When You Get a Yes… Stop Talking

When you negotiate to get something you want from someone, if they agree to grant your wish… STOP TALKING.

Seriously. Just zip your lip. You got them to agree to what you wanted, so stop trying to convince them further that you should get what you want. You already have the yes you want, so all that can happen if you keep talking to them, is you give them a reason to change their mind to a no.

You’ve already closed the deal. Stop yapping. Just let it sit.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re a kid asking to go to a party, an employee asking for a promotion, a wife asking her to husband go to the doctor, a husband asking for sex.  You’re asking for something, they said yes. Don’t hear the yes and then explain that saying yes is a great deal because…

…Mike’s brother was the one that bought all the beer to the party last year and he’s not coming because he’s in jail now. So it’s cool right?

…that’s you’re the only one in the whole agency that can operate the old TPS Machine and the new ones aren’t being delivered for nine months. So you’re valuable right?

…that you’ve been talking to all your girlfriends about Mr. Droopy and they all agree that you really have to see a doctor. So you’re going right?

…that you’re tired of jerking off. In fact you did that just last night to some Japanese Tentacle Porn. But it was only $4.99 for the show, so that’s no problem right?

Right?

Right?

No you can’t go to the party. What the hell happened last year? What did Mike’s brother do to go to jail? Who is Mike anyway?!

No at this point you’re just too valuable working the old TPS machine. There’s just no way we could move you until the new ones arrive.

What do you mean to talked to everyone about that?!  WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO EVERYONE? I DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM, IT’S ONLY BEEN HAPPENING FOR A YEAR.

What’s Japanese Tentacle Porn? Hang on let me Google… huh… ahh. WTF IS THIS SHIT?!?!? OMG!!! YOU PAID MONEY FOR TH…. Bbbbbbrrrrooooghghghhhhh… You sick, sick bastard. Get away from me. NO. NO. NO.

See?

See?

If you get your yes, just stop talking.

Jennifer: Athol gave me the “what has been seen can’t be unseen” warning for Japanese Tentacle Porn. I’m not looking. I’m not looking. I’m not looking… sigh dammit…

…Ohhh FML.

Comments

  1. pdwalker says:

    Jen,

    You mean that you expect this to be among the 30% of things that doesn’t work for you?

    I can’t imagine why.

    sushi!

  2. I didn’t sleep with the first woman I proposed to (we didn’t marry). I’d spent 6 months sedcing her, and then got her to my apartment where she said alright but quick. I heard that as you’ve convinced me to marry you, so I quess I’ve got to sleep with you even though I don’t love you. It felt like I dodged a bullet (my mother married a man she didn’t love, I did not want to go there.) Of course, I later found out that she was willing on the first date.

  3. someguy says:

    WTF is FML?

  4. Random Angeleno says:

    FML = F–k my life

  5. Zelazny says:

    There’s even quite a funny site with these FML moments called http://www.fmylife.com/

    though hanging around there too long either makes you depressed or cynical. But some are a good laugh.

  6. This is a classic sales technique. When you get the “OK”, STOP.

  7. PaleoDad says:

    I absolutely need to heed this advice. I do this shit all the time.

  8. So guilty of not shutting up, like i have to make my point again, just in case…
    And Jennifer, Japanese Tentacle Porn…strangely arousing ?

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