When I started MMSL, I figured that I was going to be besieged by angry feminists demanding my head. Instead I got a smidgen of disgruntled SAMH’s ranting on mommy blogs once in a while. Really, that’s been about it. Even when a lone feminist gets into it in the comments, I’ve typically sat back and watched the female readership of MMSL tear into her saying “we like it, go away”.
Instead 95+% of the nasty stuff in the comments et al have been from men. Usually it’s just grindingly negative whining about how something sucks and/or how I suck in particular. A lot about how I’m not hating women to their desired specifications. Everything is feminism’s fault yada yada yada.
If you go back to when I started posting on Talk About Marriage to now, it’s been four years of writing about ways to fix marriages, restart sex lives and generally keeping men out of divorce court. Families together yada yada yada. That’s four years of writing, answering email, putting my name and private life out there and gambling a career on all this. I’m at somewhere around 900-1000 emails, blog comments and forum messages that MMSL has made a serious difference to men in particular.
….and I’m the jerk that doesn’t care about men?
Look I know I’m just meant to not care about whiny assholes complaining on the blog… but the fact is if I wasn’t somewhat emotionally sensitive and driven, MMSL would have folded up shop long ago. It doesn’t hurt my feelings, there’s no box of tissues in use, but it really does just drain the life out of me and kills all motivation to sit down for another day and help another random male stranger in desperate circumstances via email or the forum. It throws off my groove.
So anyway… I’ve come toward the limits of my tolerance and endurance with this shit. Either stick around and help me help married guys in trouble, or fuck off making so much noise and scaring away the Nice Guys who need the help.
Thus a new commenting policy is born….
If you want to leave some shitty “it all sucks and there’s no solution” or snarky “fuck you” directly at me… that just might throw off my groove…
Marriage is always going to have to be a win-win exchange for both sides of the couple. If you want some sort of lubeless-surprise-anal approach to women, it’s just not going to be here.
TL:DR My groove gets thrown off and it’s hard to write creatively and give my best effort at helping people.