Prayer-in-Action Beats Prayer-in-Talk

Asked in the Faith and Spirituality section of the forum…

@European_Bob:  As I’ve been progressing through the MAP one of the key points that I’ve found for men is to not let your wife’s mood have an influence on your’s. i.e. if she is complaining then stay aloof and happy. Another aspect is OI – if she doesn’t want to have sex then I’m still fine, I can go off and do <manly thing> instead. Follow this train of thought through, it appears that one of the goals of the MAP is to become self-sufficient, not reliant on your wife or anything else for what you need and/or want in life.

That however seems to be in contradiction to the whole Christian perspective of being reliant or dependent on God. Personally I’m not sure I even understand 100% what it means to rely on God.

How do these seemingly 180 degree opposite positions work together?

Athol:  I admit I do start to get frustrated with the constant attempts to make MMSL a perfectly Christian thing. There’s a lot of overlap that I think Christians can identify with,  but I’m just as close to Christianity as say Buddhism. You could make a case that running your MAP is a close cousin to the Noble Eightfold Path. There’s a Kiwi twist on a Taoist symbol on the front cover of The Mindful Attraction Plan.  Outcome Independence is classic mindfulness… be here now… oh hang on, let me cue up Yoda…

Yoda:  Ready are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained. A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away… to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless.

So as you can see I’m not exactly dipping my pen in one ink well. MMSL is a multi-layered synthesis and there is still more to come from me.

All that being said… let me try and answer the original question and really, I’m not trying to piss Christians off here. I’m trying to motivate you to get into action and do something about what ails you. That’s all. The world is going to hell in a hand basket. We are so far beyond needing to just save the marriages of our own little sects and corners of the world.  We save every relationship we can. We’re running out of time to turn the tide.

/rant on

The MAP isn’t about self-sufficiency in the sense of not needing people, it’s about creating personal value that other people want to be associated with. If anything it’s acutely aware of people needing other people and works to ensure you’re in a state of attractiveness to be loved and wanted.

It is self-sufficient in the sense that it is aware that no one is going to just gift you with a happy life and relationship, so you have to create those conditions for yourself.

Because MMSL focuses on what you can actually do for yourself under your own steam, it is in one sense in direct opposition to a faith-based approach to personal development.

Also when you consider that God isn’t required to answer your prayers the way you want him to, you should also consider the need to be outcome independent on getting God’s help if you’re a Christian. I mean if he thinks you need to learn something through suffering, it might be several years or even decades before your situation is resolved the way you hope it will be.

Prayer is more often than not a verbalized negative statement to the effect that you cannot do something. It’s a negative energy statement that you are powerless to create the change you want. That without some outside force, you will fall, fail and falter.

Well I say bullshit.

You damn well can do this stuff. It just works. It works for the same reason powered flight does not require angels to lift a 747 off the ground. It works because God’s assistance is not required.

When you stop waiting on God to provide and support you, and you just get into action and start making changes in your life…that’s when changes start happening.

There is unquestionably a spiritual component to what I teach, unstated in the Married Man Sex Life Primer but stated clearly in The Mindful Attraction Plan . Namely that your actions are your true statement of faith and that they influence the universe around you in positive or negative ways. I believe spirituality is seamlessly interwoven with the mundane tasks of everyday life. Trying to separate activities into “spiritual” and “non-spiritual” categories is misunderstanding the nature of the universe. I believe you create a greater sense of positive spirituality by building a deck, helping a friend, cleaning a room or working your job, than you ever will in prayer. Prayer-in-action will always be better than prayer-in-talk.

In fact more often than not, your prayers worsen your situation because they are negative in tone. Faithless prayers are a negative energy effect. You don’t actually have faith things can be better when you complain to God about your life.

If you had faith God can help your life, you’d just walk out your front door and start living your life like you had God’s help. You don’t have to keep praying like you’re feeding God’s parking meter or your spirituality will expire.

God is not sending a limo to drive you to the gym. Some shit you have to handle yourself.

/rant off

 

And tomorrow we’re talking about Jennifer’s amazing thighs.

Jennifer: ???

Negative Energy Means You Struggle to Visualize a Positive Outcome

I’m starting to see a pattern over and over again.

When you have a low energy couple, typically there’s some sort of mutual dysfunction happening. He’s got some major issue that’s unresolved and she’s got a major unresolved issue.  Those two dysfunctions are enmeshed in each other in a Vampire and Victim dance.

But even though there are negative things happening, the way the couple relates to each other is stable.

The relationship sucks, but it sucks in a very predictable, routine and reassuringly same way. When the couple fights or disagrees, it’s almost as if they are pulling scripts out and doing a play together. First he says this, then she says that, then he gets mad, then she cries, then he slams a door and marches out, then she calls her sister and her sister tells her to leave and she agrees she should leave, but then she cooks dinner and he comes back and he says the food was good and they look at each other and disappear into the bedroom while the kids roll their eyes and announce they can’t wait to turn 18 and get the hell out of here.

Same shit, different day.

Then one of them stumbles onto MMSL and the MAP and the light bulbs start going off inside their heads.

It can be different. It can change. It can be better.

But then the questions come….

But what if it really works?

What if I really change and get better. Will I still want to be with her? Or if she really gets better, will she still want to be with me?

What if we both run the MAP and become stronger better people… and the only thing holding us together was our problems? What happens if we break up because of the MAP working?

Here’s what I’ve been saying to that line of questioning.

When you have a crappy relationship, you always have a low energy / negative energy mood and mindset. One of the symptoms of that mindset, is that you cannot visualize how a positive relationship between the two of you can be. You can kinda visualize getting better as an individual and you can usually visualize your partner getting better…. but the combination of the two and how the pattern of interaction between you will be, always seems to slip out of reach when you think about it.

When you have a negative mindset, when you start to imagine the future turning out good…. you tend to bring it back into alignment with your current negative mindset and blow the future up. I.e., we both become better, stronger, happier people and then we divorce each other in a firestorm of emotional carnage.

Well….

….that hasn’t happened to anyone yet.

What I have seen happen is couples saying, “I couldn’t have imagined how good this is right now”. Or saying they could imagine about half of what was good about their relationship, but there are entire other unexpected areas that suddenly blossomed for them.

It’s a little like climbing a mountain with low lying clouds. You can’t see the summit because the clouds block your view. It’s only when you just keep climbing, just keep climbing and climbing, when suddenly you’re above the clouds and the sun is shining and you can see forever. It’s always a bright sunny day on planet earth, it’s just a question of having enough elevation.

You both run the MAP. You both make huge advances. You both get hotter.

It will be fine.

You have no idea how good it can get.

And if you want fast track to better… there’s always the 12-Week Guided MAP.

 

 

What are Your Three Monkeys?

Ages ago my dad told me a story of one of the other executives in his office, who had a peculiar method of dealing with the problems of his department. Outside his office door was a small shelf and on that shelf were Three Monkeys. The traditional hear-no-evil, see-no-evil and speak-no-evil trio. I believe they were plush toys of some description.

When an underling was reporting a problem to the executive, they had to pick up one of the monkeys and take it into the office with them while they presented the problem. If the executive accepted the problem as something he was going to work on… he kept the monkey on his desk.

Which left just two monkeys sitting on the shelf outside his office. When he accepted a second problem, there would be just one monkey. After a third problem was accepted, the shelf would be empty of monkeys.

No monkeys meant underlings weren’t to bother him as he was already busy and a fourth problem would reduce his problem solving effectiveness. So in all likelihood, bringing a fourth problem to him would simply result in the fourth problem taking longer to solve. The rationale being simple – people can only work effectively on changing about three things at once.

As a problem was solved, the associated monkey would return to the shelf outside his office. This was the signal for the availability for a new problem.

I tell this story because it’s one of the first concepts I tell my 12-Week Guided MAP coaching clients. Part of that process is identifying twenty-four different things to work on and improve over the 12-week period. The twenty-four things to do come from four things in each of the six spheres from the new book: Physical, Money, Displays of High Value, Relationship Comfort, Personality and Sexuality. I rank them all in a priority list. I could explain how I prioritize the list, but it’s rather arcane and the description resembles a recitation of Vogon poetry.

So far everyone’s eyes bug out at the mother of all to-do lists I create. Except each week, we’re just going to work on three things starting at the top of the priority list. As something gets mastered / completed, we cross it off the list and add a new monkey.

This overwhelming sense of “there’s too much to do in my MAP” is I think very common. If you’re in a sucky place in your life, with multiple large problems, it’s easy to just give up and not try fixing any of them. But if you can narrow it down to just three things you need to get done it’s more manageable. You can even forgive yourself some failures on things that haven’t made the Three Monkeys status yet. Sure you’re going to clean the spare room out and get to a dental appointment, the kids are still running wild… but this week your Three Monkeys are joining a gym, creating a budget and getting a plumber to come fix that mysterious water problem. So don’t freak out about how bad things are, or how crappy you feel. Just trust the process that fixing anything is better than doing nothing. It’s going to get better.

So leave a comment…

If you only have to do just three things to make your life a little better this week…

What are your Three Monkeys?

Female Proximal Placement Means She’s Waiting For You to Make a Move

Husbands constantly miss the signs of their wives wanting sex. Sometimes all they do is put themselves in a proximal position to you and wait for you to make a move.

Let me say that again. Proximal placement means she’s waiting for you to make a move. Let’s start with outside the bedroom first though.

If it was say in a bar / club / social gathering / church / picking your kids up from school… and a woman intentionally positions herself near to you (especially if she does it on multiple occasions) and then looks like she’s waiting for a bus… the bus she’s waiting for is you. Make a move, say hi, she’s already interested. If she thought you were creepy, she wouldn’t position herself right next to you.

Submissive women do this all the time. They simply place themselves in a position where you have the opportunity to make something happen. If you don’t make a move, you miss out. That’s about all there is to it.

My first serious girlfriend did exactly that routine for about two weeks before I understood what was going on. She just started sitting near me in the library at college. After about two weeks of “hey that pretty girl is around a lot”, I finally asked her out. Of course back in the day that was a stomach churning moment, but looking back it was a total slam dunk. In fact she’d pretty much run a stakeout until I made a move. Duh.

Okay bedroom…

The kids are all out of the house all day at Connecticon, which is the big geek convention in Hartford each year. Crazy good costuming, sci-fi, comic books and aging Star Trek actors whoring themselves for rent money. Every year Jennifer and I say we’re going to do something fun without the children, but every time we just slump into exhaustion and nap. We’re like middle aged or something.

Anyway the living room is in “Sleepover Disarray” (TM) and rather than try and clean up the living room three days straight, we just let them make a mess and clean up once. The important point is that the living room floor is covered in mattresses. I trust you see where this is going.

So I’m halfway napping on one of the mattresses and Jennifer is on the sofa adjacent to me. At some point, her leg slides off the sofa and she places her foot lightly against the side of my leg and nudges it ever so slightly.

That’s it.

That’s all there is to it. That’s Jennifer initiating sex.

Placing herself proximal and waiting.

It’s easy to miss.

After that I massaged her calf a little. I’m not sure the exact order of events from here, but somehow Jennifer managed to slither off the sofa and get down on the mattress with me. Whereupon she ended up with her eyes closed, lying on her side, faux sleeping while I rubbed her back while she softly purred.  Back rub turns into ass rub, results in snuggling into me and smiling. So I said the three magic words every woman wants to hear.

“I’m gonna pee.”

After I peed, I came back ready for action, we threw the official “fucking in the living room blanket” down on one of the mattresses, and I took her to Poundtown; population two.

So there you go. If she’s hanging around and not making any obvious “no” signals, just assume it’s a yes and make a move. Women don’t isolate themselves with you unless they are into you.

Coaching Finally Available

One of the purposes of The Mindful Attraction Plan book was to widen the scope of what I write about to a whole life perspective. Which then is a platform to allow me to advise from a whole life perspective…

…which is a way to say we’re finally in the position to do coaching services.

There’s still some odds and ends to add to the website, but for now I’d like to get started. The website is http://mindfulattractionplan.com/

The intent is that the MMSL blog and forum continue to roll on into the future as they have been. By adding the coaching as a separate website it helps keep it distinct as a service.

Behind the scenes, it’s also been a very interesting time for us. The publication of The Mindful Attraction Plan has been extremely clarifying for me as a writer about what works and doesn’t. It’s also been a major income bump… though it’s hard to know exactly where sales will go, but all in all it’s doing moderately better than the Primer and the Primer hasn’t dropped in sales. So assuming it holds, I just doubled my income. Which is both awesome and mildly freaky.

Added onto that, we’re starting the coaching practice. Yes I said we. It’s an LLC and Jennifer and I partners. She’s far more business connected than I am and has been invaluable. Assuming the life coaching takes off and can expand to multiple coaches, she’s the first on the list for the job. In all seriousness she deserves it and would be good at it. What she’s doing for work now (it’s a small field, but she’s endlessly #1 in Connecticut for her job) isn’t that dissimilar.

So…

MMSL = Athol as an author.

MAP Coaching = Athol + Jennifer LLC

So anyway, what it sums out to is that I just signed another legally binding agreement with my wife. It’s the first one I’ve signed since turning on to the Red Pill et al. It’s a different experience. I expected some sort of “moment” doing it, but in all honesty it was anti-climatic and rather peaceful.

I think it’s called trust.

I trust my wife.

That’s a precious thing.

Anyway… go buy some coaching!  http://www.mindfulattractionplan.com

Relationship Power vs Give and Take

@ernestern:  From my interpretations of the MAP, it is basically an exercise to put you in a situation where you are giving less to a relationship and taking more out of it.  In a perfect MAP, it would balance out to a point you are putting in as much as you are taking out, leaving both parties happy.

Athol:  Close, but not quite right. There’s two elements here you’re merging into a single thought. Let me separate them so you see the process better.

(1) Power. The MAP is about putting yourself in a situation where you no longer need your partner. So you aren’t weak toward them.

For example, I could if I liked, dump Jennifer and basically walk right now. I’d find someone new relatively quickly and my life would continue on. She could try the same thing… and it’s not going to go quite as well for her as it would for me. I don’t mean that to sound full of myself, it’s just how the Sexual Marketplace is slanted in women’s favor for the young and men’s favor for the older.

The takeaway is that in relationship terms, I have power over her and thus control the relationship.

(2) Give and Take. The MAP is about finding ways to balance out the give and take so both people in the relationship are getting what they want and need from it.

So for Jennifer and myself, we do have a fairly balanced relationship in terms of what we do for each other day-to-day. We both love and care for each other. I make more money than she does, but she also helps me with elements of that. The books are mine, but I share the income. I’m on her medical insurance. We’re really rather enmeshed in give and take.

So in a sense it’s like I’m the United States and Jennifer is Canada. I’m bigger and more powerful, but it’s not like I’m coming across the border with tanks, or even threatening to. Though I guess Canadians might see that arrangement differently.

Anyway…

So my demand, as the person in power, is that we have a good relationship and fairly and reasonably give and take with each other.

So from Jennifer’s perspective, that’s a good deal. Her main concern is that I’m not going to suddenly end the deal on her. It’s really not like I have to run some horrible dread game on her either, MMSL has been an education and she sees what’s out there. I also display loyalty and she’s involved increasingly behind the scenes with MMSL.

That being said…

When your partner is the person in power and being exploitive, your mission is to balance out the power, or take active control by trumping their power. Part of that process may very well involve refusal to give what they want in order to establish you are capable of such things, but it’s part of the process toward an end goal of a fairly balanced relationship.

Unfortunately, sometimes your partner is simply uninterested in any relationship with you unless they can endlessly siphon your time, money, effort and energy. Whereupon, you have to either leave or remain being their victim.

 If you’re the weaker partner in a relationship, you don’t have to worry about gaining power as long as the stronger partner is treating you fairly. I personally don’t want Jennifer feeling endless rolling stomach churning dread that I *might* leave her for example. That just gets me a freaked out wife for no gain to me.

That being said, if you’re the weaker partner… you are advised to not fall *that* far behind your partner.

If you want to read a whole lot more along those lines, The Mindful Attraction Plan book is the place to start.

Mindful Attraction Plan Review

Transparent 3Dcover for website ad

Natural Life Wife….

The book itself reads more like the life manual you *SHOULD* have gotten passed down to you verbally from your dad growing up. Unfortunately, many of us either didn’t have dads around or if we did, they lacked the know how and street smarts to explain all this to us:/ Maybe give your dad a copy himself- and one for your mom while you’re at it! It’s not that the advice is so outrageously revolutionary but that it’s so rare in this world of ours so lacking in common sense. You know you probably should have focused more on tangible job skills in college rather than just majoring for fun in a basically purely liberal arts field, but seeing it in black and white drives it home. You know you should get in shape and keep up a regular work out schedule but having it explained how that affects the other aspects of your life make it clear it’s a “must do” not just something that would be *nice* to do. You know you should get your finances in order but realizing that it’s limiting you in so many ways really makes it more urgent.

I’m still figuring out how exactly I want to set up my MAP beyond doing the basics of trying to get my act together and working out regularly so I have energy and health to better my life and marriage. I hate to say it but there’s a lot to work on:( However this plan is laid out pretty plainly- I can zero in on the worst areas first. I can say if this or well any of Athol’s writings had been around back in my teens, my life today would be much different. My 30?s, which are coming up in a few years, would be much less scary too! I’m hoping to see significant improvement by then.

 

 

Women Wear Money as a Display of High Value

@Angela:  What does everyone think about a woman letting her hair go gray at 50? I am toying with the idea. Can this be sexy, or am I completely ruining my Sex Rank? Can’t get any opinion from my husband, I don’t know whether he doesn’t care, or what.

Athol:  Whatever it is you chose, just make it look like money was involved in it’s production.
<insert many pics of doggystyle approved older chicks with gray hair>
@Maria:  One shouldn’t forget though, that grey hair as shown in the pics above, is NOT natural. Only very few women are so lucky to have shiny, all over grey hair; most of the time it’s mottled. So all that glamorous grey hair comes out of a bottle, too. It’s actually the most high-maintenance hair color after platinum blonde.

Athol: There’s obviously things like cut and design et al for hair and clothes, but the Display of High Value for women is to be effectively “wearing money”.

@Angela:  Thanks for all the input. I went to the hair salon this morning, the long, grey roots are gone, my hair is a nice rich auburn and I feel 15 years younger. I didn’t realize how much I was hating the gray experiment till it was over.

@x1134x:  Grey hair is not near the DLV that SHORT HAIR is.  At any age. Whatever you do, don’t cut it short.
Dye as long as you can do it and it still looks natural.  If you have wrinkled face skin from age, and a young, youthful head of hair, it looks off.

@Geekengineer:  Agree x eleventy bazillion.

A couple ladies at my office recently went from “actual upper-40s with long hair” to “actual upper-40s looking like a sad 60 year old grandma with no style” overnight by chopping it off to the poofball look. One had very grey hair that ended up getting colored black (looks terrible), the other had 1/2 grey that she colored dog-poop brown (looks… well, you know).

Athol:  So there you go. Keep your hair long. Keep it looking intentional. Keep it looking like some guy shells out cash in your direction.

That’s your Display of High Value for today.

Often the Hamster is Just Filibustering.

Athol:  I thought this comment on Age Gaps are a Relationship Stress warranted it’s own post. Pay careful attention to the fact that he clearly wants the relationship to work, but there’s this underlying structural effect making it harder going than it might otherwise be. Also she appears to have genuinely helped and invested in him, so that contribution acts as something he counts as a credit in her favor.

ToyBoy:  Well… that’s … ugh…

That’s hit a couple of things on the head for me, and I don’t like it.

I’ve historically been something of a manosphere lurker – but I’ve been away for a long time.  The last few days I’ve had a heavy hankering to come and re-motivate my self improvement side (I’ve gotten a little static recently) by digging through the archives, hence my commenting on such an old post.

I’m the younger man you described in that post: 7 year age gap, though I’m in my late 20s and she in her mid 30s.  We got together a couple of years ago, and at that point I was a bit of a psychological mess: quite depressed, effectively an alcoholic, little motivation, not very good with women (though improving as a result of the red pill)…

And my partner has been incredibly helpful and supportive, and has massively contributed towards me sorting myself out.  I’m much healthier – physically and mentally – and I’ve embarked on some major career moves (starting up my own company, going back into postgrad education etc).  I’m also finally sorting out some long-needed aesthetic improvements (eg, my teeth were ruined as a result of my depressions and drinking – I’m now in the midst of straightening, whitening, capping etc).

And recently the loyalty tests have started.  It’s in a jokey way, but several times in the last month or two she’s commented that she’s excited to see my ‘new smile’, but that she hopes I don’t then use it to leave her for a younger model.

And over this same period I’ve really noticed that my sex rank is higher than I thought it was when we got together.

NOW, here’s the very important thing: I love this woman, and I want us to remain together.  I really really do.  I have no intention of cheating on her.  I’ve recently moved in with her, and I love it.  We have a very healthy and happy relationship, and the sex life is pretty good (the only slight issue is that we’re both very busy, so tend to be a bit knackered at the end of the day, so sometimes we have to wait – *gasp* – a week or so).  I genuinely want to stay with her forever.

However, I worry about my biological imperative and the future.  My sex rank has improved over the last few years, definitely.  And I’m just now getting into the late 20s / early 30s peak that I read so much about.  And I’m improving my fitness.  And my career is taking off.  And I’m noticing more and more that I get positive attention from younger women, and that I like it.

And she is in her mid 30s, and struggles with her figure.  She’s not fat, but she’s not thin either, and once the weight is on it is unlikely to come off.  And I know that that is effecting my attraction to her already.

Example: last night I was at an event without her, where there were several early-to-mid 20s women, and it really struck me how strong their sex appeal was: the beauty of their faces, and the shape of their bodies, and how just by their existing I wanted to talk to them, to impress them, to have them like me…  and later in the evening, I’m sat in up bed with my partner, and I’m looking at a slightly less tight figure, and a slightly older face, and there’s a roll of fat, and the simple truth is that she doesn’t inspire the same automatic desire…

I’m not a fool.  I know that’s going to happen with ANYONE you have an LTR with, and how the male libido seeks variety.  BUT – I don’t like that I’m already feeling this, knowing it’s likely to get more pronounced over the next few years and beyond.

I’m not sure what the point of my comment is – probably just a chance for me to get some of that off my chest.  I find it an odd position to be in: I want this relationship to last – really, it’s bloody fantastic.  And the age gap doesn’t cause any problems that wouldn’t exist in another relationship, but perhaps it magnifies one.

A final thought: like I said, I wasn’t very good with women and probably underestimated my sex rank.  So I’ve not had much experience beyond drunk one night stands and crappy proto-relationships before this.  And there is a part of me – a part I am REALLY not proud of – that sort of resents the possibility of not properly experiencing being with some young women at some point.  Call it my inner PUA: there is a very real part of me that wants to sleep around with a variety of young women, and it’s never done it… that is the dangerous impulse.  That’s the one I have to keep down.  But it seems like more and more it’s waking up.    That worries me.  I don’t want this relationship to go sour.  And if it does I don’t want the reason to be me being horny.  But it’s always going to be there…

Gah.

Athol: So TL:DR…  Body Agenda says leave, his Literate (Higher) Self says stay. The Hamster is filibustering.

I don’t mean that to sound like I’m making fun of him. This is an all too common issue I see. Truly every single time I see a younger man / older woman pairing come to the forum, I groan knowing how hard things will be to fix and hold together.

Awkward.

Cooking Game: Scrambled Eggs

Scrambled Eggs . Easy breakfast, quick to cook, uses leftovers, lots of protein, tasty. Let’s get started.

Here’s the formula….

Eggs + splash of milk + sprinkle of salt = The Glue Holding Everything Together

Meat + Vegetable + Cheese = The Flavor

The Glue + The Flavor = Scrambled Eggs

Here’s what makes it so quick, tasty and easy….

…use leftover meat and vegetables.

Seriously that’s it. Last night you grilled some beef and peppers and you have a leftovers of a strip of seasoned beef and peppers… that’s already full of flavor and already cooked, so all you have to do is chop it up and reheat it. It’s really just that simple. ANY meat, ANY vegetable. It’s all works just fine.

So chop your meat up and your vegetables and toss them in a pan on medium heat. Add a little butter to stop it sticking, but you’re really just warming it all up rather than anything else.

Once that’s in the pan warming, get a bowl and start cracking the eggs. I use 3 eggs per adult and 2 per kid as a rough guide. I add “a splash” of milk which I guess comes to about a 1/4 cup of milk for 7-8 eggs. Sprinkle some salt on the eggs, take a fork and mix them for about 10-15 seconds tops. Seriously, just mix them and stop, you don’t have to try and frappe the damn things. Quickly mix and pour it over the top of the meat and vegetables in the pan.

Medium heat, maybe a squeeze more.

You’re going to occasionally stir the eggs and reshuffle them in the pan. The goal here is to try and keep them moist and fluffy… working toward the goal where the entire pan of eggs comes up to temperature at the same time, rather than cooking half of them on the bottom of the pan and having runny eggs on top. It’s kinda hard to pull off exactly, but good enough is good enough.

Right before you think the eggs are done. I mean right before. That’s when you add the cheese and not before. What you want is scrambled eggs + melted cheese nestled within the scrambled eggs. If you add the cheese early though, the eggs and the cheese fused together in something that tastes… er… reasonable, but the texture is horrible.

Adding the cheese right at the end works though, don’t even worry if it’s not melted in the pan, as you pull it all off the heat and start serving it up, the heat from the eggs will melt the cheese… and the cool cheese help will stop the eggs from overcooking further. Am I amazing or what?

Got all that?

MASTERCLASS

Here’s the combination that will peel panties off.

Bacon + Fresh Baby Spinach + Feta Cheese

Bacon = The worlds most perfect food. Need I say more? Bacon always works and if it doesn’t, dump her and find a woman it will work on.

Fresh Baby Spinach = This is an uncooked vegetable, so we have to handle this one a little differently. Just add them with the eggs and cook them together. The leaves will stay “big” until they are completely cooked, when they shrink and wrinkle up. The good news is that eggs and baby spinach will complete cooking at pretty much exactly the same time.

Feta Cheese = This is the perfect scrambled egg cheese. It’s strongly flavored, comes already kibbled into small pieces and tends to stay intact in the scrambled eggs. So you get a small chunk of identifiable tasty cheese. It’s the MILF of cheeses.

HOLY CRAP AWESOME CLASS

When you get good at routine scrambled eggs… it scales up in size pretty well. Meaning it’s possible to switch out to a large casserole dish / big pot, and do two or three dozen eggs at a time for a big group of people. Just use more meat and more vegetables of course. It’s the slow warming up to temperature that’s the trick and having the entire dish suddenly cook through at once.

You can do this. Start small. Go bigger. Anyone can cook.