Fixing Flat Tires and Relationship Game

It’s 2013 and women no longer need to be frankly insulted by offers of being rescued from anything by men. Like a fish needs a bicycle and all that.  I-don’t-really-need-a-man-for-anything-when-I-have-my-vibrator-my-chocolate-and-all-these-adorable-cats. So I exaggerate a little, but in truth, many women actually find white knights a tad creepy


But can she get the lug-nuts off a flat tire?

Well to be honest, some women can and it’s no issue to them at all to change a tire. But there is a pure strength element to it and some women just can’t. Which then forces them to call someone else who can. That boils down to…

(1)  You.

(2)  AAA or some other car service outfit.

(3) That other guy that wants to fuck her.

Those answers are ranked in the order of your best interest. If your woman has to be saved, you should be the guy doing it. You don’t want to frame some other guy as the rescue hero for her. You should consider that if you can’t fix her problem, and she has to call some other guy in, you’ve green lit setting her up on a first date experience where he’s going to game the hell out of her.

Bad things may follow after that.

So anyway… if you don’t know how to change a tire… watch the video and at least spend 15 minutes of your time having a practice run through changing a tire before you need to put the skills to use.

Also in worst case scenario where she has both a flat tire AND a flat spare… usually the spare isn’t punctured, just very low on air. So just toss it in your car and fill it at any gas station with an air compressor. (Always have a couple bucks in quarters in your car.)    Or at the very least, park her car somewhere safe and drive away with one of the flats in your car.

And remember to act like it’s no big deal. Climbing the highest tower, slaying the dragon, not much to tell really. Just the Princess Fiona Plan on a  normal Tuesday. Quid pro quo and all that.

Also…. if you’re a girl and you want to Game a certain guy into rescuing you and all the wonderful isolation and one on one time that entails (not to mention the social obligation you can impose on yourself to invite him over to your place for a nice dinner, wine and a remarkably improved likelihood of coitus), you just park at the side of the road and call him up and say you have a flat tire. Sound mildly frustrated, but not too much. If he says he’ll come, coo to him with praise and gratitude. Then get out of the car, unscrew the little black cap off the tire valve and using your car keys, depress the little pin in the center of the value and let the air out of the tire until it looks properly flat. Then await rescue…

 Pick a day he’s not working of course. If he’s into you, he’ll come.



Reader:  After reading MMSL and have started to turn my marriage into what it should be…slowly. I had a friend, who knows I’ve read MMSL, come up to me this morning and ask me “Is it too beta to make coffee every morning and bring it to your wife in bed.” He said it’s a way to show her that you appreciate her everyday. I told him I would not do that everyday. Is that too Beta? Am I wrong?

Athol:  It’s a comfort building move, so yes it’s Beta. I’m fairly often up before Jennifer and I always make a beeline for the coffee maker myself. Takes me an extra minute to make Jennifer a cup as well if she wants one. As Beta moves go it’s a fairly quick, easy and direct one.

But the real question is whether he’s generally Alpha or not. The formula looks like this…

Alpha + Beta = WIN

Beta = LOSE

Women love Beta. Love, love, love Beta…. but only from a man that has Alpha.

There really is no “bad Beta” unless you mean it in the sense of “the cup of coffee you bought her this morning was a terrible cup of coffee.” As in, something that was meant to be nice and comforting, was actually kinda yucky. If you cooked her dinner and she gets food poisoning, that’s “bad Beta”.

But usually what people mean by “bad Beta” is a Beta move delivered with a Display of Low Value / terrible Alpha. That’s what gets her contempt circuits starting up.

You don’t scamper about like a lost puppy looking to be let outside, bringing her a cup of coffee. You don’t wince at her slight frown of displeasure with the first sip. You don’t return to the kitchen to “try and get it right”. You don’t bounce up and down on your heels waiting for praise for bringing mistress her coffee. You don’t hope you get your dick sucked for bringing her a cup of coffee.

You just make her a cup of coffee.

Then get on with your Alpha day.

When You Can’t Tell The Difference Between Normal and Crazy Anymore

Way, way, way back in my Talk About Marriage commenting days, I used to have a signature line that said something like, “50% of my advice is that she’s cheating on you, the other 50% is ‘What the hell are you thinking?'”

It’s not always true anymore, but you’d be surprised at how often someone has a completely screwed up situation that they are so used to coping with… it seems normal to them. For a lot of people actually arriving to the MMSL Forum and finally telling someone else their story is what makes the light bulbs finally click on for some people…

I also need to say to you all that I was utterly shocked that you moved me into the 911 category. I feel like, with all the confusion and upheaval, that I’ve lost touch with reality. HE definitely has, at least is that way some of the time, but now I realize I don’t know what is normal any more, what is really bad and critical. I do realize I’ve been too Beta and too polite. That I should have thrown a shit fit on day one, and laid down an ultimatum. And by taking care of the house, family, bills, I was relieving him of responsibility and freeing him up to pursue his outside interests. That really pisses me off. I thought I was making life easier for him, and it turns out I was!

That one involved requests for threesomes, a workplace death, depression and an affair… yet she was shocked at the moving her thread into the 911 Category to monitor it better. More to come possiblity too.

So anyway… got something happening where you kinda, sorta, maybe think it’s a messed up crazy situation? Get the free forum booklet…  Join the forum…  Buy the Primer…  and you’ll be on your way to sorting it all out before you know it.

Married Game and Diminishing Returns

LongTimeReader: Do diminishing returns set in? Because after all, you’re supposed to be “mixing it up”: So just being fit and staying fit, while a necessary, will over time lose some of its previous attraction as it becomes the “new normal”.

Athol:  Adaptation is a problem. I’ve worked with some rather severely limited patients in the 25-40 IQ range and they all learn routines and get used to them quickly. I also have a cat that seems to have learned to meow loudly at 615am on week days for treats, and at 930am on weekends. So just imagine how quickly regular adults learn routines.

The good news is that things like fitness are structural in nature. They are “always on” and will always have a net positive effect. Having a good job/income is always a net positive too. There’s nothing you can do for them other than keep them up to speed.

What you can change… and should change up once in a while… is the other stuff. Don’t have sex in the same position every night. Don’t go to the same restaurant every night. Don’t vacation in the same place every year. Don’t bring home the same flowers every time. Don’t have one favorite shirt.

Variety is the spice of wife.

If you’re working out in the gym, doing the same thing over and over and over does result in diminishing returns. But switching your exercise to something new gets you results. Then later you can head back and do the first thing again. The idea is that you confuse your muscles and avoid them adapting to your exercise. So there is sort of an emotional equivalent of muscle confusion that gets you emotional gains in your relationship too.

Things like your job, fitness, health, house etc, are all structural in nature and yeah some of it is boring as hell to do, but you gotta. This is the “chicken” part of “everything tastes like chicken”.

But the things like playful teasing, surprises, Sexy Moves yada yada yada, are all temporary in nature and are like different spices. Those you should mix up once in a while, because you can and it’s more interesting that way. You can serve chicken a hundred different ways and it’s better for it. Just mix it up (Chicken Monkey Duck)

Though you can’t spice up a rotting chicken so it’s tasty.

Old Flames… It’s Cool If We’re Friends Right?

Athol:  Married dude calls up old flame to discuss things. To his great surprise it’s like stepping into a emotional Narnia as everything comes flooding back. They talk for 4.5 hours on the phone.

Thus the question…. is it possible to keep this on a friendship level?

Er…… no. No it it isn’t. It was a mistake to even call her.

HamsterMan:  No, it wasn’t a mistake.  Calling her up cleared up some mental crap I had been carrying around for a long time, so that was an unalloyed good.

My intentions are completely honorable.  Geography makes a Physical Affair impossible.  I don’t want an Emotional Affair.

Is there any way to get into the friend zone?  Lol, when did people start to want that?

Athol:  Well, okay. If you kill her sexual interest in you, it could work. Maybe you can…

Call her up and start talking about dolphins getting caught in tuna nets and cry for 10-15 minutes.

Talk about how when you watched Bugs Bunny as a kid, and he dressed as a girl bunny, you felt confused inside.

Tell her you have erectile dysfunction.

Drunk dial her at 245am her time. And 310am. And 325am. And 430am. On a Monday.

Have your wife screaming in the background of the call that you need to go to the store to pick up tampons for her.

Mention your colostomy bag keeps falling off. Your insurance was denied and now you have to use ziplock sandwich bags and they’re hopeless.

Call collect. Then ask her for money.

Use the joke, “Yes, but why is the rum gone?” seven times in the same phone call. Then text her it twice.

Ask if she’d consider making a healer for World of Warcraft.

Tell her you jizzed in your pants thinking about her. Two weeks ago. During a funeral.

I mean you realize when she Friendzones you, she’s not going to take your calls right?

What’s the point of this exercise?

No. No you can’t.