The Real Reason the Blog has Sucked Recently

I always figured when I started MMSL, that I would somehow run afoul of some kind of combination of employer / feminists / appalled in-laws / basic poverty.

Well the in-laws were shocked, then appalled, then curious, then really appalled, then just sort of disorientated, then impressed and finally there’s a “don’t ask don’t tell” policy with my FIL and my MIL simply adores me.

Feminists… well honestly they never really showed. I’ve had vastly more hate from the Men’s Rights angle. Whatever.

Basic poverty. Well we’ve had some of that for a while, but that’s resolving.

Employer. This is where it starts getting complicated. Back in May 2011 Jennifer and I were taken to Human Resources and had a rather odd conversation in the aftermath of being on Inside Edition. Apparently we’re dangerously monogamous and offensively heterosexual enough to have resulted in no less than six calls of complaint to our employer. Like I said, I always figured I’d be taken to HR, but I really didn’t expect Jennifer to be dragged into it too. Jennifer does have a minor PR role for her company, so we do see their point, but even then, it’s no one’s business but ours.

Thus at the time: Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir.

There’s really not too much they can do to us directly, it’s not like you can be fired for kissing your spouse on TV. But after that point, I start feeling like the cross-hairs are firmly drawn on my back and I start getting disciplined at work for things that frankly I don’t think I would have been spanked for before that point. I.e. I see which way the wind is blowing, work my ass off and in June 2012 I jump to MMSL full-time.

Which brings us to now, or more correctly a couple months back.

Jennifer gets a message on a Friday, she’s summoned to HR on Monday. Not told what about. I’m unsure if the intent was to ruin our weekend, but it seemed to achieve that goal. Considering Jennifer is the quintessential good employee, it can only be MMSL related and I feel both shitty and angry. We’re just on the very fine edge of me being able to carry the two of us on MMSL income alone, so I Captain up and green light her quitting her job at any point during that meeting.

It turns out someone from a state agency funding Jennifer’s employer, has been printing off a collection of blog posts and anonymously mailing them to the CEO of her company. So anonymous letter, coming inside a state agency envelope. HR really has nothing to say to her but, “Ahhh… this is awkward, but you need to know what’s happening.” It’s also kinda silly being outed to your employer 2.5 years after you were on national television. The surprise factor lacks a little.

Anyway… what it boils down to, is that someone reads this blog, actively hunting for ways to fuck my wife over… and they are willing to play dirty.

So shoot me if I haven’t wanted to write the blog recently.

Plus Jennifer is mentally distancing from her job, and I see the way the winds will probably start to blow as well.

Thus, I’ve spent the last 2-3 months working like crazy taking every coaching client I can take, growing that part of the brand as fast as I can. I’ve been way over my coaching caseload I feel relaxed with, hardly writing the blog and have next to no idea what is happening on the forum most days. It’s just all hands on deck for immediate cash, piling up a rainy day fund and getting the income level up to speed. Yes we went shopping for stuff for the house, but the primary goal was charting an exit strategy for Jennifer.

Which comes to yesterday…

She put her notice in. Three more weeks and then she’s done. After that, we can catch up on a lot of what I haven’t been able to get to recently. Plus she’s an all-purpose useful behind the scenes specialist. Office managing, marketing, billing, customer service… and a somewhat shall we say, “hands on approach” to managing the erratic ball of energy that is me. Purrrrr. Lots to do and it’s going to be fun. Okay, so it’s also a little like the first drop on a rollercoaster, but it’s going to be wonderful and we’ve worked hard for this. So very, very hard. So Jump vs. Push… meh, get over it, it’s just time.

Plus we plan to take exquisite revenge. Which for us means attending the next Wine Tasting Fundraiser dressed like Nordstrom Shopping Peacocks and doing the Mexican Hat Dance. I don’t believe Ms. Anonymous at the state agency will test us again. Which is almost a pity, because I think I could probably make that sort of thing go viral and we’d love the sales bump.


The week of Thanksgiving Jennifer will finally be home and like King Théoden… breathing the free air.

 Jennifer: It was an odd day at the office today…lots of “Nooooo!  But you can’t leave!” and then lots of questions about who had hired me / what company I was going to.  It’s odd that we’ve been so careful to be under the radar, that very few people in my office even knew about the coaching and the MMSL Empire that I’m leaving for.  Looking forward to being able to be more present on the forum and to putting my energies into building new and exciting things in MMSL Land. (maybe Empire is a bit much?)

Athol:  Sigh. Rescue a princess, inherit a queen.

Jennifer: I can haz a Galadriel video? The “instead of a dark lord you would have a queen!” one?

Athol:  No.



  1. William Hughes says:

    So glad you are out of that mind-clamp. Stay safe and live well.

  2. I’m so happy for you both! I wish you every success with MMSL!

  3. newredpillrecruit says:

    Congratulations to both of you! May the MMSL Empire last a thousand years!

  4. Oh that is such bullshit! People really have nothing better to do with their lives? Sounds like they could use some of Athol’s coaching more than most, lol.

    Hope the transition goes smoothly for y’all! Wish I could throw some more money your way.

  5. Days of Broken Arrows says:

    This is McCarthyism, plain and simple. “Have you ever been affiliated with Married Man Sex Life?!”
    This is a book or an article on Reason or one of those blogs. What your wife experienced was a form of harassment and she should turn the tables and sue them.

    At the moment it appears to be over. Should they persist, then we will see. But for now, it’s not in our interest to turn our lives into a court battle.

  6. Fuck the haters. So glad you can get out of that situation and on to things that make you happy.

  7. Athol's Little Sister says:

    You completely forgot to mention the horrified blood relatives. Just because you can’t see our faces, doesn’t mean we weren’t trotting your story out at every dinner party for the amusement of all! However, like the in-laws, we have had to come around to acceptance that you are making a success of the blog/coaching/books/etc and would like to extend our congratulations to you both for achieving full self employment! That is pretty neat, and we both love being our own bosses.

    Always pleased to torment a little sister. :-)

  8. You nailed it under “dangerously monogamous and offensively heterosexual”. While I could really give a crap what people do as long as it doesn’t affect me, I am sick of all the poor offended people in America.
    Athol, you and Jennifer rock. You two have figured out what we all strive for and you’ve done it without gov’t grants, fancy, useless college degrees and without having any victims.

    I really wish that you’d publicly let out who Jennifer worked for so that all your fans could make it a point to shun them.
    The best thing that we can do to stop the vocal minorities from dragging down the rest of the country (and even the world) is to ignore, boycott and shun all who support them.

    Keep doing what you’re doing. You two rock!

    We have many friends, clients and dear ex-co-workers we wish to continue doing well at the old job.

  9. I wish I could hire my wife. That way the only stupid horny teenager she’d have to deal with is the one I act like.

  10. Oh you wanton sex fiends! I am thrilled for you both, and looking forward to seeing a bit more of Jen on the forum :) The grand master plan continues to unfold.

  11. I’m happy you guys will be happy and successful and am glad you are able to focus on your real calling.

    However, all please take notice.

    Good people are harassed and are forced to leave their jobs when you don’t have proper laws, policies and compliance relating to workplace rights and bullying – and human rights and civil liberties. We’re lucky here in Australia with respect to anti-bullying laws – but laws in any jurisdiction can be changed in an instant. Just a couple of weeks ago two of my colleagues were summarily dismissed for membership of a motorcycle club. They had done nothing wrong and performed very well at work. Law changed day before, gone next day.

    Hence, I believe we should all pay attention to informing our political representatives about our support for free speech, rights at work, civil rights, human rights etc. These would appear to be essential to reforming our society so it functions in a much better way – even down to the happiness of husbands, wives and their families.

    When someone cannot write on how to have a happy marriage, then there is a need for change.

    I wish you all the success in the world and a very wonderful future!

    :-) C

  12. Wishing you much wealth and happiness. Congratulations!

  13. Milf-in-Training says:

    Isn’t this the *second* big drop on the roller coaster, the first having been when you quit?

    I’m wishing you both the best with your “empire”, and trying to figure out how I can promote you without blowing my cover.

  14. Our civil rights laws are the ones they use to bully people.

  15. Jim Coppola says:

    Congrats!! And good luck. Make a lot of money! And pay a lot of taxes….

  16. Congrats!!! this is a fantastic news. I am nervous for you guys, but really very excited. Fingers crossed for you guys!

  17. MMSL looks like it may be the education I needed to change my marriage in a positive way. I was really close to doing some bad things until I found it. Thanks for the work you do, and the struggles you go through.

    One thought I’ve had often about the Red Pill instruction is that it would lend itself well to a seminar/motivational speaking type thing. If you can speak anywhere near as good as you write, you could put together a fun program that would kick start people into the Red Pill way of thinking. Think Cesar Millan for humans. Lots of people have made more money selling less useful info…

  18. Wayne Earl says:

    Yeah….let no good deed go unpunished. May as well make the leap into pr0n now ;-)

    All the best towards carving your own road less traveled. Thanks for your courage in sharing this, and many other things.

  19. Just think when all those fools are at the office shuffling papers around and hating life, you guys will be banging one out.

  20. Fantastic!

    It sounds like everything is coming up peaches. To hell with the idiots. This might have been the final push you’ve needed to reach your next level of success.

    Lots of love to both of you.

  21. Way to go…it’s much better to take matters into your own hands, make decisions that work for you, than to wait for those who don’t have much integrity or courage to let bad things happen to good people.

  22. Trimegistus says:

    Fascism, pure and simple. Almost certainly an Obama supporter. America was prosperous and free, and he promised change.

    Welcome to Castro’s America.

    Jealousy is a better explanation.

  23. Maybe that CEO misunderstood why he was getting anonymous blog posts mailed to him. He probably needs to read the Primer!

  24. I suspect that you’re so threatening to a certain type of person because (1) they’re pretty sure you’re not going to retaliate (which is what you get for being decent people – shame on you ;)). I’m pretty sure you’re not going to track them down and harass *their* employers.

    And (2) because you can’t be dismissed as unrealistic. Actual pron is easier to ignore because someone can, as a last resort, reassure themselves that it’s total fantasy. (Which is fair enough.) But married people with kids and real lives and responsibilities – who still rut like bunnies, and have the sheer gall to not hide it like it and openly take joy in it? That’s gonna hit an awful lot of nerves. Frankly, I’m surprised that it hasn’t been even worse.

    And congratulations to Jen on being able to leave a situation you didn’t want to be in – and to Athol for being able to provide that out. There’s nothing worse than someone having you by the short and curlies (y’know, against your will) because you need the money. That ability to leave, more than being rich, is what’s truly Alpha.

  25. practicallyperfect says:

    My hopes are with you both.

  26. You know it probably isnt allowed for someone to do that. I would request a copy of the print outs mailed and the envelopes. I would carefully explain it has nothing to do with the employer.

    You can, of course, trace the printer that printed out the letters. You could also look into a joint lawsuit with her employer against the blackmailer who used government envelopes to mail them which means they are co opting the authority of that agency. Fingerprints are easily taken off that and compared to the database.

    I would hate to see what a really good lawyer could do with that.

    Oh we know. We’d prefer to live peacefully though. I’ve not got any interest in a lawsuit at this time.

  27. Grammar Nazi says:

    “disorientated” is not a word. Its “disoriented”. :)

  28. Peregrine John says:

    You realize, it’s not necessary to actually go through the nuisance and process of really suing them. It is easy to make clear, even with a veil of politeness, that wrong was done and will be remembered, and that it is in their best interests to keep things out of court. This accomplishes 4 useful things:
    1. They will do whatever you want.
    2. The innocents at the company are not only kept safe and loved, but may not even know about it.
    3. They won’t even think of repeating the shameful performance.
    4. You can entertain us endlessly with it.

  29. Revo Luzione says:

    Regarding about what Someone said re: tracing the documents and tracking down the identity of the perps: You don’t need to do that to sue them, but to “dox” them, anonymous-style. Simply out them for the anti-free speech prudish nazis that they are. Put out their identity & contact info for the Troll army to do with as they may.

    I’m not interested in doing that unless they force it further. We’re free of them now. It’s a win.

  30. Moral of the story (to paraphrase Cappy Capitalism):

    Never work in a place with an HR department if you can possibly avoid it.

  31. Grammar Nazi says:

    Yeah, i hate it when they add words to the dictionary because of “common use” its really “common misuse”. did you notice it just says “disorientated: disoriented”?

  32. Please don’t let the PC crows try to destroy you for what you’ve done. I believe you have provided a valuable service to many loving couples and I can’t imagine a scenario in which you have actually brought harm to anyone. Keep doing what you do, both of you.

  33. Random Angeleno says:

    Congrats on making the final leap! Really something to be said for F you money!
    Regarding that anonymous reader, you have the right attitude, best to move forward and only take action if that person keeps at it.

    To that anonymous reader, if your objective was to push Jennifer out the door, you succeeded. Wildly, I may add. Best to let it go now.

  34. Best wishes and good luck and…


  35. Agree on no need for court case, but disagree on not doxing.
    People like this tend to get off on the power trip of succeeding at something like this and will do it again, (and again). Obviously others aren’t likely to be running a blog like this but a great many people do have badly secured Facebook pages, smaller personal blogs etc and anyone who doesn’t fit this person’s perceptions of what is “right” are at risk. (Ironically, there’s a good chance whomever did this is in HR, and what they did is probably a firing offense.)
    One of the reasons “tha Intarweb” is a powerful force for change in cases like this is that IT people see everything on a network and for the most part tend towards the intelligent and open-minded end of the spectrum. Which means they delight in tracking down and exposing people like this! Conversely people like this aren’t usually half as smart as they think they are and their visits to your site will be all over the firewall logs plain as day for any IT person to see.
    (So this is kind of a heads up as well – there’s a chance this person may get doxed whether you want it or not.)

  36. Oh, and congratulations! Lol

  37. I am a friend. Jennifer is the kindest, non judgemental person I have ever known. I’ve rarely seen her say a mean thing. Unless she’s changed since college, which from our few visits an phone calls, I haven’t seen….. I cannot imagine why anyone would be so cruel towards her.

    I appreciate your graciousness but you are far better people than me.

  38. I enjoyed this post. I enjoy this blog. Keep kicking ass! The loser at the state agency can GFH.

  39. Athol,
    About 2 months ago I stumbled onto your website (was perusing on talkaboutmarriage, and this guy mentions something about women being hypergamous, and to check out his website) and I can’t thank you enough for helping to improve my marriage. I am still working my way through the blog, and am soaking up everything I can to learn more, I will be getting your books as well just to thank you. I had no clue what a “fitness” test was, alpha and beta behavior, dominance and attractiveness, but I sure as hell do now, and I feel like someone has finally given me information about women and relationships that I should have been given 30 years ago. It really makes me angry if I think about it for too long, how unprepared I was in dealing with the opposite sex. The Matrix analogy is very fitting, there is no going back, and I walk through life looking at things in a totally different lens, I feel very much like I have been unplugged from a social programming network and finally see and understand things and how they work. What you have figured out, in regards to applying PUA methods combined with beta behavior in a marriage is genius stuff. I have a lot more I can say, but mostly I wanted to stress how much you have helped me “get laid like tile”.

  40. You do realize that your “blueprint” for a happy, wonderful marriage is highly paralleled to what the bible teaches? You may or may not believe the bible but the major components of what you are advocating in MMSL is rooted in biblical principles. Don’t think for a minute that just because you don’t call yourself an outright Christian that things will be easy. The world system hates all likeness of anything that remotely resembles the teachings of the bible, yours included.

    John 15:18-20 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. 19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. 20 Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.

    Can you think of any other explanation as to why someone would want to hurt either you or Jennifer and go to such lengths for their own purpose? Chances are they don’t know you personally, but one thing is for sure, they don’t like your stance on marriage. Keep fighting, it’s worth it!

  41. Wow… I’m glad that works out so well for you two. It really is amazing the things people manage to get offended about. Triple quoting for the win: “dangerously monogamous and offensively heterosexual.” You rebels. Enjoy that roller coaster, we’re rooting for you!

  42. Congrats you guys! I wish it had been more on your terms and less an event of opportunity. I’m glad though that you are in a position to make it happen essentially at a time of your own choosing rather than being forced into it when you’re not (at all? heh) ready.
    Wishing you guys the best and as always, thanks for the life-changing words of wisdom in the books, blog and forum.

  43. Athol and Jennifer,
    You seem to have made a wise decision. Athol, keep being the energetic Captain that you are.
    Jennifer, keep being the supportive First Officer. May your empire grow slowly but surely!

  44. Sounds like someone had a stick stuck in their backside and was gunnin’ for ya. Glad to hear you guys are persevering through all of this. You have got a great thing going here. Hope it all works out.

  45. Unfortunately so goes the price of Fame and Fortune… and brains.
    The folks that are afraid of change will shout from their ivory towers and hide behind shame. From our own personal experience, we’ve learned to recognize that the more these people utilize underhanded tactics in undermining your message is a sure sign of our positive progress … that such energy is being spent on bringing you down is better than being ignored.
    Carry on and good luck to you both.

  46. 2manypasswords says:

    Apparently government employees have too much time on their hands if they’re trying to out somebody who already appeared on national TV 2 years ago. Here’s hoping this turns out for the best for both of you.

  47. OK, fair enough, glad you’ve got it sorted and will soon be back on form. Free speech is a dangerous business.
    Good luck.

  48. Way to go AK! Lov’n it!
    Brer Rabbit has always been my hero:

    “Grabbing up the tar-covered rabbit, Brer Fox swung him around and around and then flung him head over heels into the briar patch. Brer Rabbit let out such a scream as he fell that all of Brer Fox’s fur stood straight up. Brer Rabbit fell into the briar bushes with a crash and a mighty thump. Then there was silence.
    Brer Fox cocked one ear toward the briar patch, listening for whimpers of pain. But he heard nothing. Brer Fox cocked the other ear toward the briar patch, listening for Brer Rabbit’s death rattle. He heard nothing.
    Then Brer Fox heard someone calling his name. He turned around and looked up the hill. Brer Rabbit was sitting on a log combing the tar out of his fur with a wood chip and looking smug.
    “I was bred and born in the briar patch, Brer Fox,” he called. “Born and bred in the briar patch.”
    And Brer Rabbit skipped away as merry as a cricket while Brer Fox ground his teeth in rage and went home.”

  49. Commending you both and wishing you a happy Thanksgiving :)

  50. Just started reading. Enjoy you site. Wishing you the best “full-time”

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