Okay…. lets assume your relationship is basically good, but you’ve made a misstep with a mate guarding fail. You know it, she knows it. You know she knows it and she knows, you know it. And… well… let’s just say it’s obvious.
And no sex happened, clothes all stayed on, it’s just one of the those things where “nothing happened”, but your stomach feels like you swallowed four lemons and a giant bag of Pop Rocks. That’s your sign that mate guarding should have happened.
So nothing happened, but you still have to address it somehow though. You can’t simply let it just slide.
Here’s the big picture concern.
Right now your relationship is GOOD. Let’s say that you’re at the 90 mark out of 100. A really good relationship.
But relationships also have momentum. What’s happening now is that a small negative event has happened. You failed to mate guard, some dude got isolated face time with her, or you stood around doing nothing while he hit on her in front of you.
As a result your relationship dropped from a 90 to 87. Which is still a GOOD relationship. But the momentum has started DOWN.
If this situation keeps going on unchecked, you’re going to get a slow but stead string of small negative events, -1, -2, -1, -2, -1, -3…. yada yada yada. There’s another isolation event with Mr. Studly, there’s a mildly naughty text, there’s playful looking over, come out to the club…. yada yada yada.
Then one day a few months down the line, your relationship is DOWN to a 47 and Mr.Studly has worked himself UP to a 54. Then things start getting really awkward.
Would your wife cheat on you today? NO. No way in hell. Because your relationship is GOOD. But left unchecked, your relationship will continue it’s downward momentum.
So it sounds like I’m over reacting here, but I take downward relationship momentum *very* seriously. In fact I’d almost be more comfortable learning your relationship was at 20 and heading up to 25, rather than 90 dropping to 87. The relationship momentum will tend to hold in both cases.
If it all gets nipped in the bud *now*, you’ll save each other an amazing degree of pain and grief.
So even in a GOOD relationship, with a GOOD wife, you still have to pay attention and be willing to step in and say something when a line is crossed. Either to her, or him, or both. That’s how your relationship stays GOOD.
And of course the same applies the other way around…