Diffuse Energy Sets and Why The MAP Only Does Everything

Something that has stuck me over and over again with MMSL is that it’s way more awesome than I could have ever imagined.

Hang on, I’ve got the ego set to 11 again…

K, got it.

Anyway… what I meant to say was that I started MMSL just thinking I was going to target nothing more than guys with sexless or troubled marriages. Instead I get an endless stream of email and comments from both men and women saying that MMSL has helped with an amazing array of things – better behaved kids, medical conditions finally dealt with by getting into treatment, porn addictions kicked, more money made and weight loss.

I mean seriously, as far as I know MMSL is an amazing weight loss program. I could be fucking Weight Watchers for all the email I get about weight loss results. Yet all I’ve done is tell people to head to the gym and eat better pretty much.

Here’s something from the forum today….

DrBeta:  MrsBeta is 60 days sober today.

She’s in AA and she’s getting another coin.  Actually, she’s going to about 7 meetings a week and she’s reading her books and she’s got a sponsor.

Additionally, she’s lost over 20 lbs.

I’ve eased up on the “apply for jobs” because very recently her “job” has been getting and staying sober.  But just the last two days I’ve seen her a bit at loose ends, and I think it’s probably time to return to the job market.

In any case, the change in her has been tremendous and the sex frequency has been way up.

This has all been a result of the Red Pill, MMSL, and the MAP.  If I hadn’t witnessed this for myself, I’d say it was a miracle.

Athol: How many posts have I written about alcohol abuse? ZERO. All I’ve done on the forum is make it clear that “deal with the drinking or else it’s heading toward being over” is the clear demand/ultimatum that DrBeta’s MAP is driving the bus toward. 60 days is 60 days. Seems to be a good as it’s ever been. How awesome is that!

What I’ve come to see are two important things I’d previously not accounted for in designing the MAP.

(1)  The relationship breaking issue, doesn’t have to be sexual, it can be nearly anything dysfunctional, you just make it the thing you set your sights on targeting. Far more often than not you can make your Phase Four fair warning / Phase Six ultimatum a one sentence statement. “Stop drinking”, “Get a job”, “Get off Facebook and pull your weight”, “No more drugs”, “Make me more important than your mother”, “Quit the gaming”… or whatever it is you really want to say with Blood and Thunder in your voice.

(2)  Everything is connected in sets of energy. I’ve always known that exercise was going to make people feel better and more energetic, but I really just figured the real benefit was looking better and the wifey getting wet about you easier. Nope. It’s way more than that. I’ve seen a endless parade of men and women making one change in their life, then another, then another, then…. something else completely unrelated self-resolves.

What’s happening is that a whole bunch of crappy stuff in your life is loosely connected to each other in a diffuse set. The connections aren’t at all hard, but they are there. So as one element of your life is made positive, it gives a slight pull on the rest of your life to become more positive. Change another thing positive and that pulls toward the positive too, change another and another and… pretty soon… something else completely unrelated flips from negative to positive.

Look I spent the last three years nodding and smiling and saying “that’s nice” when someone reported “Oh yeah, and X happened” in passing, never really thinking much about it. Until I realized every-fucking-body was saying the “oh yeah and X happened” to me in passing. I just never picked it until I realized that whatever the X was didn’t matter. X was a random goody thrown in like the toy in a Happy Meal. It’s like frequent flyer miles or something.

This is why I’m becoming even more fanatical about you just getting started and doing ANYTHING to make your life more positive. Anything is better than just sitting there. Ever been stumped on something, go away and do something else positive and productive and come back and find you aren’t stumped anymore?

So anyway, it’s not a bug it’s a feature. Everything is working as intended. It does everything except grow my hair back.

So buy the damn book and get started on your new life.


  1. Joe_Commenter says:

    You certainly have helped me get more sex with my wife than ever before. Our relationship is better as well. Not because I’ve manipulated her or put something over on her. But because I’m a better man with her, and better at handling females in general. That in turn has helped my career. I could never have expected the career boost that came along w/ being more confident with women.

    Thank you for your work and Congrats Athol. You have every right to be very proud of the number of people you have helped.

  2. Red Pill Saluki says:

    The main problem I have with much of the manosphere is that it has a general attitude of juvenility and self-centeredness. That is distinctly not true here.

    When it comes to marriage, children, and divorce, the self-consciously liberal professions of sociology and psychology have come around to the idea that Marriage 2.0 is bad for families. [Athol doesn’t like that term but it fits so I use it]. Cherlin’s book “The Marriage Go Round” discusses the research.

    Maybe I read into this blog too much, but there seems to be assumptions that men will marry, want to stay married, that wives and (especially) children are cool, that its good for men feel committed to their families, and that, where possible, kids grow up with more than a visitor-dad. Not an unlimited commitment–that would be crazy–rather, an assumption that being the head of your home and having your sh!t together means they are both, to an extent, the man’s responsibility.

    Guys who do this make their lives better as well as those of their family and society. This site has been very helpful to me personally. But the accidental social cause is what makes me like it so much.

  3. 1101doc says:

    Really, guys- just buy the book.
    Wives, LTR partners- if you’re here- buy the book.

    If we want to “save the world”- this is how it begins.

    Buy the damn book. (TM)

    Athol, Jennifer- Thank you. We all profit from your shining example.

  4. It’s true. MMSL not only whitened my teeth, it freshened my breath! AND got those stubborn grass stains out of my laundry.

    Seriously, I’m only in the middle of a long-game MAP but what you say here is TRUE TRUE TRUE.

  5. “Yet all I’ve done is tell people to head to the gym and eat better”

    No, what you’ve done is CONNECT fitness with sexual attractiveness.

    It’s an obvious connection, once you highlight it — fit people are sexier. But your message cuts through the noise. It cuts through the lies and excuses. It tells people (who are looking for a solution to their marital problems) that increasing their attractiveness is the one and only solution to all of their involuntary celibacy problems.

    You’ve taken the focus off of the problem spouse (who is, admittedly, a problem) and put it where it belongs — on yourself.

    All of the blame-assigning and criticisms and fault-finding, even though it may all be 100% justified and then some, amounts to precisely zero when you’re looking for a solution.

    The solution is you.

    Fitness is easy to achieve. It’s not all that complicated. It’s only complicated if you want to go from fit to super-fit. It’s only complicated if you want to compete at a high level. But if you want to be basically fit, even well-above-average fit, it’s obvious and simple — exercise almost daily, eat mostly natural unprocessed foods, and don’t overeat. And lay off the drugs and alcohol. There — that solves the fitness problems for 98% of people.

  6. In Christian circles, we call it choosing life over death. I’m happy for you.

  7. fullyawake says:

    I am the poster child. I just wanted more sex. Now I have dropped 35 lbs and counting. My arms, chest, and thighs are rocks. My business is printing money. My wife started working out and is now training for a 5k. She has dropped 15lbs and on a 5’2′ frame that makes a big difference.

    Oh, and the sex. Actual exchange from yesterday with the teenage progeny-

    Daughter – I can hear ya’ll every time ya’ll “do it”.
    Wife – Every time? And just how often is that?
    Daughter – Once a month.
    Wife – Uh, add ten.
    Daughter and Son with a horrified look and hands over ears – Aauugghhh!!

  8. Turns out that sex is a great motivator. If fishermen got laid like musicians and athletes do, the common tuna would be extinct.

    Guys who aren’t getting laid enough have all kinds of unproductive sinks for their excess sexual energy, like alcohol and video games and self-loathing.

    You take some of that same energy and put it toward self-improvement instead, and it’s no big surprise that you can accomplish a lot beyond just getting laid.

  9. RedPillNewb says:

    The takeaway I got from MMSL was simple. Life: you’re doing it wrong.

    So I had to make a few changes. Biggest change: go for what you want. Yeah, a lot of stuff self-resolves when you figure out what you actually want and try to get it.

  10. thought you’d like this (this photo isn’t me)

  11. I’m a single guy and MMSL was the first book from these parts I read. It was the spark that lit the fire again.

    Masculinity isn’t just about sex…it’s a lifestyle.


  1. […] with Athol’s post about Diffuse Energy Sets and Why The MAP Only Does Everything, I feel fantastic right […]

  2. […] I told y’all the MAP only does everything. […]

Speak Your Mind