Any dufus can give a woman flowers. You buy a bunch, attach some lame card and hand them over. She makes the right little noises, and immediately plops them in a vase and waters them. A week later, the flowers are dead, and whatever points you earned by giving them, are wiped off the slate as well.
One work around for this is to buy high quality silk flowers that will last forever, but for some reason silk flowers seem not quite right for romantic giftage. House warming present yes, I-love-you no. So perhaps a sneaky workaround is to give actual flowers, with one silk flower mixed in there.
Or you can give her a potted plant/flowers of some description. This will nearly always fail in that giving someone a plant means you’re actually handing them something they will eventually kill unless they have a green thumb already. If they have a green thumb, they have more than enough plants anyway and don’t need you to hand them something they recognize as being half dead as a gift.
I’ve got a sneaky good solution that has all the good points of being a real flower, long lasting and easily maintained by someone with zero skill with plants.
Jennifer had her birthday a month ago and I got her a Just Add Ice Orchid. So an actual orchid, comes-in-a-pot plant and to feed it, you add three pieces of ice once a week. That’s it.
I gave it to her and she had this slight “dammit now I’m gonna kill a plant” face happening, but it was fun watching her expression change from “ugh”… to confusion… three pieces of ice?… to excitement… holy crap I can do this! to awe… oh it’s so pretty… to being impressed… where did you even find that?
Ding ding ding, we have a winner!
Anyway, costs about the same as a moderate sized bouquet of flowers, has lasted for over a month so far as opposed to being hurled in the trash three weeks ago. Still looks like a plant that is alive to my untrained eyes. Jennifer is interested enough to be going online and wanting to learn more about the orchids and caring for them.
Anyway, still as heck worked for me. Gotta find a new wrinkle on the standard giftage if you go that route.
Jennifer: Yep, that’s me, zero skills with plants. No, really. But I love my orchid…somewhat exotic, ooooh pretty flowers, freaking easy to take care of, and reminds me of him every time I look at it. We have a winner!
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