and we were both hit on constantly. My Husband was offered to cheat on me constantly and I was offered a “better Husband” or to cheat all the time. This happened when we were apart and together.

    If I was by myself (and I tried to never be in a situation where I was alone with a man PERIOD), when approached I did not joke back. If it was a friend feeling me out I did not smile nor engage them at all. I changed the subject. If it happened one more time I loudly told them I was not interested and that I would be telling my Husband. When that did not work, particularly with one guy who kept showing up at my home when he knew my Husband was not there and began asking me for hugs (I don’t do that with anyone but family or close friends and it is quick) I told him that if he tried to hug me I would shoot him. He left and didn’t come back, I made sure he knew I meant it.

    My Husband usually ignored girls, then stared them down. Then openly mocked them if they didn’t stop.

    When together, it is rare that someone is idiot enough to approach me. My Husband is a large and physically intimidating man who can more then handle himself .

    Men will stare and try to catch my eye. I purposely ignore them or give them a disgusted look. If they don’t stop, I start getting very cozy with my Husband. I also let him know if I have to get up and use the restroom or leave and someone is making me uncomfortable because I have been followed and accosted before. But my Husband has always escorted me to the rest room since we were dating and waited outside for me, so it cuts it off.

    The few times I was hit on in front of him was either a direct challenge from someone of his caliber, and I shut it down before they killed each other. Or, they pulled the “just kidding” thing and I felt it had to be shut down right away and insulted them or instantly did something sexual with my Husband (like whispering in his ear and kissing him, etc). Two work colleges attempted to compliment me way too much and say that if they could just get me away from my Husband they could have me to themselves. That was tricky, I had to insult just the right amount. It is an art.

    I have always felt it was my job to guard the trust my Husband has in me. I made sure that he saw me shut this stuff down in front of him since we started dating. He only had to become physical twice, and it was men who were attempting to strong arm me.

    Now, on the other hand, there are several ways I have to mate guard and there is a difference between now and then.

    When we were younger, before we were married, I admit I didn’t do much. I wanted HIM to handle it. If he didn’t handle it, I would never trust him. I only got involved if the women put her hands on him. I then told her to her face if she didn’t get her hands off of him I would punch her in the face and I looked like I meant it. They do this on purpose to start a physical fight. I wouldn’t suggest that much anymore.

    We guard now by having standards for behavior that are strictly enforced. We don’t dance with other people of the opposite sex unless they are family. And I can’t think of anyone I really would do that with. We both get asked all the time, this is a test. We both say no. I have had women attempt to force my Husband to dance with them (usually old bags) and when he tells them no they come and tell me he wants to dance with them but I won’t let them and then attempt to shame me or say “Don’t worry, I won’t try to steal him.” I say, NO and you couldn’t! And that is it.

    If someone does not respect the way we have our relationship, we don’t have dealings with them.

    We don’t allow the “kidding” comments period. Not from family, not from friends. We consider those shit test to see if there is a hole. We don’t have “friends” of the opposite sex. We have people we are friends with together. I don’t go on a “date” or anything else with another man and my Husband doesn’t either. I don’t let other men in my home unless they are with their wife or the door is open wide and I will alert my Husband and let them know I am doing that. My Husband is not alone with another women (and there are always ways they women try to get him…I need you to come fix this for me, I am injured, I need help with this or that…but I can only do it when your wife can’t come..YEAH OK). If this comes up, I immediately take over the situation and tell her WE will be over at such and such a time. If she tries to talk to him again, he says “Talk to my wife.”

    If they don’t stop, they don’t have a friendship. People like that are poison and will make up stuff to break you up.

    Anyone who has any dealings with us know this and I could give three shits what they think about it. Anyone who has an issue with it does so because they do not have honorable intentions.

    Any women whose Husband does not mate guard and does not respond to her when she is in distress, especially the poor women whose Husband had another man get into bed with her, are in a a serious situation that needs to be addressed. This is not normal. Unfortunately , you are either married to a complete and utter wimp who is terrified of conflict or someone who doesn’t love you.

    I am sorry. Prayer helps!

  16. Just sayin says:

    Long ago, I was seeing a women and growing bored with her, so we were both looking – somewhat covertly. A guy, who was married, tried to put the moves on her and I had noticed that his wife was HOT. So I just pointed it out to his wife before intervening. Later, I arranged for them to meet as part of a ‘group’ invitation sent to just the two of them. I called his wife to tell her of my “suspicions” that they were seeing each other, and we watched from across the street as they met for their “meeting”. By the end of that day, I had her doing things she never did with him, and kicked the woman I was seeing to the curb that evening, to enjoy the little wife to the fullest.

    My point is that if the guy is looking, the woman is probably bored too – so the wife (if she’s HOT to you) can be an enjoyable, and easy, diversion if you enjoy that sort of thing.

    Be careful the path you walk, women can be *very* vindictive when you give them reason to be – even if it’s just a suspicion. And you can use that to your advantage – if you have a mind to. All I had to say was “so-and-so” always wanted to try that, and the little wife was up for it. I still have to smile, at the things we did… }8D

    While the GF I kicked to the curb was nothing to write home about, the little wife was a wild one once she had a reason to be. These days I wouldn’t waste my time, but at the time, I enjoyed married women. But I never targeted a guy that wasn’t asking for it… I have some scruples – just not many….

  17. I agree with this with the exception of the statement

    “Now, if your wife is an SR7 and you are an SR8, she might be susceptible to an SR9 or SR10, but in reality, an SR10 is not likely going to be interested in an SR7.”

    That is not true according to basic evo psych. A male SR10 wont want a relationship with a lower female SR, but he will most certainly be tempted to sex her up. If you think the SR10 rock stars don’t get blown night after night by starstruck women on the road that are in the SR5-8 range then your naive.

  18. Hitting on a female in front of her husband is actually a good strategy, if he does nothing, its implied consent. If she didn’t consider it before she’ll consider it when he fails to mate guard.

  19. For a male, this is a thought process that you need to go through if you haven’t already – what are you willing to do to protect your wife? If the answer isn’t along the lines of “Whatever is needful, including killing if necessary” you either have a UN-acceptable wife, or you have a personal problem.

    The willingness to kill if necessary doesn’t make you an ogre, but it is something you need to settle in your own mind. The zen-like aspect of this is that once it is settled in your mind, then your demeanor will be aligned with a purposeful choice that has already been made, and in most environments, a look alone is sufficient to send the boy away. In some cases, such as a social event, a few words firmly spoken in a serious and a level tone (e.g. “Go Away” or “Knock it off” ) followed by silence and a stare will get the job done.

    For those guys who have undergone training and then stress testing for “The Use of Deadly Force”, this will seem blindingly obvious. You are going to escalate based on the perceived threat, but the preference is to avoid combat if possible. In our currently litigious society that is doubly true.

    So, if necessary, you choose to calmly move between your wife and the offensive male. Doesn’t matter if you are 6 foot or 5’6″, fill that space, and you have made a clear statement that requires no words. Maintain eye contact, and wait. 95% of the time they will back down.

    To paraphrase an old warrior saying, “Never draw the sword in haste, but having drawn the sword, never sheath the sword without accomplishing it’s purpose.”

    For the ladies out there (esp. the under 40 crowd), if your man has never told you privately that he would kill if necessary to protect you, do both of yourselves a favor and have him read this so he can do the homework. He may be so mal-educated by the culture as to believe that the solution to every problem is to talk about feelings and be respectful of other people’s poor behavior.

    As to mate guarding, my Lovely Bride has interjected herself into female conversations a few times by sliding under my arm and smiling at the female[s], or coming and leaning up against me while facing outward – one of my favorites. Again, understated, classy, but makes a clear statement. Not to mention it suddenly gets my attention, and the motor immediately starts idling. Makes me wonder what that looks like on my face.

    N.B. For guys, if you are in an environment where there is drinking is going on, an extra measure of caution in your escalation, as dulled senses lead to poor impulse control.

  20. Oh and ladies. You can mate guard too. Don’t just sit there while some bitch starts putting her grubby little paws on your man. Defend what’s yours.

    This is kind of a thorny issue with me and Mrs. Ironwood — not because we disagree about it, but because I get hit on regularly and so does she, and in our situations it’s always tricky. She’s dealing with work colleagues in a sales/business development/networking sort of industry, filled with plenty of “drunk and on the road don’t count” dudes. When they hit on her in front of me because they don’t know me (it’s happened), I usually lean in, as if I’m going to whisper something, and when he likewise leans in I say in a very low very calm sort of voice, “Dude, she’s married to a psychotic redneck gun-owner, touch that and you’ll lose the hand” without explaining who I am. That usually takes care of things — but Mrs. Ironwood is more than capable of taking care of herself.

    And so am I. Recently (last weekend, actually) we were at a work-oriented social function when I got hit on by one of her colleagues. Not only in front of her, but in front of several other people. It was a pure and catty ploy to advance her position in the Matrix at my wife’s suspense. The woman is a few points higher than Mrs. Ironwood, and she thought that would be enough to command my attention. While I deflected her comment politely and with humor that had the whole table cracking up, Mrs. I was less kind. At a moment later in the evening, out of sight of others, she addressed the matter in no uncertain terms. And I made a point of upping the alpha displays and possessive kino, PDAs, etc., too. That got me plenty more attention, but the important issue was settled: the Ironwoods are stubbornly monogamous, and no attempt at seduction is going to be successful without the use of drugs.

    (And, of course, Mrs. I shagged me rotten afterward. Go, preselection!)

  21. I like the sidle up cutely approach. But what if I’m already next to him? What do i say??

  22. I like the sidle up cutely approach. But what if I’m already next to him? What do i say??

    “Back off, you horny bitch!” But say it in an amused, rolling-your-eyes, laughing-at-her manner. You want to set her on the defensive, but in a manner that causes her to focus on denying that she’s horny. That way she’s not able to play the “just kidding, don’t be so sensitive” card.

  23. This reminded me of y’all:

  24. @Christy – think that depends on the setting; a work/social event would preclude the kind of treatment that a random wench gets.

    Since LB is NOT the Jerry Springer type, her response was if she is already there, she expects me to step in and excuse ourselves. Wisdom there – in a social setting I try to dis-engage rather than ‘face’ someone.

  25. @hammer : absolutely. Agree on all counts. So, for me, it’s a matter of teaching him not to neg, flirt, etc, when I’m right there, as it’s disrespectful to me as his Wife(TM). No?

  26. I’m also open to the possibility that I’m over-thinking it, but in detailed convos w Athol, I usually get, “if it sounds like a duck…”

  27. RedPillNewb says:

    Oh and ladies. You can mate guard too. Don’t just sit there while some bitch starts putting her grubby little paws on your man. Defend what’s yours.

    Oooohh, amping up preselection so the other girls are even more interested in me. Yes, do this, please. :)

  28. @Christy – It would be useful to have that discussion, as expressing expectations and walking through responses are helpful if one[both] of you are not the snappy comeback type of people. For added effect, I would promise some immediate gratification for re-enforcing your Higher Value. Some quick Naughty in the hall-bath, fondling outside in the shadows, are the kinds of thing that lead to memories with high-playback value.

    After thinking about, I’d actually prefer that my Lovely Bride reach up and nuzzle the at the edge of my jaw, whisper in my ear, THEN I’ll smile and excuse ourselves for a few minutes to go somewhere more private. There are certain things that cause me to be extremely distracted.

  29. Thanks, Hammer! That really helps.

    And lmao, RedPillNewb… she really needs to see your HV.

  30. Relevance to this thread: he’s too busy pursuing his own IOIs to bother mate-guarding me. Eapecially when we’re not arm-in-arm. He knows the power his marital status affords him in pulling attention, and talks me up as a way to hide the fact that he’s enjoying twisting up other women. So, they get wet and I just get jealous and dry up. Pair tgat with turning down attention from other men, and I’m aching by theendof thenight.

  31. Athol this is freaking awesome. Great post.

  32. Oh, Hamster, how much do I hate you? He’s just gaming me to see if I’ll mate guard. He was so funny, thay goofy grin when he said my jealousy is so cute. Lizard brain stil engaged. Doh!

  33. Mate – guarding. What if ur a little dude? I’ve avoided confrontation all my life but

    I don’t know how to fight. No brothers + beta dad.

    I was on wrestling and had my ass handed to me in HS for not being aggressive.
    Question here.

    Answer here:
    Learn how to fight.

    Boxing is great, martial arts are great. Wrestling IS a matial art. As a cop, I have used wrestling far more than any of the other martial arts I know.

    The confidence in your ability shows-you send out a different vibe that people pick up on. I could go on for hours about this, but there are so many good books out there to teach you what you need to learn. Rory Miller and Marc “Animal” McYoung have some EXCELLENT books to accompany your physical training with mental mindset.

    Us meateaters can recognize each other by the way we look and carry ourselves. You need to become a meateater too.

    If you join the meateater club, your size will be irrelevant. Nobody wants to mess with a meateater, regardless of their size, because the potential pain/injury risk is too high.

  34. “I like the sidle up cutely approach. But what if I’m already next to him? What do i say??”

    Become a sex toy reseller. That way you can say “you poor horny thing, it must be terrible to have to chase guys, instead of the other way around”. And then you can pull out a catalog and chase her around the room trying to sell her a vibrator. :-)

  35. “If you join the meateater club, your size will be irrelevant. Nobody wants to mess with a meateater, regardless of their size, because the potential pain/injury risk is too high.”

    I agree with what Posse said. And if you are in a larger city, there may be an accredited Brazilian jiu-jitsu (BJJ) school that you could visit.

    Nobody wants to risk trading serious injury for serious injury for no good reason, even with a smaller and weaker meateater.

    However, there is one huge caveat here. You have to be a real meateater in your mind, and fully committed to following through.

    If you act like an equivalent of the woman who sobs and then peeks between her fingers to see if she is having an effect, you will get hurt.

  36. And I completely agree with Reader’s 11:49 am post as well.

    The meateater club runs on big boy rules, and you are either in or out. There is no halfway.

  37. Looking at Rory Miller’s website. Not me yet. I’ve got a lot of work to do.

  38. RedPillNewb says:

    I know Rory Miller personally. Great guy. I HIGHLY recommend you get to his “Conflict Communications” seminar if at all possible. Fly to one if you have to. It is an excellent resource for people looking for the proper frame to avoid conflict without giving up their Alpha.

  39. Anonymous says:

    For you Skynrd fans out there, make th other dude say “Gimme three steps and you’ll never see me no more, for sure!” In our age on no values, it’s your worth in a man and the other guy’s greater attractiveness is you don’t. Nothing personal, he just made her ‘gina tingle better than you did.

  40. I believe a man who doesn’t mate guard is not good husband material. He either doesn’t appreciate
    his wife, takes her for granted or thinks he’s “so special” she’d never leave. I divorced my Ex. However, there is such a thing as being too jealous which is not mate guarding – it is insecurity. That’s when a husband can’t trust his wife because he is to insecure to value himself and so believes she shouldn’t either. They come from two different places. One is from a man challenging the husband and flirting w/the wife and the other weakness – which is not attractive to either sex. Healthy Alpha males DO take a woman’s feelings into consideration if he really wants to lead the relationship. An unhealthy Alpha won’t care about a woman’s feelings and is a Narcissist. He wants his way all the time. So I think men to tell males to not care about a woman’s feelings and be indifferent to her, makes them Alpha’s is really doing many relationships a great deal of harm. Really, who wants to be with that guy over any length of time. And if a woman does – she’s very unhealthy and doesn’t value herself which means —-he’s actually married a lower female. And again, he’s actually a very insecure male POSING as an alpha.


  1. […] 6. Athol Kay provides some readers’ comments about mate-guarding: […]

  2. […] approach, by the way. You are wrong, MMSL does not advocate indifference in these situations. Mate Guarding For The Win (And Wetness) | Married Man Sex Life Mate Guarding / Jealousy: Alpha, Beta, A Necessary Evil, or What? – Married Man Sex Life […]

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