One of my most loved and hated posts is the 10 Critical Things In How To Choose A Wife. It’s surreal to think that I wrote it all the way back in March 2010.
I’ve read it over again and there’s still nothing I really have any disagreement with. The post is right. But three years later I think I have some slightly different answers, that are also right, but a slightly different emphasis.
What you look for is loyal, smart and nice.
Loyal, because you aren’t perfect and it’s going to be her loyalty that covers your imperfections. It’s easier to own a mistake and make corrections, when every slip up doesn’t get held against you.
Loyal, because she is not perfect either and her loyalty credits her with a lack of wrong intent. It is easier to forgive when you think they aren’t out to get you.
Smart, because you aren’t perfect and sometimes it’s her input that stops you doing something stupid.
Smart, because you’re going to have to listen to her forever, so she needs to not be an airhead.
Smart, because smart people have learning curves. Marriage is a long time, you’re going to have to learn all sorts of new stuff together.
Nice, because nice doesn’t seem to be something that can be taught. If she is not nice now, she will not become nice later on.
Nice, because… well because it’s nice to be with someone nice.
The combination of loyal and smart, will head a woman into the gym with a positive discipline as long as you’re going as well. She’ll keep her looks and age well.
The combination of loyal and nice, will make her more easily sexually agreeable. Loyal women can start to see you as their personal kink, and nice means she’ll like to please.
The combination of smart and nice, means she’ll be able to do the arguing equivalent of “playing the ball and not the man.”
The combination of loyal, smart and nice, means she’ll also be a good mom for the kids.
I realize that leaves out stuff like “fabulous tits” and “likes anal”. My hunch is that you’re probably already screening for that sort of thing anyway and your penis has given you an informed perspective on such matters regarding your potential bride.
As an all purpose caveat to women… men tend to think of loyalty as a binary decision. I.e. you are either 100% Loyal or your are 0% Loyal. I’m not saying it’s right, or fair, or realistic that they think like that, I’m just saying that’s often how they do. So it can only take a single bad incident to switch their perception of you from 100% Loyal to 0% Loyal. If he sees you as 0% Loyal, he can’t love you.
Even when he’s having concerns about your loyalty, he’s not going to see you as being 50% or “mostly loyal”. He’s going to cycle between feeling you are 100% or 0% Loyal. Which is exhausting for him and makes him flip out and start ”suddenly acting all paranoid for no reason”. He loves you, he loves you not, he loves you, he loves you not.
And by 0% Loyal… I mean he experiences a such sense of stomach churning dread he wants to throw up.
I know of several couples where the husband is having long term difficulties with his wife, but based on her loyalty in the midst of difficulty, have passed up easy divorce options and free pussy from outside the marriage…even if they think their life would be easier and potentially better for splitting. Loyalty matters like nothing else.