From the forum…
Female Reader: Do you find yourself doing the same thing. Every. Single. Day.
I am in a situation where our lives are very, very busy – doing the same things over and over. I can go weeks without having to go beyond a 5 mile radius of my house. We do the same things. In the same places. With all the same people. Even my work, which I love, is starting to feel stale.
Now granted it is not literally the same thing. But I find my brain is often on auto pilot…
(Athol: I removed about 1000 words here…)
…Not sure what I am looking for here. I guess I just wanted to see if anyone can relate.
RedPillWifey: I think it’s possible to be a little bored with being a SAHM without it being a huge 911 issue. Some days it’s just a monotonous grind of diapers, baby food, and tears. It’s just something you have to muck through for a while… The feeling comes and goes. Never have I had the thought to go to a bar to get picked up (unless it was my husband). I’m a tad jealous that he basically has his Dream Job right now, and loves going to work, but he does his best to keep my life interesting. I try to speak up when I need something.
Nothing wrong with feeling a little bored, IMO.
Athol: Reducing Female Reader’s entire comment to a single thought it’s something like, “This is all a bit boring and I want some Alpha in my life”. While RedPillWifey sums to, “This is all a bit boring, but I have some Alpha in my life.”
The key phrases to trigger a red flag vs. green flag response are, “Not sure what I am looking for here. I guess I just wanted to see if anyone can relate.” vs. “he does his best to keep my life interesting. I try to speak up when I need something.”
I think what most men don’t understand is that being at home is often vastly understimulating to a normal adult. I mean really, it’s nothing like the effort needed in 1913 to keep house in 2013. So when he comes home, the lower stress environment is experienced by him as relaxing, and he wonders what is so unenjoyable about it all to his wife.
Meanwhile, she’s bored senseless. It never starts off as bars and Girls Night Out shenanigans though. Facebook and flirting is where it’s at. It can creep up on you so slowly though. No one plans to have an affair, or get disgusted with their husband and fall out of love. It just slowly drifts away….
That’s why I keep coming back to needing to be a SAHM plus something. I don’t care what the something is, just something. Any kind of additional productive stimulation beats sitting on the couch watching TV.
But it’s also why husbands need to be the Captain. SAHM’s eat up a Firm, Fair and Frisky husband with a spoon. If a SAHM has been sufficiently bored to the point where the mailman arriving is an event, the arrival of her husband is a much bigger event to look forward too. If he can fight the natural inclination to walk through the door and go completely off-duty, there’s a lot to be said for allowing her ten minutes of undivided attention to disgorge her daily report.
After that, do whatever… just remember to play with her during the evening. Light teasing, a little groping… anything is better than ignoring each other.
Jennifer: No matter what you’re doing, if it’s the same old thing every day you look to your partner for a little stimulation…and hopefully they provide it. (And yes, I’m looking over my shoulder to see Athol with his “I’ll stimulate you, baby…” face on.)