Three Years of MMSL

Three years is a long time.

When I started the blog, I thought I knew exactly what I was doing… but now I realize I didn’t really have much of a clue. I just plowed ahead with this intense need to write and learn and do something. I’d stumbled onto a set of interesting ideas and and had an answer that I simply had to say.

Since then I’ve had several hundred people write to me and tell me that their life was significantly better for having read the blog and the book. I’ve seen the photos of weddings and “thanks to MMSL” babies. I’ve seen affairs headed off at the pass, and some mopped up a little too late. Some people simply move on to better and brighter relationships. Some people are still walking a hard path.

I do look back though and see some major changes in how I wrote. 2010 is perky and bouncy… then dad died and 2011 is more reserved. 2012 is a little more tired. I’ve been so tired. I’ve said nearly everything that I think I need to say on the blog. There’s only so much energy I have and near daily posting has become a drain.

I’ve also had over the last few weeks a whole second wave of of ideas and fine tuning to the overall MMSL approach. I’m not saying the old stuff is wrong, just that the new stuff is easier to understand, stronger in practice, less offensive and answers all those “but what about?” questions. But it’s going to take some time to write it all out properly so don’t be surprised if the blog posting starts tapering down a lot and is little less about me and more about the content.

Anyway, say tuned. Know where your wallets are.


  1. Looking forward to reading the new ideas.

  2. Congrats on 3 years, Athol. Keep up the great work, in whatever form it takes

  3. Not sure if this was already mentioned or if it already crossed your mind, but red pill matchmaking services?



  5. MMSL is what enabled me to stop my wife’s emotional affair before it turned physical.

    I was alternating between blowing up in a rage at her (and the guy), and being stuck in the whole “I don’t want to be a controlling jerk about who she’s friends with … I’ll give her the space she’s asking for … if she loves me, she’ll come back to me of her own accord” bullshit.

    Within a couple of days after reading MMSL, I knew what I had to do. I very calmly said to my wife, “I’m only going to say this once — it’s either him or me. You can’t have any contact with him and stay married to me at the same time. Choose carefully. I’ll need your answer before noon tomorrow.”

    It snapped her out of her magical thinking, that’s for sure.

  6. “MMSL is what enabled me to stop my wife’s emotional affair before it turned physical. ”

    Ditto for me. Headed off at the pass.
    Thank you for the last year and a half Athol.

  7. practically perfect says:

    I’ll second t’s comment. I’ve thought for the longest time that a Red Pill dating/match making service is sorely needed. It would be another way of getting the Red Pill message out there about intersexual relations by creating viable examples of Red Pill living in a blue pill world and providing an alternative choice to it. I have a young woman I am mentoring who participates on a few dating sites and is already overwhelmed with the task of sorting through the blue pill detritus out there. Think of each new couple as walking Red Pill/Manosphere bill boards, if you will. It’s an idea who’s time has come and I’ve had for a while but don’t have the tech ability to act on it.

    There are dating sites for farmers, older adults, athletic types, religious types, vegeatarians even have a site.

    Athol, you have the best chance out of any of the manosphere bloggers at succeeding at this, just because of your approach to women. I really am not trying to start a comment war, but MMSL lacks the open hostility towards women that many of the other sites I visit seems to have. Mainly because I get the feeling, and please correct me if I am wrong, that you view women/wives not on equal status with their men but of equal value to the relationships. Whenever I come across a young person who is looking for answers about dating and relationships this is the only site besides HUS I send them to because it is a reasonable introduction to the Red Pill.

  8. The Outsider says:

    Athol, one thing you might want to keep in mind is that, while the stuff from 2010 may seem old to you, it’s new and important to your new readers. Most work is repetitive and boring, that’s the nature of the world. Don’t let your boredom distract you from providing value.

    Maybe some way or recycling old topics and posts back to the top of the blog, as a start.

    Happy new year.

  9. “… I’m not saying the old stuff is wrong, just that the new stuff is easier to understand, stronger in practice…” Well that certainly sounds intriguing.

  10. Congratulations, Athol. You do great work. More than that, you are doing the work of the One in whom you no longer believe. Mysterious ways and all that…. Best of fortune to you in 2013. And you’ll find your energy again. I’ve been doing this since 2003; there is an ebb and flow to it. Just let yourself relax and ride with the tide.

  11. enlightened1 says:

    What I love about you Athol is that you listen to that inner voice. It’s what has guided you in your discoveries and will be beside you in this metamorphosis. I’ve learned a lot about writing by watching you these last three years. Thank you for this and your gift of transparency. Godspeed in your next phase.

  12. I have really only read posts from 2012 and maybe some older posts that were linked or referenced in 2012. I wonder how many worthwhile posts there are for 2010 and 2011…. maybe you could do a couple random “flash from the past” posts every week…?

  13. FlyingDutchman says:

    I second the “flash from the past” posts. There are some classics in there and they can actually be hard to find. The forum is great, but it goes all over the place and perhaps even dilutes some of the core MMSL concepts found in the primer and some of the original blog posts. I think you could bring some new life back to the blog by highlighting some of the older posts and original concepts from the primer.

  14. Less offensive? I hope not. The truth hurts, and the best thing about the MMSLP is that is doesn’t pull any punches.

  15. *one of the best things.

    The best thing is that it WORKS!

  16. Thanks for helping me out too! Your book was a marriage saver!

    It’s hard to work so hard on one thing for several years and not get burned out. Maybe a short hiatus or another project to get the creative juices flowing. I know from my own work, that if you leave something for a while and come back to it, you can have new insight and energy around it. Good Luck!

  17. YAY ATHOL!
    It’s all good dude, take a break, heck, take a vacation, write it, rewrite it, publish when ready. (I’ll be a proofer if you like! :)

  18. Katherine Kelly says:

    It is diffficult for those who create to manage their creations for very long because the managing takes them away from the creating that is their true calling.

    At first the creation changes them much how a parent who creates life is changed by the life they create.

    Depending on the nature of what is created this may last a lifetime or cease as soon as the completion of the creation is realized by the creator.

    This is known by the sense of exhaustion experienced because the creation is no longer sustaining its original purpose, but one secondary to the original impulse to create.

    What is created acts on the creator changing the creator to prepare for the next creation.

    When what is created no longer does this than it is time for the next evolutionary step in the process.

    There are creators who create from nothing and there are managers who are creative in managing what already has been created.

    Creating comes from an irresistible obsession to create and it is ignored at ones peril.

    Thank you.

  19. @Athol
    ANYONE who keeps up the one-post-a-day schedule PLUS answers reader emails, comments, and forum posts (oh, and has a family, other job, life, etc) would burn out! And probably do it sooner than three years! You’ve given a lot of yourself to help others since starting MMSL. Sounds like you’re well past due for some introspection and figuring out what you need too.

  20. Richard J says:

    Ever climbed a mountain. Changes your view of the world.

    Go climb Mt. Rainier in Washington State. It’s a one maybe two day round trip.

  21. FeralFelis says:

    I’ve never read blog as consistent as yours.
    I used to read aag (always aruosed girl): this was her last post, on 12/19, after an 11 day, unannounced break:

    It’s gratifying that so many of you have emailed, Facebooked or tweeted to ask if I’m alright and not, for instance, in traction after being hit by a train or trapped under something heavy — but really, truly, I’m fine. Apparently I needed a bit of a break. I can’t tell you how lovely it’s felt to step away from the everyday grind of writing for a while, and after six-plus years of doing so I don’t feel the least bit compelled to apologize.

    I came to you from Dick-and-Jane; there are long (sometimes more than a month) gaps in his writing, as well. This post from 3/26/12, “A Brief Timeout”:
    I won’t apologize for our absence or ask for understanding, to do so would suggest we owe something to our readers… which we don’t. This blog is solely for us, though we readily welcome and appreciate any like minded followers. The fact that we have been missed is genuinely touching and we would like to assure everyone who has read this far that we will be posting again soon

    You DO set this blog up as something for others, but if you don’t stay mentally healthy, it won’t help anyone. Do what you need to do. It would help if you’ll tell us, in advance, something like: “I’ll be gone about a month and post blasts from the past once a week while I’m gone.”

    Good luck to you!

  22. I have been thinking too that a series of post on the MMSL basics would be helpful to new readers and a good review for old readers.

    @practically perfect – I also appreciate that Athol has created an environment that is not hostile towards women.

  23. Been reading your blog for 2 out of 3 of those years, I can imagine it’s been a lot of work a break is probably much needed, and much deserved.

    Looking forward to what the new material/rewrites might be like.

  24. Dude this blogging thing is a frickin’ marathon and I’m getting shin splints and shingles.

  25. Welcome to the world of “teaching.” (It could be worse. You could be in entertainment.) The trick is to coast using old material when you are tired, and work in fresh when you feel motivated. Don’t stress over it. It’s just the gig.

  26. Athol- Finished your book and immediately began reading it again. I’ll likely read it at least once more. Will buy your new one for sure. Also made my married son get one. I started my MAP on Jan 1 and it’s already beginning to show (minor) positive results. One thing that has made a big difference for me was to switch to shoes with raised heels. It changes my posture, makes me taller and less likely to slump. (+1 alpha… my weak area) So, shoes can be important, guys. If you’re always in running shoes, get some shoes/boots with heels. Very helpful to my attitude.

    Keep up the good work, brother!

    PS- Have ‘talks’ with your Dad. I do with mine, and it works well for me.

  27. Must be something really big, I haven’t seen a post out of Athol for 8 days!

  28. metasteve says:

    Check Instapundit…there he is. Great move, I think…

  29. metasteve says:

    And leveraging up to that audience as he starts out…brilliant…

  30. congrats Brother. continued success to you.

    what i liked about the last book-
    it’s a VERY easy read.

    your sense of humor is great, and it makes reading fun.

    you want validation, i changed my name in a girls cell to “dickzilla”, and she didn’t change it.

    also Bb started posting again. you REALLY should read her site. she married and she runs MAAAAD girl game. i have her linked on my site. of google, bbsezmore. it’s a wordpress site.

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