Fixing Flat Tires and Relationship Game

It’s 2013 and women no longer need to be frankly insulted by offers of being rescued from anything by men. Like a fish needs a bicycle and all that.  I-don’t-really-need-a-man-for-anything-when-I-have-my-vibrator-my-chocolate-and-all-these-adorable-cats. So I exaggerate a little, but in truth, many women actually find white knights a tad creepy

Hmmmm…

But can she get the lug-nuts off a flat tire?

Well to be honest, some women can and it’s no issue to them at all to change a tire. But there is a pure strength element to it and some women just can’t. Which then forces them to call someone else who can. That boils down to…

(1)  You.

(2)  AAA or some other car service outfit.

(3) That other guy that wants to fuck her.

Those answers are ranked in the order of your best interest. If your woman has to be saved, you should be the guy doing it. You don’t want to frame some other guy as the rescue hero for her. You should consider that if you can’t fix her problem, and she has to call some other guy in, you’ve green lit setting her up on a first date experience where he’s going to game the hell out of her.

Bad things may follow after that.

So anyway… if you don’t know how to change a tire… watch the video and at least spend 15 minutes of your time having a practice run through changing a tire before you need to put the skills to use.

Also in worst case scenario where she has both a flat tire AND a flat spare… usually the spare isn’t punctured, just very low on air. So just toss it in your car and fill it at any gas station with an air compressor. (Always have a couple bucks in quarters in your car.)    Or at the very least, park her car somewhere safe and drive away with one of the flats in your car.

And remember to act like it’s no big deal. Climbing the highest tower, slaying the dragon, not much to tell really. Just the Princess Fiona Plan on a  normal Tuesday. Quid pro quo and all that.

Also…. if you’re a girl and you want to Game a certain guy into rescuing you and all the wonderful isolation and one on one time that entails (not to mention the social obligation you can impose on yourself to invite him over to your place for a nice dinner, wine and a remarkably improved likelihood of coitus), you just park at the side of the road and call him up and say you have a flat tire. Sound mildly frustrated, but not too much. If he says he’ll come, coo to him with praise and gratitude. Then get out of the car, unscrew the little black cap off the tire valve and using your car keys, depress the little pin in the center of the value and let the air out of the tire until it looks properly flat. Then await rescue…

 Pick a day he’s not working of course. If he’s into you, he’ll come.

 

Comments

  1. Technically, she could also call a male relative of hers like her dad or brother or something if they live nearby. That would be best option after you (and remember sparks could potentially fly with AAA guy- not as likely but still possible). Also kick@$$ gas stations like QuikTrip have free air so try one of them before spending your quarters:)

  2. Posts like this anger me, not because of what the woman does; but because of the Beta that I used to be.

    The Beta that let a woman talk him into tearing out her toilet, flooring, sub-flooring, and reinstalling sub-flooring, flooring, and a new toilet.

    It wasn’t a one day job.

    And I didn’t get laid.

    Never again.

  3. Steve Canyon says:

    I’ve found that, save for the lugnuts on a semi, very few cars out there will have lugnuts that are too tight to remove with the stock lug wrench and a 2-3 foot length of 1/2″ steel pipe. Slide it over the end of the wrench, you have a “cheater bar” and even a woman with minimal arm strength will be capable of removing a tire.

  4. A.B. Dada says:

    I’ve had a rule that has kept up well: before I’ll allow a woman to call me her boyfriend, she has to show me that she can change her car tire.

    It’s a fun “date” anyway — show her how to do it, and then make her show you that she CAN do it.

    Also, a nice present for her: a decent breaker bar to help get the lug nuts off if they’re tight.

    Also a nice present for her: a little laminated card that she keeps in her glove box to give to the tire shop that says “IF YOU TIGHTEN MY LUGS WITH AN IMPACT WRENCH, YOU OWE ME A FREE TOW WHEN THE TIRE BLOWS.”

    I recently got a check for $800 from a tire shop that tightened my expensive lugs with an impact wrench, even with multiple warnings.

  5. This really only works if you’re a two car family or live in a place with great public transit. If the car breaks down I’m calling to find out what he thinks I should do and whether I should call his dad or AAA.

  6. Or carry a small air compressor in your car. The things are pretty cheap.

    Also carry jumper cables.

  7. And this is why my dad made sure I could change my own tires. Of course, the AAA guy who tends to come out for tows to this area is pretty cute, sooooo… I only know this because my STBX didn’t know anything about car stuff and always called AAA when he was in trouble because if he didn’t know something, obviously I couldn’t possibly know it either.

  8. I once sent a date home in a tow truck (radiator hose blew, all stations closed because it was almost midnight.) Next day I bought a replacement hose and antifreeze and fixed the car. One of our last conversations was that she would be telling her grandchildren about it on her deathbed (They will think it strange, since we wee pretty much over by then.)

  9. Brotherdance says:

    That little piece of girl game would totally have pulled me in in my single days. Conniving, but brilliant.

  10. Sherlock says:
  11. Apolitical says:

    Here is a trick to help women break the lug nuts loose. Place the lug wrench parallel to the ground on the left side of the lug nut, and then stand on it. If shes very light she may have to bounce or jump up and down a bit, but it usually breaks free pretty easy. Be sure to lean on the car while you’re doing it, so when it breaks free you won’t fall down.

  12. FeralFelis says:

    @ David-
    Too right! But not just the compressor and the (high-quality) jumper cables. Carry a tire plug kit, too. And a small tool kit with a flashlight and a leatherman tool. Add some of that special tape which will wrap around a hose which has burst, an orange reflective triangle or two, at least a gallon of water, and a blanket (I like the thick blankets used by movers) so you don’t have to kneel down in the gravel (plus, if you get stranded in the snow, you won’t freeze to death). Yes, I’m a woman, but my dad taught me well.

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