Women Wear Money as a Display of High Value

@Angela:  What does everyone think about a woman letting her hair go gray at 50? I am toying with the idea. Can this be sexy, or am I completely ruining my Sex Rank? Can’t get any opinion from my husband, I don’t know whether he doesn’t care, or what.

Athol:  Whatever it is you chose, just make it look like money was involved in it’s production.
<insert many pics of doggystyle approved older chicks with gray hair>
@Maria:  One shouldn’t forget though, that grey hair as shown in the pics above, is NOT natural. Only very few women are so lucky to have shiny, all over grey hair; most of the time it’s mottled. So all that glamorous grey hair comes out of a bottle, too. It’s actually the most high-maintenance hair color after platinum blonde.

Athol: There’s obviously things like cut and design et al for hair and clothes, but the Display of High Value for women is to be effectively “wearing money”.

@Angela:  Thanks for all the input. I went to the hair salon this morning, the long, grey roots are gone, my hair is a nice rich auburn and I feel 15 years younger. I didn’t realize how much I was hating the gray experiment till it was over.

@x1134x:  Grey hair is not near the DLV that SHORT HAIR is.  At any age. Whatever you do, don’t cut it short.
Dye as long as you can do it and it still looks natural.  If you have wrinkled face skin from age, and a young, youthful head of hair, it looks off.

@Geekengineer:  Agree x eleventy bazillion.

A couple ladies at my office recently went from “actual upper-40s with long hair” to “actual upper-40s looking like a sad 60 year old grandma with no style” overnight by chopping it off to the poofball look. One had very grey hair that ended up getting colored black (looks terrible), the other had 1/2 grey that she colored dog-poop brown (looks… well, you know).

Athol:  So there you go. Keep your hair long. Keep it looking intentional. Keep it looking like some guy shells out cash in your direction.

That’s your Display of High Value for today.


  1. Thanks for the reminder. I’m 55 and “blessed” with long, shiny sun-streaked blond locks (restored every 5 weeks at the hairdressers). I’ve had a few girlfriends go grey and natural (aka, “wiry”) and as pretty as I believe their faces are (combined with a long-standing love of their character and personalities), it ages them terribly and screams “old lady.” I’ve always felt my hair was my “crowning glory” even when my physical shape was less than perfect, and I took good care of it (I’m lucky to have natural curls or can straighten sleek-and admit that the guys seem to prefer the straight and silky look, while women envy the natural curl). Now that I’m back in shape, I definitely enjoy the looks of other men, although sometimes (in passing) there is an occasional confused look from a much younger guy who spied the long blond hair and tight jeans before the face. Trying to keep it classy… not brassy. If you’re happy with the grandma look… go gray. But it rarely shouts sexy IMHO.

  2. Mutton dressed as lamb screams desperate so there’s a balance there. I remember seeing a middle aged woman at the store once walking around in Juicy style PINK sweats or something (bright neon ones too!) with Ugg boots and bleach blonde hair. She could pull it off but her face couldn’t:/ Sounds like you know not to try to look 15 though DD so you’re fine:) I love my natural curls and waves but have heard the “straighten your hair for at least the first date” advice:/ Not overly heat styling creates healthy hair though which helps allow it to be long without looking ragged from split ends. I’m very torn but hubby swears he loves my natural curls. Healthy looking hair is also a DHV- incidentally enough, prenatal vitamins will make your hair and nails grow like weeds! It’s definitely a good sign of potential fertility!
    I think grey hair can look amazing though! Definitely smooth it or keep it moisturized like all hair should be (kicking myself bc hair was frizzy when I went out tonight in this summer humidity ugh!) and be aware of yellowing undertones if not dying. They sell “bluing” shampoos but make sure not to overdose and look like a cartoon instead of a gracefully aged beauty.
    As for length, agreed! Short hair can look cute but it’s more a “I’m so hot I can pull this off” not a boost in and of itself. It also looks mannish quite easily and may have others debating your orientation. (Sorry but few things say butch as much as short hair! If that’s your intent, great but if not realize what signs you are putting out there!) Exactly how long should long be? I think long is anything to the shoulders or passed them but most trends right now are of very long down to the bra strap or more hair. I had that for a while but the egotistical salon I was going to didn’t layer mine like they needed to and it looked so weighted down (excuse small victim puke- seriously hate negotiating hair cuts ugh!). Now it’s still long but only like to down to my decolletage. It’s currently an auburn brunette color (very odd and changes a lot depending on light). Thinking I will dye it red after swim season is over. There may be a box of henna in the closet I purchased based on inspiration from a previous Spice Girls post on here…

  3. My wife always said she could never dye her hair blond because it wouldn’t look natural on her.

    But then, a few months into my MAP, she suddenly changed her mind and got a blond streaky job like I see on the girls around campus.

  4. L–thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt. Yes, the key concept is keep it classy. What the toned teens and 20-somethings are wearing is NOT appropriate for 40s and 50s no matter how fit you are. Shopping in Forever 21 is NOT a good idea. As much as we mature ladies may try, it’s all not going to hang as nicely as in our 20s… so you dress to compliment. Even if the “styles” are strapless or sleeveless, skin-tight or short-shorts, I avoid because my arms and legs just aren’t as “young and toned” as I’d like (a massive weight loss didn’t help in the toned skin department). Winter is actually my favorite dressing time because covering legs and upper arms gives off a nicer, sharper, sexier image than letting 55 year old skin be exposed. And as for my sun-streaked blond–that was my “natural color” until my 20s… when I started to darkening a bit, the highlights started; when I started greying, the blonding started. If you look at any pic of me in my 20s, that is how my hair color looks now. It still matches my skin tone and my personality (and NOT “dumb blond,” a moniker I honestly think was made up by jealous non-blonds!). I think going unnaturally bleached blond is not attractive on ANY woman, much less a mature one. So Athol has it right– show your value and don’t cheapen yourself. I’ve got to say–even to those women who go grey because their loving husbands say “I think you’re beautiful no matter what,” well, it’s a sweet sentiment, but do your looks compliment him? Are his friends going, “Yeah, there’s Tom. He’s married to that old-looking woman…” Trust me, they are not looking at your great body, the grey hair just screams too loudly. There WILL probably be a time in my lie that I’m content with the grandma look… but it’s still quite a way off into my future (like 70s?)

    So, Saluki– you don’t say–is the streaky blond job a positive?

  5. I am streaking my dark brown hair with blonde, having started to get silver streaks – totally the plan is to blonde as I grey. That mimics the fading of the hair without looking aged. (If you’ve ever seen an older woman dye her hair a dark color you know why you’d want to soften it a tad). Some women look amazing in salt-n-pepper hair – my mom did. But me? Nope. Too harsh. (I was blonde until I was 2, so blonde is a good alternate color on me).

    Do you look great in silver white shirts? How about black and white stripes? If the answer is yes, you have a possibility. If no? Probably should do something about the hair.

    FWIW I got some salon shampoo and my hair LOVES it – minimum split ends, even with the bleaching (so far) and it’s growing like a weed. It’s down to the small of my back again. I thought I was going to have to give up on ultra-long hair when I started putting in the highlights, but maybe I won’t! That would be awesome. :)

  6. Timeliest post in Timelytown.

  7. Yep It's Me says:

    Great about the success of your book – and boy, how the women are flocking to your site – how wonderful!! That being said, my opinion is that “the world” is an accessory to women. Money, cars, kids, husband, ex-husband, boyfriend, house, school, activities, job, hobbies, vacations – you name it, they are accessories to the woman’s life.

    And guess what, any accessory can be swamped for a new, better, bigger one.

    Wishing you all the success in the world, just wondering what price you’ll have to pay to keep it. Good luck my man, it’s going to be an interesting ride for you.

    The women who typically come to MMSL, come determined to fix their marriages.


  1. […] it to Athol to come up with the obvious.  His take on all this is that “Women Wear money as a Display of High Value”  I call it “Keeping it Classy” or keeping it all in […]

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