These Floors Are Dirty As Hell

So I have this thing where for my birthday, I only get one functional and beautiful item. Age 40 I got a toaster, 41 a laundry basket, 42 a bathmat.

I turned 43 like two weeks ago and I’ve been damned if I could figure out what I wanted. So I didn’t ask for anything and thus got nothing. Really… just no idea what I wanted. It’s not like I still get excited by candy or anything. I’m married to Jennifer, so it’s not like I look forward to birthday sex breaking a 137 day drought. What am I really meant to do with a cake other than go to the gym afterwards?

Anyway I’m standing in the kitchen and it hits me. These floors are dirty as hell.

I need a mop.

So whatever your dirty floor is… get to it.


  1. Over It says:

    “So I have this thing where for my birthday, I only get one functional and beautiful item.”

    A beautiful mop? With a special hardwood handle? (pun not intended…)

  2. So many people born in April/May…. Something in the water in July/August?

    Happiest of birthdays to you, Athol. :)

  3. Milf-in-Training says:

    From someone who was a housewife for over 20 years … the Sh-mop is the best design out there. Bona also makes a similar model.

    It’s a flat pad on a swivel handle, with removable covers. You wet the cover, spray cleaner on the floor (any floor cleaner works, not just the brand name) and mop away. The pad is big, so it covers a lot of floor quickly. When you’re done, take off the cover and wash it.

    Probably TMI for Captains, but we First Officers are supposed to know these things.

  4. chimpy says:

    I’ve got my granny’s old mop what I use. It’s had ten new heads and four new handles and it still handles like a dream. Remember what they say: look after your mop.

  5. HBD!

  6. JellyBean says:

    I love my Sh-mop, too! :)

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