Beta Orbiting Wives: Laid, Maid and Trayed

It’s funny seeing the exact parallels with some wives as with the stock standard Betaized husband. She does A, B and C for him, and also scampers back to do X, Y and Z… but he pays her no attention. She complains about the relationship and asks for things, but only gets a little spike of attention, before he lapses back into the usual routine of her not mattering.

The problem is pretty simple really. When the wife offers sex on tap, cleans the house like hired help and waits on him hand and foot with meals and snacks, a.k.a. “Laid, maid and trayed”, he thinks it’s all because she thinks he’s Teh Awesome just as he is. Plus he gets everything he wants… so there’s no reason for him to change at all.

So she ultimately has to start going on strike with at least some of the Beta goodies to get his attention.

We are all, always training each other as to how we should be treated, so it’s not some bizarre experiment the wives are doing to stop pampering their husband. They are trying to send a fair warning message in a way that he understands and will respond to.

Half the problem with the wives in the relationship though is that they are far too Beta themselves. The Laid, Maid and Tray-ed wife is typically lacking in female Alpha. She’s not acting like she’s remotely hot, just constantly orbiting her husband like a Nice Girl, waiting on his every whim. She’ll still be here tomorrow and the next day, she’ll never stray, never show the slightest disloyalty for even a minute. Never not bow and smile.

Seriously…. ladies… don’t be like this…

A little lipstick and a demand or two will do far more to engage his interest in her than yet one more load of laundry will.

As you cut back on the Beta a little, you’re meant to be heading to the gym and getting in shape. Dress up better. Swing your hips a little as you walk. You know, run your own MAP. It’s not that hard.

Whoever is the hottest one in the relationship controls the relationship. So if you’re groveling like a 5 before a 7, you gotta find your way to being an 8.

And yes I know you all want your hair wound in his fingers as he does you doggy-style and have him lead the relationship so you can be a First Officer and all that. That comes later when he’s an 8.1 Captain to your 8.0 First Officer. Right now though you got to get your girl stuff together.

Really though. Same plan for both men and women.


  1. Cut back on the girl beta or just up the girl alpha? I’m struggling with this a little bit – I thought the advice was to keep up the same level of beta while also upping the alpha (for the MAP) – but I suppose it makes sense to say that I have to make him feel a little bit uncomfortable – I’m stopping the “trayed” part first, because its the easiest. I don’t care what he wants to eat and I’m not fetching him snacks or drinks. If its my night to cook, I’m cooking what I damn well feel like. And if he needs a drink that bad, he better be OK with water… and a trip to the hospital, because clearly he has broken legs if he can’t walk over and get it himself!

    I can see my FAP starting to work … cutting out some of his wifely comforts is probably going to speed the process up. Hopefully. At the very least … it’ll make life easier on me. Yay for being back down to just two kids?

  2. sex as a relationship weapon?

    say it aint so

  3. Yes, keep these coming. I need to keep hearing this message.

  4. LOL this so describes me today at the visible level – and at the emotional level back in the bad old days.

  5. @AnonJohn: When ladies try everything else in the world to get them to listen, and nothing else works, then what?

  6. This is basically the female equivalent to dread game. You shouldn’t use it right away, but if all else fails, push the big red button.

  7. It’s not sex as a relationship weapon.

    Marriage is an exchange. Men sell husband, women sell wife. It’s meant to be a fair exchange of value. But if he is selling crappy husband, she shouldn’t keep selling super deluxe wife.

    I’m sure there’s no issue with the idea that a husband coming home to a SAHM acting like a wannabe trophy wife chewing through the credit cards, should “use money as a weapon” and get control of the cash flow.

  8. I thought this was married MAN sex life. Is there no where for just MEN to go? Is this red pill approach just going to be used against us now? What is the goal here? Are we in a battle? I thought the ideals that were espoused here, were for men to learn to be the men that their women want them to be, which should equal a happy wife. If you are a wife and you find yourself caring for your husband and putting all your energy towards him and your family then I think that is a good thing. This article stinks of feminism! Yuck! This is what I come here to get away from. I am speaking for myself when I say that there is nothing sexy or appealing about an alpha woman in a relationship. If you want more attention from your husband, acting like a man is not going to work. If you want him to leave, then go ahead, be alpha ladies. This blog is going to lose its effectiveness if women are here using the SAME tools that have been designed by men. Leave the alpha to the dudes ladies. Find something feminine, or else your husband will.

    I’ve been writing Girl Game stuff for the last 18 months.

  9. Not gonna be popular in these here parts, Athol. You’re a brave man. Kind of like getting a tiger by the tail…and then thumping him on the nose to see if you have his attention. lol

  10. Ladies, the “maid” and “trayed” portions matter very little. We care about the “laid” portion. If you didn’t do ANY girl beta, most men wouldn’t even notice until they ran out of clean clothes, or got hungry. Their solution would be to throw a load of all different colors and whites through the machines or nuke a hot pocket. Its when the LAID portion goes away that men notice the most.

  11. I’m a beta orbitor too. I feel challenged to show disloyalty. I don’t like to. But if I don’t do it I feel taken for granted. Another concern of mine is that I may be missing his cues that show he is mentally stimulated by my behaviour. He appears so cool and uneffected about everything it’s hard to judge if it’s having an effect. How does a high-Alpha man show this? I have noticed he nearly always now asks me where I went shopping, he always asks me ‘how was the gym?’. I’m not sure if this is simply for the sake of conversation or if he’s fishing for information on anything that happened. I assume the first.
    A question – how does a ‘hot woman’ behave?

  12. X1134x, thank you for spelling that out so clearly! I was so worried about the wrong stuff that the girl game suffered, and I kinda lost my mind because I could feel myself falling behind and losing his attention.

    Thank you!

    Girl4, we both need to let the house slide. Really. Paint those nails red instead!

  13. “And yes I know you all want your hair wound in his fingers as he does you doggy-style and have him lead the relationship so you can be a First Officer and all that.”

    Jeezus this made me laugh out loud. You just can’t imagine how long it’s taken me to teach hubs to: ‘just fscking grab my hair when you do me doggy’. Gawd. I think he just couldn’t imagine a woman enjoying that.

    Why can’t men just act like men? Is it because all the beef is full of estrogenic drug residues? Like WTF.

    When I was briefly single and in the dating market, I sought out the most unsuitable partners; recent immigrants from war torn areas of the middle east….those fsckers know how to act like men. I’m now married to someone who is from my cultural background but for JFC sakes, trying to get him to stop acting like a PW nice guy has been such a fscking battle. Going on 8 years now, last 3 married. Yet he has this stupid ridiculous jealousy. I had to give up belly dancing with my troupe because he couldn’t handle it. Typical insecure ‘nice guy’ I suppose. I know you can’t change people, but for gods sakes, it’s such a battle sometimes it hardly seems worth it. We recently split up but after two weeks couldn’t handle being apart. He got so pissed off because I called him a name during an argument and just up and left. Like do alpha men really care if they get called a name? I don’t give a rat’s ass if someone calls me names when we’re fighting. He’s so sensitive about it like a friggen little girl. It really drives me crazy. Sorry for the rant.

  14. Sounds like he did the Alpha thing to me! He got tired of listening to your bullshit and just got up and left! Would you have rather he stood up punched you in the face and said I”ve had enough? That enough Alpha for you? Sounds to me like YOU want to run the show.

  15. Kickboxer Girl says:

    I’m with Craig on this one….he walked away from you instead of sulking Koutoula – if that isn’t Alpha for you, I don’t know what is, a violent caveman? It doesn’t sound like you want a Captain yet. When my husband doesn’t put up with my shit, I get wet!

    If you’ve tried everything for his attention, for him to isolate and desire you either physically or mentally (or both in my case) and if you’re very close to cheating or leaving (which I was last year), here’s my little message to you.

    I’ve worked out what works after using much of Athols advice (and mimicking Jennifer). If you want your man to act like Athol, then act like Jennifer. Read all his the articles, buy his books and mimick her and then some. Pay close attention to her comments at the end of his articles, she is always feminine but makes a note of teasing him a little.

    Instead of acting Alpha by behaving like a man, be female alpha by being ultra feminine. What that looks like is being as sexy as you can! Think Marrilyn Monroe. That doesn’t mean just being hygienic and presentable. What that means is to looks so desirable (especially your body). Work that Body like some women is moving in on your man.

    Always have eye makeup on and use lipstick with gloss (that same lipstick can be used on your cheeks if you’re over 30 and you’ve noticed that youthful flushed look has disappeared). Emphasize your good curves (boobs and bums) so that you look like what society deems desirable. However, if you know your husband likes small boobs then obviously feel free to use duct tape those breasts to keep them flat lol). Wear well fitted clothing even if you’re still trying to lose weight. You’ll look hotter during this stage with snug (not tight) clothes as opposed to big mens shirts and shorts. Wear heels wear you can. Wear dark clothes where you are bigger and pastels where you are smaller.

    I can hear the whiners already…..why do I have to change my body, I had my 8 children for him!!! Unconditional love doesn’t exist. Sure he may still love you but he may not feel “in love with you” (he thinks you’re an awesome friend and mother but he would prefer to bang your best friend who looks after herself). If you want to argue the point, go ahead but whilst you’re doing that some other woman is working that body at the gym while you waste time arguing your point. His desires are outside of your control. Either make yourself look amazing or don’t but the outcome is in your hands.

    Next step is where you need to play the alpha role which may feel incredibly uncomfortable at first. We are all trained great wives are ultra loyal. We are! But we need to create an illusion of possibly losing us. It creates a fear, high value and his masculinity seems to kick into gear. This is what most of us are failing to do because we are TOO (BETA) loyal.

    So your job is now to give eye contact to other men!!! Learn to flirt ladies. It will be incredibly awkward at first but keep trying. A smile is all it takes but doing that after years of being loyal to your man is hard. You’re not throwing sex at this stranger, just a friendly smile. It makes the man feel good while you remind your partner that you’re desirable by other men.

    I never thought this would be me but I’ve been driven to finding ways of saving my marriage for the sake of my beautiful children. It works it only took over two decades of tears to work it out.

    That is your answer, flirting without touching and then acting like it’s just a smile. Making another great meal, ironing his shirts, and cleaning the house will not make his masculine side appear.

    Feminine still means caring for your kids, nuzzling his neck, sitting on his lap and making his sex life as wonderful as you always have (if not more). Then back off and LET him come to you.

  16. I used to read this site a couple of years ago when it was “Married Man Sex Life” , what happened to it? Now it has articles on how women can manipulate their husbands even more than they already do? I guess there’s more money to be made catering to wives than husbands.

    Dude I recognize your IP and email address, if you’re going to troll at least put more effort into it. The overwhelming majority of my clients are male.

  17. Kickboxer Girl says:


    This website saved my marriage, we both didn’t know how to bring the passion back. I followed Girl Game and lost the weight, it took me a few years. I started looking feminine and it has made my husbands sex drive come back. I initially thought it was a testosterone problem because of his weight (estrogen) but it wasn’t, it was me getting fat and being the best mother I could be and putting everything and anything before my looks. Giving myself time to work out at the gym, eat healthy has benefited my husband. I thought it was shallow of men to be so visual and not to love unconditionally but I realise that I was fighting with reality.

    It works. Just try it and stop whining whether this benefits men or women, at the end of the day, it’s saving marriages and that’s worth it for those of us with children to protect.


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