Good Beta, Betaized, Butler and Hooker Math

Beta skills are great. Everyone needs to know how to cook a meal, clean a house, buy groceries and generally have a full compliment of basic life skills. These really aren’t male or female skill sets in my mind, any one can do these. Kids can do them, I’ve taught people with developmental disabilities to do them.

Good Beta – I help out around the house a lot. I actually generally enjoy performing house work, I’m not saying our house is spotlessly clean and ready for the Queen to visit, but it’s not a health and safety concern either. Jennifer also does a lot of stuff around the house as well, so we both work and we both keep house. Jennifer is also appreciative of me helping out and I’m appreciative of her helping out.  Jennifer does more cooking and laundry than I do plus the grocery shopping. I do more yardwork, cleaning and move the high and the heavy objects. So in the context of Team Kay, my Beta skills and performance is a good thing.

I was actually quite pleased when in the middle of finishing off Thanksgiving Dinner together, Jennifer’s grandmother said, “Look at you two, it’s like you’re working in a restaurant.”   I’m performing Beta skills, but I’m also getting credit for them. I’m not building attraction that way, but I’m creating comfort and in Jennifer’s mind I’m getting points for it.

Betaized – This is where you’re still performing Beta skills, perhaps even exactly the same tasks as I’m doing, but you’re getting no credit for it. If your attractiveness is low, she doesn’t fear losing you, so all the Beta goodies you do are simply to make her life easier, rather than soothe away any sense of dread that you’re not emotionally attached to her. Thus…

If Jennifer is attracted to me, my helping out makes her feel safe about being attracted to me. I’m valuable to her vagina and I’m not one of those hit and run penises.

If Jennifer isn’t attracted to me, my helping out means my value to her is what I’m doing to make her life easier. Her vagina doesn’t care as long as my penis doesn’t go wandering off on an adventure.

You can tell when you’re in this situation because instead of her acting pleased, delighted or positive by your Beta goodies, she simply expects them. If all she does is a micro-second smile and praise routine, she’s simply being polite. Note the difference between her “positive attention” to you for doing something good, and how she acts when the dog takes a dump. If the dog is winning, you’re Betaized.

She’s also very likely giving you directions, demands, lists and expects task compliance. The marriage is run on her schedule and whim. You may very well be cooking gourmet meals, shelling out for expensive trips and surprising her with jewelry…  but it doesn’t count for shit unless she already wants to fuck you.

Butler – This is when Betaized turns into Betashit Crazy. If your wife is a SAHM… and you’re the one both holding down a job AND running about cooking, cleaning, taxi driving the kids everywhere, grocery shopping, yada yada yada…. you’re doing her whole damn job for her!

Now don’t get me wrong here, a SAHM isn’t going to be 100% responsible for every domestic chore in the house while hubby cracks open a beer and farts as hard as he can into the good sofa, that’s a bit much I agree. (Please refer back to “Team Kay” in the Good Beta section of this post, trust me, I get it.)  But if he comes home from work and then is doing 2-4 hours of chores of some description and then not getting even a whiff of the aroma of pussy… he’s basically her butler. His sole purpose is to provide her with a womb-like level of services.

You know how there’s that SAHM thing, itemizing out the value of everything she does to some crazy figure? You know, the one where it tries to assess the cost of everything she does on a per hour basis if was done by outside service providers. Personal chef $400 a week, maid service $300 a week, laundry $150 a week, personal shopper $250 a week, nanny $300 a week, nurse $100 a week, limo driver $300 a week….. = $1 million dollar value of service provided in a year. Okay, so hold that in your head for the next step…

Now account that value assessment for your own domestic chores, into your Hooker Math equation.

(Total yearly income from job + Bullshit domestic chore value plucked from air)  /  Number of times you have sex a year = Cost per lay

If your cost per lay is a figure that makes you disgusted,  you’re her butler.

Have a think about that.

 

Comments

  1. Peregrine John says:

    Bloody effin’ ell. What exactly do you think the calculation was that told me MMSL was a freaking amazing deal? Yeah. That calculation. Don’t call me Jeeves, though, or I’ll get a bit tiffy.

  2. It works both ways- I have a very supportive, helpful husband and mainly b/c he more or less gets laid as much as he wants. I’m a SAHM (yeah yeah hate me all you want… what the hell else should I do with a degree in underwater basket weaving aka religious studies? LOL). I see so many other moms bitching about their husbands and I’m just think to myself well if you actually bothered to check the mirror once in a while and didn’t insist on dressing as the sexless wonder (come on I know it’s difficult with all the weight fluxations pregnancy brings but if I can look decent on a Walmart budget and at a size I’d rather not be, what’s their deal? Gawd they even make nursing bras that are sexy now so seriously the frumpy look is a choice- takes just as much effort to throw on an ugly dress as it does a hot one…), maybe they wouldn’t be stuck doing all the diaper changes and laundry. Of course most of them don’t trust their husband to do anything b/c “he’ll just mess it up”, which just makes me think, man they have made a bad choice in a mate. Do the gene pool a favor and stop reproducing with someone who can’t boil water… oh and then if they start do mention anything sexual, it’s all how bad it is and they can’t anymore “because of the kids”. Uh, if you’ve been married to someone for yrs and you can’t both get each other off in the ten minutes you can sneak away while the kids are distracted by Elmo, well then that’s your own fault.

  3. OK. So how do we move from Betalized to Good Beta then? I’ve been running the MAP but this is an area where in the last couple of weeks I’ve started noticing directions & expectations.

  4. “Now don’t get me wrong here, a SAHM isn’t going to be 100% responsible for every domestic chore in the house while hubby cracks open a beer and farts as hard as he can into the good sofa, that’s a bit much I agree.”

    The way I’ve heard about the SAHM experience is that even with taking care of the kids, plus full domestic chores, it still doesn’t fill nearly enough time in the day to stave off boredom.

  5. BetaTester says:

    So how do you change this? Don’t just say “run the MAP”. My wife works part time but parks her ass on the couch for 4 or more hours after work. She does not even put her clothes away after I wash and fold them. If I stop doing these chores, the house becomes a squalor pit and the kids and I have to live in it. Her solution is we need a larger house (big time shit test).

  6. @BetaTester – I’ll follow up with that tonight.

    @Wolfie – You increase your Alpha.

  7. The Ringmistress says:

    @AlphaMission: I’m a SAHM and believe me, it is a more than full time job. Granted that I am also homeschooling and running a home business, just a couple of toddlers are more than capable of keeping me on my toes all day. Yes, spending all day on Facebook or forums is a temptation, but it’s not boredom but sloth at work there. If a SAHM is genuinely bored, that’s a signal to get a life. I probably do 90% of the housework. The last 10% the husband is doing is taking over cooking duties so I can actually eat the meals I cook with the family and stuff requiring two pairs of hands. And emptying the dishwasher. That is serious Good Beta.

  8. @L: I took my Religious Studies degree and went into porn. I’m considering founding a cult. I guess that’s more of a Master’s Degree level, though.

    @Wolfie: To elaborate on what Athol said, you stand up for yourself to her. You set the schedule, and you run the schedule, and you make her adhere to you, not the other way around. You give her a chore list and then hold her to account if it hasn’t been done. You don’t need to spank her or anything, just a “didn’t we discuss you doing the dishes this morning? Yet they remain undone. Can you explain that for me, please?”
    The whole Alpha Male Who Does Laundry thing is tricky, I admit, but as Athol indicates, it’s the way you do it that counts. And the rewards you receive. Try this little piece of assholery, if you want to get her attention. Find some job that you usually do without her even mentioning it, and then stop doing it. When she finally realizes you aren’t doing it, and wants to know when you’re going to knock it out, just shoot back “right after my next blowjob” and continue on your merry. Don’t stop for a relationship discussion, just nail it and go. Outcome independent, remember.

    @ Beta Tester: Get rid of the couch. Or at least make it inoperable. Send it “out for cleaning” for a week, see what happens. Same for the television. “Break” it for a few days by hiding the power cord and then look confused and distant when she begs you to fix it. Play a game with the kids instead. Stop doing her laundry — just do yours and the kids. She’ll notice the lack of clean panties after a while. If she asks when you’re going to do more panties, refer to my response for Wolfie, above.

    And the “bigger house”? Try “less stuff”. Start throwing unneeded stuff away or put it in storage. When things start to look empty, she’ll start suspecting something is up.

    Oh, and if she whines about being “too tired after such a hard day at work, you KNOW I need my brain candy on television to calm down and relax” then suggest that if she is tired, that she retire extra-early that evening . . . so that she can get a fresh and energetic start on the day tomorrow.

    If that doesn’t piss her off and get her attention, your next logical step is to set yourself on fire.

  9. I see that movie so differently now than I did when I first watched it.

  10. Peregrine John says:

    Ian’s right (as usual). It augments it that when it gets to the depths BT’s been subjected to, outcome independence is easy because the worst that can happen is merely the status quo. This is why cornered animals are dangerous.

  11. Ian is spot on, as usual.
    Anyone else would like to see movie or series reviews analyzed through red pill goggles?

  12. @Sis

    I see all movies and tv shows differently since the red pill. Now I know why she cheated on him and his daughter went after the alpha male.

  13. Dang, I really need to rewatch that movie. Haven’t seen it since well before I discovered all this.

  14. @Beta Tester – I agree completely with what Ian says (for once). I’d opt for getting rid of the TV, though. In a marriage with kids, NO ONE’S ass should be on the couch for hours. It’s not fair, it’s not healthy, it’s poor parenting, and it’s a bad example for the kids. If she’s tired or sick, she can go to bed. This should be a non-negotiable issue.

  15. I like this breakdown, makes perfect sense. Great post.

    Ian ironwood said: “You set the schedule, and you run the schedule, and you make her adhere to you, not the other way around. You give her a chore list and then hold her to account if it hasn’t been done. You don’t need to spank her or anything, just a “didn’t we discuss you doing the dishes this morning? Yet they remain undone. Can you explain that for me, please?”

    Yep, this is how it is currently playing out for us. Just having the expectation of it getting done is good motivation for me, I enjoy it. With us it started with me complaining that the boys are too rambunctious and never pick up after themselves. The truth is they DO listen to Dad better than me, so DH started getting the kids to pick up their toys. Once he had it set as a routine he said “there’s no reason you can’t get them to do it when I am not here.” So it was definitely a challenge he issued to me, and then he started to hold me to it before he left for work. It’s been working really well. I am a SAHM, so as of right now, we’ve agreed what my chore load is, and we both see eye to eye on it. The more it becomes a routine that x,y,z is on my shoulders, the easier it works for us. I feel kind of stupid that we needed to create a system for it, but oh well. It is what is.

    A clear delineation of duties should help clarify the whole situation as to who’s in charge of what. That said, if the wife does not care about living in squalor, then that’s a tough one…

  16. I love the equation!

    I’ve learned to make sure I’m making my own choices. I do things that I want to do–not because I want to earn points or favors or anything. If I want to help out because I feel it adds value and helps the family, then I do. If I think my kids need me and I enjoy being with them, I do–and I play in the way I want to. If I don’t, then I don’t.

    If she yells and nags, I try my best to make sure that doesn’t get her any additional help. When she said, “That’s the only way to get any attention,” I knew I was doing something wrong and had to re-think my own actions to make sure bad behavior doesn’t earn any attention.

  17. Correct me if I’m wrong (and I KNOW you will!), but it seems to me that taking away the TV and sending the couch out for cleaning seems more Taken In Hand than MAP to me.

    Isn’t MAP supposed to be a carrot and stick approach?

    (And, who the hell sends a couch out for cleaning? When the couch gets too gross from dogs, cats, a multitude of food stains, and the handful of cum stains, we usually toss it out the upstairs window, hitting the utility trailer if we’re lucky, and go find another free couch. It sounds trashy, but it’s amazing how often people give away couches that are still in good condition.)

    Yeah I wouldn’t take away the couch and TV, that would escalate the conflict about things that aren’t the issue.

  18. @ringmistress: Exactly my point. A couple kids and housework alone doesn’t fill a day. I’m sure adding homeschooling and a home business keeps you busy though.

  19. Have to disagree here. Being able to cook/clean/laundry as a man, in my eyes is very alpha. These are basics and every man should be able to take care of himself. Sends the message to wifey that if she fucks up and leaves, you won’t be much affected by it.

    You telling me that Chef Ramsay is a beta? LOL!

    Of course if you are doing these things while she is drinking the beer and farting into the new couch, you are screwed.

    Chef Ramsay is a famous chef and TV personality. Thus Alpha.

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