A mildly disjointed collection of rantings trying to bitchslap the proper understanding of what running the MAP is, into the minds of the wives on the forum. Somehow there’s this understanding that the Red Pill is in fact pink, and all they need to do is grow long hair, put on some lipstick, fall on their backs with their legs apart, and their Alpha Prince will cum.
Except all that happens when they do that is their fat, underemployed ManBetaPig just enjoys the sex and then lights up a joint and plays Diablo 3 for five hours. I exaggerate to be sure, but that’s the essential problem.
There is no “FAP”
The only difference between what a man needs to be doing and what a woman needs to be doing is what creates a dopamine response in the opposite sex.
Male Alpha = more dominance, power, strength
Female Alpha = more flirty, girly appearance
That’s about it.
If you’re a female running the MAP, you should have men other than your husband throwing IOI’s at you. If you don’t, you’re not yet in Phase Three.
Why the “default yes” is a bad thing
It’s basically like dumping three tons of fish into the dolphin tank at SeaWorld and wondering why the dolphins are no longer interested in doing any tricks.
If your wife is into you, she doesn’t need a rule to want to fuck you.
Serendipity gets it
Serendipity: Yeah I learned the hard way that sex = everything is fine, but even when he wasn’t getting sex he didn’t seem to care and just gave up. MMSL helped me understand WHY I didn’t want sex with my husband for so long when early on in the relationship I definitely did. I couldn’t understand what changed and lack of sex was something my husband complained about forever and I always thought it was the kids, being tired or whatever it was. Now I know why.
So despite my FAP I had to add in an ultimatum because there was some medical involved (anxiety/depression) and possible porn addiction (since deleted and seems done with). If anything the FAP, some therapy and this site just really made me realize what my worth really is and that I was/am doing everything to fix my marriage and relationship. Been very loyal when other women may have had an affair of some sort.
Athol’s comment: “The central theme of MMSL is to get yourself into a position where you’re so valuable as a potential partner, that you no longer are required to tolerate being in a relationship with a crappy partner who refuses to handle their own shit.”
That’s exactly what did it for me. I got fed up. I was fixing my shit and now it was his turn or else I was leaving.
Female desire is reactive, but…
Female desire is reactive… but there are other men out there she can react to.
If a male 6 watches his wife transform from a 6 –> 7 –> 8 and does nothing about fixing his attractiveness and handling his shit, he’ll eventually lose her to another man if she decides to pull the trigger.
Maybe he does shape up / get to the doctor / get a job / stop being an ass…. maybe he won’t.
If he does, great. If not, well she can collect child support and be better placed to find another man.
That should all sound very familar.
If he’s freaked out and going full Beta…
When he goes full-bore Betamax you bring him to MMSL. Then he takes it all seriously because he has a pathway he can learn to walk where she ends up staying with him.
All the husbands brought to MMSL by their wives come freaking out and wanting to go full Beta. Then they learn.
Wives must work on looking hot
She absolutely must run girl game and spend more time at the gym no matter what.
Unless she maximizes her overall attractiveness to men in general, any ultimatum she pulls will be less likely to succeed.
Her hot gym body is her leverage.
If his dick doesn’t work
The ultimatum is you demanding he go to the doctor to get checked out
Stop listening to the men on the forum, they aren’t your husband
A forum wife who has a crappy husband, listening to a forum husband in a sexless marriage, can’t model her MAP on what he wants his wife to do. The problems are different.
It’s always the unhappy spouse that comes to the forum. The unhappy spouse always has to do the same thing – become attractive and strong enough to gain leverage in their own relationship and then if required, force the issue.
Why sexually rejecting totally crappy husbands can be helpful over the long term
It’s not “rejecting him”.
You are making yourself more attractive – improving the quality of the cheese so to speak – and rewarding him when he acts in a positive manner.
“No X until Y” is training him to act in a certain way…. but so is “Yes X even if there’s no Y” training him to act a certain way. It’s just training him to act a different way.
Most of the forum wives doing the “default yes” thing are simply running a variant on a covert contract. “I will X and you will Y” and then because X is given out before Y… Y doesn’t have to happen… so the wife gets pissed off and then can’t help but lower her sexual response to him.
Most women unwittingly ruin the sex as a reward by being so shitty in bed during the sex, that it becomes a form of punishment rather than a reward. Most guys would rather have 12 sexual experiences a year where the girl was really into it, than 120 sexual experiences a year where she lies there disgusted and immobile.
Offer high quality sex for his good behavior.
There’s no X until Y
I mean seriously. Would any of you as a mother walk into a grocery store and hand the kids a bag of candy and say “please be good” and then no matter how bad they were in the grocery store, do the same thing week after week after week?
If you’re a First Officer you’re meant to be able to stand in for the Captain if need be. Get a backbone, have some pride in yourself, have some standards. Stop this Nice Girl crap.
You wouldn’t let a random douchebag screw you, so why do you lower yourself to let the douchebag you live with do it?
Could you ever imagine Jennifer tolerating me being a drunken, unwashed, broke, loser and still fucking me every day? If you can, she wants to talk to you lol. We hold each other to high but not unreasonable standards. I am a better man for her and she’s a better woman for me.
That’s the MMSL model. I’ve been ranting this for over three years. I’m at a loss as to how my message is so distorted on this forum.
Jennifer: Damn straight. That is all.