There’s Enough Pain For Everyone

There’s enough pain for everyone.

The way to get past the pain and anger is to learn the pain and the anger of the opposite sex.

Then you start to realize that for every total fucking cunt that’s out there…

…there’s more women crying themselves to sleep because their husband doesn’t love them, cheats on them, has a broken dick, or is just totally fucking useless.

Then you start to realize that for every wife beating asshole that’s out there…

….there’s more men lost and confused as to why they held down a job, were nice, didn’t have some crazy addiction or defect but still live a life of endless rejection and grinding sorrow.

There’s enough pain for everyone.



  1. True, I’m the one lost and confused. Or at least lost. I’m no longer nearly as confused, I don’t see any women worth becoming an abusive asshole for.

    From here on in it’s just downhill till I die.

  2. Matt, they are out there. I had one, the finest woman I have ever known. We got serious, but she was wise enough to know that she needed a strong man, and I was weak. And that led me here.

    They are out there.

  3. And this is why yours is the only red pill blog I read. You get it.

  4. Here’s what I’ve learned.

    Men should embrace sorrow. Why wouldn’t you? That way it doesn’t take them down into the depths of depression…and it also keeps them in check during the highs.

    There is a purpose to sorrow in this life…it keeps us going.

  5. I looked up the woman who gave me the most pain when I was dating.
    She had wanted a home and chidren, but wound up marrying at 38, no kids, and they live with her parents. (I proposed to her; I own a home and have two daughters.)

  6. @Matt

    First, cheer up. It’s just girls. It’s not a matter of life or death in any real sense. It’s more a matter of obtaining and integrating into your life other good things once you’ve got food and shelter taken care of.

    There’s a lot of ground you can cover between being a beta care bear doormat and a wife beating a-hole. As long as you are not a doormat, you can find your comfort level with projecting your masculinity and dominance and a girl that likes your default temperature. Key thing being, not being a “nice guy” or a doormat. That’s no good in any context of your life.

  7. Shadow_Nirvana says:

    It’s a good thing to look at the other side of the gender coin once in a while.

    The manosphere teaches very important knowledge, but there is one thing that a lot of blogs/sites disregard: that women have problems, too. Some just don’t care about it, some take it further and equate anything that comes out of a woman’s mouth as rationalization.

    Let’s not even start talking about the feminist blogosphere. Men are having a problem? “Fuck them and their male privilege. They don’t have any problems, they are just confined in the destructive thing called masculinity.” One woman has a problem “Opressive patriarchy! The whole society has to change!”

  8. There is also enough happiness for everyone out there too! Let’s face it, the vast majority of folks have it great…. They are just too blind to realize it. Life is just one big game, and all we can really do is give it our best shot to win it. Just figure out what “winning” means to you and go for it. Pain and failure are just the challenges and stepping stones to future success. Real “pain” would be the loss of close loved ones to death, or permanent disability. Your wife/gf or bf/husband being crazy and abusing you isn’t real pain, it’s just what you are putting up with for the great sex. Your wife/gf or bf/husband leaving you for a bigger stud or hotter woman isn’t real pain either, it’s just your wake up call to get your shit together. I can only remember having one girl friend dump me that I was worried about it or even missed after….even that was just silliness with all the great women I was surrounded by that I started to notice once she left. Her dumping me was probably one of the best things that ever happened to me, because I would have missed out on a ton of fun staying with her…. I feel like I have a great marriage now, but I have no delusions that if Hugh Jackman came along and started putting moves on my wife, and I let it go on too long things would head south quick…. But that’s not real pain, that’s just Hugh Jackman beating me at the game of life. As long as you keep your shit together there will always be another romantic partner around the corner, or two, or three… My wife is still hot enough that she could easily find some other guy to replace me if I started beating her or treating her like crap…. People seem like they take things too seriously.

  9. There is however, a need for websites that teach women how men work. I am trying to teach my daughters what I can.

  10. “People seem like they take things too seriously.”

    Yes, it’s called “love”.

  11. Shadow_Nirvana says:

    @Dale Well, I think Susan Walsh at has a very good approach in distributing the truths about the SMP to women.(especially younger women) But of course there should be more.

  12. Leroy, I love my wife dearly and picture one of us dying with the other one by their side… She also treats me, my extended family, and our children great! She is great and bed, loving, and a truly exceptional person…. The neurotransmitters in my brain are hooked! I really feel like I am winning the game of life… But I also know that when my wife was watching me play football yesterday, she much prefers to see me throw touchdown passes than see tempter tantrums, self-pity, and failure… If the touchdowns stop and the pity and self-pity and failure take over we are all about 6 months away from being on thin ice…. That’s how the game of life works….It’s just how we are designed, all we can do it give it our best shot to be one of the winners… I was lucky yesterday, my teammates ran good routes, caught most the passes, and played good enough defense that we won both games.

  13. Joe_Commenter says:

    @Dale: Have your daughters check out “what women never hear”

    Very good website. Emphasises how men work and how women can use that to get the marriage they want and maintain self respect. It has a very minor Christian bent to it. The primary focus areas are the idea that girls should remain virgins until married. Girls should not get fat. Men will fuck anything and everything they can, but that will not make them love the girl. Women need to channel the male sexual energy in the right direction in order to win commitment from the man.

  14. Random Angeleno says:

    Susan Walsh started well, meant well, but she has retreated in the last couple of years. Her earliest writings are the best of her work. There are current better red pill blogs by women for women. You can start with the ones who show up to comment on this blog.

  15. Peregrine John says:

    Athol gets it. No amount of dodging or denial will change the truth of the article above. Earl is correct. Between denying its import and wallowing in its depths is acceptance and even positive use.

  16. Hmm Susan Walsh.

    Her early stuff was more instructional to maintaining some sense or morals. Now it seems like her blog is all about how to bang your way through college and still land your beta care bear tee-hee! And her articles directed towards men seem to be instructions on what they should be doing to better serve women or be a better beta. Not that I’m super into those terms, but gosh if that doesn’t seem to leap off the page at me when I read some of her more recent stuff. By and large.

  17. The main point of the post is a good one and bears repeating. Having empathy for the other side in a debate or argument is an important skill in moving forward with a logical solution and/or with forgiveness.

    Empathy is a tool that allows us to balance the emotional aspects of an argument and therefore allows rational thought to have more weight in the solution.

    However, it is critical that empathy for self and empathy for the other are balanced. People that have too much empathy for the other side (and are used to suppressing their own feelings) can be self-sacrificing. They back away from their position in the argument to appease the other’s emotions, which can outweigh the rational decision making process and reduce the other’s accountability .

    MMSL is a place where both men and women come to learn what accountability and expectations in a relationship look like. Red pill thinking evolves quickest when everyone’s faults are pointed out in clear language and we are held accountable for our actions. With that in mind, I would like to point out that in the following quotes, men are held clearly and directly accountable while women are not. In the first quote, it is clear that a wife is unhappy because of her husband’s faults. In the second, it is clear only that a man is unhappy. There isn’t even a direct reference that a woman is involved, it is only inferred in context.

    “Then you start to realize that for every total fucking cunt that’s out there…
    …there’s more women crying themselves to sleep because their husband doesn’t love them, cheats on them, has a broken dick, or is just totally fucking useless.” (HIS FAULTS!)

    “Then you start to realize that for every wife beating asshole that’s out there…
    ….there’s more men lost and confused as to why they held down a job, were nice, didn’t have some crazy addiction or defect but still live a life of endless rejection and grinding sorrow.” (NOBODY’S FAULT?)

    Some may say that I am merely arguing semantics, but people will make a difference if they are willing to point out the uncomfortable truths. While women may never be held to the same level of accountability as men in a relationship, we do need to clearly show them that they too are capable of fault, so that they can have the opportunity to learn and to change, i.e.

    “Then you start to realize that for every wife beating asshole that’s out there…
    ….there’s more men lost and confused as to why they hold down a job, are nice, don’t have some crazy addiction or defect but still have a wife that doesn’t love them, cheats on them, hates them with their vagina, or is just totally fucking useless.” (HER FAULTS!)

    Maybe this comment can basically be broken down to “Athol, it is not fair that you don’t hold women as accountable as men”. I acknowledge that life is not fair and never will be, but we need to work toward that ideal regardless, especially in places like MMSL where people come to learn truth in sexual relationships. Striving toward fairness is very important, because it is much easier to have empathy for the other side when you feel you are being treated fairly. As an example, it is hard to feel empathy for your supervisor’s stress over an overdue project when they make you work overtime on the weekend but they take Saturday off to go golfing.

  18. @Draggin: Interesting point you made there. We men are so used to this kind of lopsided treatment that I completely missed the idea that the wife is being held blameless here. Even by Athol, the author of a site ostensibly for men, the males are specifically called out as defective yet the female gets a pass.

    Other men have made similar comments in the past. Usually these comments are greeted with responses of “well you are the man, just get over it”. AKA just man up. Or some other dismissive remarks like it.

    This situation reminds me of the quote from the book Men On Strike: “Our society, the media, the government, women, white knights and Uncle Tims have regulated and demanded that any incentives men have for acting like men be taken away and decried masculinity as evil. Now they are seeing the result. Men have been listening to what society has been saying about them for more than forty years; they are perverts, wimps, child molesters, wife beaters, cowards, assholes, jerks, good-for-nothing, lazy bumbling deadbeats and expendable. men are the buffoons in every TV show to the ever so wise wife. Men got the message; now they are acting accordingly. As you sow, so shall you reap”.

    I have yet to officially enroll in the Men Going Their Own Way movement and go off the grid, but there are times when it starts looking better and better.

    I give women a free pass??????

  19. Adrianna says:

    Anyone have links to some good links for a young 21 year old woman? Love HUS, but can’t find anything with genuinely useful posts, thank youu!

  20. I looked at “WhatWomen Don’t Hear”, and it is cnservative blue pill through and through. I need to tell my daughter what to do when sexy guy doen’t screw her; how to deal with hookups; women no longer have sex to offer (all the guys they want to offer it to (alphas) can get all they want; all the betas who are looking won’t interest them; what not to say; that what women can still offer men is children, but that is a great responsibility, and only to be undertaken if you can put them first.

  21. Joe_Commenter says:

    Dale: WhatWomen Never Hear is conservative. you want your daughter to stay off the cock carousel until she is married. Nothing lowers a woman’s value more than too many dicks.

    The other thing that WWNH teaches is respect for men. That a woman will not get what she wants by nagging a man. This is women recognizing men as master at its finest. 100% red pill.

    How is female submission, respect for men and not being a slut blue pill?

  22. @Joe_Commenter: It assumes a blue pill society, where there is a good supply of sexy guys willing to wait. There are some but she needs to know how to recognize them and not chase them away. However, most single red pill guys aren’t going to stay with a woman who doesn’t put out; and a blue pillguy won’t turn her on.

  23. holdingallthecards says:

    Since filing for divorce recently (coast is clear with the kids graduated and college-bound), I’ve stepped back into the dating pool, armed with Athol’s words of wisdom and eyes wide open. And I can tell you that there are a lot of bitter and broken beta men out there. THAT is a major turnoff, guys. Let the past be the past. The good stuff is that I’ve seen guys that have rediscovered their old hobbies and are throwing themselves back into physical activities that up their attitudes along with their hotness rank.

    @Joe_Commentator: Only drunk/foolish women discuss their sexual history, so men are usually in the dark about numbers or actual partners. And the sluts who sleep with a guy on the first date are too clingy or desperate for a guy, so they make it easier for the rest of us ladies who have the patience to take the time to get to know the guy to know whether or not he’s a keeper or not.

  24. Joe_Commenter says:

    @Dale: point taken. The young men are starting to see marriage as a high risk low reward proposition. So there is not a big supply of quality men waiting to get married. The thing is, I have seen precious few sites that talk about a woman’s responsibility in attracting and keeping a man, using things other than pussy. WWNH tries to address that. It does have a 1950’s feel to it. But IMHO, that is what people are yearning for these days. Women acting like women. Men acting like men.

    @holdingallthecards: You have the right idea by taking your time. I do believe that your approach is necessary in order to establish a quality relationship. Only problem is, the sluts are conditioning men to believe that we can get the goodies without waiting. Yet, you will definitely command a man’s respect by setting expectations that you expect more than just a fuck. My wife of 25 years did this to me when we met. Women have the power to lead men to do the right thing. You just have to use that power and not give it away so easy in the dating phase. Men do and will wait for a quality woman. Hats off to you.

  25. Gotta disagree that only drunk or foolish women discuss their past. I never ask, but they just can’t seem to help confessing. If they actually like you, and they think they want a relationship with you, then one day they will vomit out all this stuff you didn’t ask about, if they havent been dropping little breadcrumbs along the way. The lolz!

    It’s like they are saying “See what a dirty girl I’ve been? Do you still like me even though I was naughty?” They are hoping you say yes and will therefore absolve her vagina of sins past. The Aristocrats! It’s pretty funny. Chicks.

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