I Had This Idea For A Show

Angeline:  I nominate @RPN to be @Athol_Kay’s first client on his reality TV show, where he installs video cams and dissects the beta fuckups, via earpiece.

Athol Kay is

… AlphaNanny.

Athol:  Actually… I’d take a deeper analysis approach. I don’t care about the Beta screw-ups, I want to get into the history and discover the actual source issues for all this.

It would be more like Law and Order. 

Mona: Yeah, but we all know which show would get higher ratings.

Athol:  Yeah the smart guy one that unearths the elephants and other assorted drama.

It starts off like a cross between Numb3rs and Cheaters, then goes into a cross between Dr Phil and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

Tell me you wouldn’t watch that shit.

So anyway… lets play the imaginary show game. What should my show be like?

Jennifer:  Anything, just as I’m not in it lol!

New Book: The Mindful Attraction Plan

The first thing a current MMSL reader is going to think on looking at the cover is, “Wow that looks just like a Blue Pill fluff book. Did Athol just sell out?”

If that’s what you’re thinking, then the cover looks perfect. It’s a Red Pill book, that looks, feels and sounds like it’s Blue Pill. The overall arc of the content is Red Pill, but I just don’t announce it with trumpets and sounding pissed off at the world. There’s no rage moments, it’s not scary, it’s relaxed even. It just quietly trickles little nuggets out along the way. It’s about as close as to making the Red Pill taste like strawberries as anyone will ever get. By the time you get to the push comes to shove part of the book, it seems utterly reasonable from even a Blue Pill perspective.

Your next thought is going to be, “Hey… Mindful Attraction Plan = MAP. What happened to the MAP?”

The short answer to that it’s a way of rebranding slightly, without throwing away the MAP acronym. The longer answer involves trademark concerns and some market positioning decisions. Overall though, the Male Action Plan principles are basically unchanged in the Mindful Attraction Plan. That being said, The Mindful Attraction Plan is amazingly focused on showing you exactly how to run your MAP.

The first part of the book is a very clear description of exactly how you become more attractive as fast as possible. I cover six areas of development you need to focus on – (1) Physical Fitness and Health, (2) Money and Material Possessions, (3) Displays of High Value, (4) Building Relationship Comfort, (5) Personality and Preferences, (6) High-Energy Sex. Within each area there’s a traffic light color coded system for things you need to do. Red = Stop It, Yellow = Fix It, Green = Do It. There’s no confusion about what you should be doing to improve your attractiveness and I even cover the exact order of importance your addressing things needs to follow. The (1) to (6) order is very important for example.

The second part of the book is about taking your new attraction and leveraging that into getting what you want. You guys will of course recognize the Phases of the MAP from the Primer, but that was just a single chapter in the Primer… this is the entire eleven chapters of the second half of the book. It’s clearer, more consistent and far more seasoned in its approach and expectations. So even if the book starts off feeling light, it slowly moves to a hard edged frame that you’ll be willing to take it to an ultimatum and not flinch about it if you have to.

It’s a really, really good book. If you have some Nice Guy friend trapped in a awful relationship, this is the book that will give them hope that a positive change is both possible and reasonable.

In comparison to the Primer, The Mindful Attraction Plan as a direct focus on how to run the MAP, is always polite, explains the connections between attraction building in all areas of your life, written for both a male and female audience, expands the MAP principles to employer and social group situations, and is simple to understand and get started. Also very importantly, it’s something you can openly read without fear your spouse is going to start flipping out on you for “reading some stupid sex book and trying to control me”. It’s a cooperative approach.

In terms of content, there’s about a 20% overlap between this book and The Primer. The Primer is by no means a waste of money or pointless to read now. The Mindful Attraction Plan content has also not appeared on the blog and isn’t “reused blog posts”. It’s all written from scratch.

And table of contents and back cover to see as well.

Anyway… the call to action…

I’ve just pushed the buttons on Createspace, so it’s a few days until you’ll see it appearing on Amazon and the release date is 7/4/13 for print ($16.99) and Kindle ($9.99) and it’s 196 pages as a 6″x9″. Woo-hoo! Independence Day!

However, if you have $50 and want a signed copy early, email me at athol.kay@gmail.com. (United States addresses only please) I’m only doing this for fifty copies though. I’m crazy busy with other secret stuff and Jennifer seriously hates standing in line at the post office.

The Great Material Continuum

Continuing on from yesterday’s cliffhanger…

In the movie version of my life, the last four years would look like a five minute cut scene of me making Ironman suits. Stirring music and me all slick, shiny and flying about yelling “Woo-Hoo!”. Instead it’s been way more like playing the role of Chief O’Brien…


April 8th I threw away everything I had written to date and started from scratch.

Everything just feel into place. The entire four years worth of crap suddenly meaningful as a dozen dark clouds decided to dump the silver linings on me en mass.

Simple. Light. Clean. Fresh. The easiest writing I think I’ve ever done.

Final pushing and it’s 417am, but I’ve finished editing the book. Have a cover. Just got the uploading to Createspace and Kindle to get done and planning a 7/4/13 release date. I’ll tell y’all more about it tomorrow… Oh I guess I mean later today. I’m so sleepy.

Author and book are doing well.

How The MMSL Sausage is Made

I tried to break from nursing in 2006 go into real estate sales. You can match the exact hour the bottom fell out of the housing market to getting my real estate license printed. Maybe it’s my ego talking here, but I’m pretty sure the housing crash was my fault.

I tried way too hard and too long. We basically lost our entire nest egg trying to make a go of real estate.

I went back to nursing in 2008.

By late 2009 it becomes apparent that the lack of pay raises from our non-profit jobs and increase in fuel / heating oil is slowly taking us down and we need either to bail on the house, or we need 10-12k increased income a year.

Also by late 2009 it’s become apparent that I have the prototype ideas for MMSL and they seem potentially marketable. Jennifer and I have a long talk about it, it’s going to be on my real name. I’m out of ideas for how else we can get ahead. This seems like it. Jennifer agrees.

Jan 2010 I start the MMSL blog, the goal being to write the blog, turn it into a book and make MMSL my “part-time job” hopefully making that 10-12k a year. We’re still drifting backwards into debt though. Hopefully the Blog to Book approach turns into a Book to Expert jump as well. Expert gets the big payoff… eventually.

In mid 2010 we cashed out my quite moderate 401k to pay down credit cards and have money to promote the then to be written Primer. In August 2010 we spent a fair amount of that cash to say goodbye to dad in New Zealand. He died in November 2010. I wasn’t a happy camper then.

2010 winter was beyond horrible with oil heat and record snow. Furnace broke. Both cars needed $1000 repairs. We can’t pay the mortgage by Feb 2011.

Defer the taxes and publish the Primer end of March 2011 with literally no money for anything other than uploading the book. That’s why the cover looks like it does.

Get offered national media attention due to a viral post about Jennifer and I having sex nearly every day of our marriage. Inside Edition calls, we get interviewed and are on national television. We are now 100% public and basically outed in real life to any and all friends and family… and our jobs as well. We get dragged to Human Resources for being dangerously monogamous or something. The blog gets an extra 800 hits, no sales spike. Inside Edition was pointless. Fuck.

At least the the Primer income keeps us afloat all 2011. I think I get to actually spend my first “book money” for something fun around Thanksgiving 2011.

Primer keeps selling, by March 2012 I’m basically exhausted from working nursing full time and answering 2-4 hours of email a day for MMSL. Put my notice in. Done with nursing in May 2012.

Try writing revised Primer. Bleh. Have an outline, but really just feels like moving everything around rather than “better”. I give up trying to write the Primer second edition.

State of Connecticut says I can’t do MMSL stuff as coaching as it is too close to marriage counseling. Ugh. Start the MMSL forum instead… see where that goes.

Try writing revised Primer second attempt. Bleh bleh bleh. Just shuffling things around rather than improving them. Give up again.

Primer still selling reasonably well. Have a seminar retreat weekend for the Army. Goes fairly well, but endless drama before the weekend getting books printed for the weekend. Endless drama getting paid after the weekend. Final summary, about six weeks work prepping for weekend, final summary made about $2000 after expenses. Army funding change, no further interest in more retreats.

Make third attempt to revise Primer, hate it. I get about 20% into writing it and just feel overwhelmed with dread, depression and darkness. It’s good writing, but… still meh.

Hatch plan for little “Red Pill Rule Book”, make great progress and get to 95% complete. Put on hold due to interest from third party in turning everything into a partnership and bringing everything to market as a seminar empire. I have intellectual capital, they have financial capital and prior experience in training industry. Needs a new Primer revision to base everything off. Okay. Doing it. We’re on our way finally. Jennifer stops being “supportive wife” and becomes “believing wife”, a subtle but important change.

Running the forum slowly sucking the life force from me. It’s meant to suck up all the email contact I was trying to handle, but never quite becomes something I can step away from without running off the rails.

Dec 2012 – Feb 2013 making some progress on bringing revised Primer content… the fourth attempt at it. Insights from the forum are useful. Fly to California for meet and greet with potential partner. All going well. All going well. All going… silence… dread… fuck. Partner reports his wife will likely become screaming banshee and destroy everything publicly. I’m out. About as mutual and sad of a parting of the ways as anyone could expect. Truly.

I ask Jennifer to be CEO of whatever it is I do. Her Pepper Potts, me Tony Stark. She accepts. We brainstorm new approach. Go time.

March 2013. I start writing the Primer revision for now the fifth time. BEAST MODE ACTIVATED. I’ve got everything now. This is a true Primer revision. It’s like the old Primer, just better laid out, more insight, fixing everything. Stronger, harder, richer, funny as hell and darker. Much darker. It’s truthful, but brutal as a runaway combine harvester. I have 80 pages of perfect pain written… and I can’t write anything more. It just feels so… wrong.

April 8th 2013 I throw them all away…

Jennifer:  That has a sense of doom to it.

Athol:  Oh. It’s meant to be a cliffhanger.

Jennifer: You kinda suck sometimes you know that right?

Athol:  I’m adorable though.

Jennifer:  /sigh  Dammit.


Fuck You and Fuck Your Elbow

So anyway… about two and a half months ago in the gym, I broke my personal record on the evil Leg Press machine. I had a light jabbing pain inside my head though, up high, toward the back on the right hand side.

No problem.

My next leg day, I added another 10 pounds to my personal record. I also had a medium jabbing pain inside my head, up high, toward the back on the right hand side.

No problem.

The next leg day, I added another 10 pounds to my personal record. I also had a bad jabbing pain inside my head… guess where… yeah…  up high, toward the back on the right hand side.

Okay fuck, that’s not right.

So I stopped. That’s about it. I never passed out, never had headaches, no vision issues, felt completely fine otherwise. I’ve just got zero interest in popping something in my head and spending the rest of my life drooling and only smiling when Jennifer comes to visit me in the nursing home.

So I did a fair bit of cardio for a while, skipped some days and I was pretty sick with an allergies + sinus + almost pneumonia thing there for a couple weeks too.

Anyway, first true leg day for a while. It went okay. I’ve lost a little strength, but not that much. I’ve also started doing this thing where after working out I go home and add up the total weight I’ve lifted, as in 100lbs x 10 reps = 1000lbs. I always knew leg day was heavier than arm day, but the total weight lifted is about 60-70% more for me. Leg day is brutal.

So I guess all I’m saying is take it all the way up to Fuck You and Fuck Your Elbow, then peg it back just a notch or two. You still have to push it, but you don’t have to break yourself to be a man. The goal is to feel good, not feel bad.

Oh and the counting the total weight thing. Just have to beat the last total weight lifted by 1%. That’s it. I figure the goal might as well be something positive than thinking about getting injured as the gold standard of being committed. Just 1% better. That’s it.


Athol:  And no I wasn’t dying. I just wanted to use the video lol.