Preselection is a tricky element for a married man to master.
Basically the more women that are interested in you, the better. If your wife sees some hot blond talking with you, slapping you on the forearm and laughing just a little too much… your wife is going to view her as being interested in you. So it’s tempting to create situations where your wife sees other women paying attention to you. Usually early attempts to make this happen simply turn into you hitting on another woman in front of your wife, and instead if your wife being attracted more… she’s just mad.
If you’re single and trying to meet women, then yes, you need to be active in approaches toward them. The bold confident approach is much better than being passive. However for married guys, you’ve already met a woman, so you’re not meant to be actively looking for another one. Thus you need to be somewhat passive and let them come to you.
The trick is to be generally attractive, engaging and playfully fun with your interactions with women… and importantly, most women you’re coming into contact with. Plus don’t ignore other men either. You’re just like this with everyone, it’s your personality to be magnetic and Alpha. You’re not trying to actively target someone to escalate. You’re just “the sort of guy that’s attractive to women”. Thus when women are attracted to you, the cause is your attractiveness and not you being disloyal. You weren’t out looking for anyone in particular, they came to you.
Your wife knowing other women want you is a very strong Alpha Trait presence. The balance of being loyal and not actively seeking women to escalate with is a strong Beta Trait presence. She’ll be turned on, but also feel you’re safe enough to trust and give you her all. Your wife wants to believe that you’re not going to dump (or cheat on) her on a whim, but push comes to shove, you’ll end up with a new woman easily.
The downside is without active approaches, the level of attractiveness you need to reach the threshold where other women approach you, is going to be higher. So if say she’s an 8, if you’re a 7 she’s not interested no matter what. If you’re an 8, nothing will happen until you make a move on her and start actively trying to engage her. If you’re a 9, you won’t need to make a move on her, she’ll seek you out.
So if your wife sees another woman being interested in you and you’re equal Sex Rank to her, your wife suspects you made a move on her. If your wife sees another woman being interested in you and you’re higher Sex Rank than her, your wife just thinks this is the sort of thing that happens when you have a hot husband.
On the flip side, being married is usually a Preselection boost in the eyes of other women. It’s not uncommon for freshly married guys to find themselves getting hit on more than they were before they were married.
Anyway the solution, single or married, is just the same. Make yourself more attractive. You catch more with honey and all that.