Coffee and Croissant with Miss Communication

One of my favorite Star Trek scenes.

Picard and Beverley Crusher get captured and have devices attached to their brain stems by their captors. They eventually escape but there’s an interesting side effect in that the devices create a telepathic link between them. Most of the episode is devoted to the interplay between the two of them who already have a deep relationship  together, but are still miscommunicating because they like each other. They still have some strong defensive walls up to save face with others, despite being invested enough to meet for breakfast every morning. The private breakfast being an important part of their routine together and Beverley puts some effort into being creative with the food to please her Captain.

Riker is of course the actual First Officer of the Enterprise, but there’s no question that Beverley Crusher is the wife-like emotionally intimate “First Officer” to Picard.

(EDIT:  I’m fighting the YouTube.  Link to the video is here.)

There’s always the danger of miscommunication in marriage, leading to both of you being unhappy trying to please the other.

Just say what the hell you want. Stop being so damn polite.


What’s your coffee and croissant moment?



  1. Not an issue any longer but once upon a time, it was a miscommunication of what affection ment to each of us. Sounds basic but, when you get into the nuts and bolts of it, we had different expectations of how the other person would/should show affection. I made her write out a list of what she considered affectionate actions, physical and mental. I did the same. Cleared things right up. We stuck the lists to the wall and made sure we did them for each other until it because habit.

    Whenever our communication got comically bad, to let each other know, our goto line was “Darmok and Jalad, at Tanagra.”

  2. BetaTester says:

    My wife has a habit of speaking of two different things at the same time. I had sent her a text last Friday asking opinions on vacation time time this coming summer. She replied: “I just want to throw up! Just pick some days in June or July”. She was not shit-testing but rather expressing grief over the tragedy in CT and then answering my question on vacation.

  3. For me it has been in the past falling in the trap of hoping for mindreading and even going as far as thinking that mindreading is romantic. When I asked hubby for his take on misscommunication, he said when I have taken offense at something he didn’t mean to be offensive at all.

  4. Haha…just this morning. We were working out and discussing the sad state of my cousin who has a baby now with a woman who has two other kids she doesn’t have custody of. I dropped a few red pill nuggets in the conversation but she took them personally like I was jabbing them at her instead of discussing women in general. The way I spoke passionately about it combined with her natural feminine tendency to empathy and personalization wound the whole thing up into a miscommunication so much like the video it gave me a good laugh.

  5. We have these moments all the time. All the freakin time. Getting better though, because I’m learning to just ASK what he wants instead of assuming or trying to mind-read.

    I love Capt. Picard’s line about faking confidence. Surprised you didn’t comment on it, although that might be off topic from this post.


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