Yesterdays post asked for your top 3 attractors that work on women. What follows is a quick and dirty meta-analysis of the 50+ comments. Seemed about a 85/15% split men and women answering.
All I’ve done is cut and paste the comments into groupings and flagged the number of times it was mentioned.
16 Times – Physical Fitness
Strong shoulders/back. Looks (I am very well built, was skinny but bulked up a bit, pretty face which backfires sometimes) I’m attracted by his physically fit body. Hollow spots above the hips. Being muscular and fit and wearing clothes that allow her to observe that fact. Muscles. Be physically attractive. Body. Lean muscle. When he looks like a Roman gladiator – serious muscle, but a layer of fat covering it. My height, health and youth. Physical fitness….sexual fitness. Being able to just pound and pound without getting winded. My physical stature, I’m fairly tall at 6’1?, but also pretty lean. When we met I was pretty ripped, so I’m working my way back to that.
Your upper body, arms and hands – so big and strong – keeps me safe and warm.
11 Times – Humor, Smarts and Skills
Making her laugh. Being clever and funny. His intelligence. Being cocky, funny, and a little bit of a jerk. Singing/playing the guitar – actually anything to do with writing/performing music. Cocky/funny – Often I’m being serious about something, but I guess I say it in funny ways. Intelligence – she often comments that I know a lot about a lot. *shrug*. Perception that I’m the smartest guy in the room. Bringing her to my jobsite so she can see the work I’ve done (I’m a house flipper). My intelligence. Not quite “Dr Sheldon Cooper smart”, but I probably should have been some kind of engineer. My sense of humour. Performing a physical task with mastery.
The one liners that you say that make me laugh.
10 Times – Personal Dominance
Telling her what clothes to (and not to) wear/buy. Ordering for her at restaurants. Eye Gaze. Game (teases, not spilling everything out, not advanced in any way) Making decisions quickly, pragmatically, and finally. Ignoring her by reading a book or whatever and allowing her to “earn” my attention. Making a decision (decisively!) and sticking to it even through all the “What about…” things she can throw out. Playful dominance, teasing, cocky attitude. Be strong. Confidence.
That thing he sometimes does, where he manages to touch me and pin me down/control my movement at the same times. Like when he comes up from behind, pinning me to the counter and kissing my neck. Or just pulling me onto his knee and keeping me there. Stuff like that.
9 Times – Social Dominance
Demonstrating social status, such as taking her out to a bar where everyone knows me and wants my attention for one reason or another. Powerful Public speaking. Being a leader. Dominating conversations with mental gymnastics and crazy stories. When she sees other women flirting with me. Public speaking. Preselection (eg demonstrated social dominance) Showing social dominance and confidence. Above all else, chicks dig social dominance and masculine gender polarity.
8 Times – Sexual Aggression and Isolation
She likes it when I isolate and make it known that I want to spend time with her, to the exclusion of everyone and everything else. Something that denotes physical fitness, like picking her up and throwing her onto the bed. 10 second kiss (© Athol Kay) + soft but firm carotid choke, while holding her against a wall. Pursuing her. Watching porn together (she has to be browbeat into it, but then goes crazy with lust) Behaving and dressing like a sex-crazed teen-aged headbanger. Aggression in bed. Showing sexual mastery. eg: Orgasm control (my own and hers), making her horny and then not gratifying her. Throwing her around and calling the shots in bed. Treating her body as my own, no questions asked.
That look he gets when I do something that turns his head, like a light has gone on and he *will* get into my knickers.
4 Times – Male Gender Appearance / Peacocking
Growing a beard. She likes it when I’m sweaty and dirty when I make things happen in the garden and around the house. Clothing/style. Dressing well.
2 Times – Risk Taking
Doing something aggressive/dangerous, like slashing open a giant bag of cat food with a very large knife. Protecting her aggressively. This one is so powerful it could count as the entirety of the top 10, but not too many chances to use it.
4 Times – Others…. and more Beta in nature…
Stability. Being on time (this one is extremely difficult for me) Show character. My ability to bring home the bacon out here in the oil patch.
Athol: So overall the takeaway is remarkably clear. Physical Fittness is a must and powers a lot of what follows afterward – especially feeding into Sexual Aggression. Personal and Social Dominance are quite closely related… and the bridge between the two of them is Humor, Smarts and Skills. Admittedly we aren’t all going to be rocket scientists and comedians, but anyone can get good at something and impress a crowd. And look like a dude… ideally one that isn’t wearing the same clothes you slept in.
So… top three things to do…
(1) Get in good physical shape as best you can.
(2) Develop skills that other people like. Ideally create a marketable toolset that other people need. (This powers your social dominance)
(3) Start making things happen. Approach the world from an active mindset, rather than a passive one.