The MAP Coaching Chocolate Chip Cookie Guarantee

http://www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-image-cookies-image28388706Week Two Coaching Call…

Athol: “Oh yeah, watch for the plate of cookies coming this week.”

Client: “The what?”

Athol: “Cookies. Your wife is going to bake you cookies this week. Just watch for them.”

Client: “Ahh… okay.”

Week Three Coaching Call…

Client: “HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THE COOKIES?”

Athol: “I’ve been doing this a while now. You always get cookies in week three.”

Client: “I don’t know how you knew she would do that.”

Athol: “Chocolate chip right?”

Client: “You’re starting to freak me out. How do you know this stuff?”

Athol: “My confidence is large.”

So….gentlemen, here’s the deal.

If you sign up for 12-Week MAP Coaching, you’re going to get a plate of cookies by the end of the third week of coaching…

…and it’s going to be made by your wife.

In addition, I’m so confident of this, that I’m going to back it with a guarantee.

JEN 22 LRIf your wife doesn’t make them for you, my wife will.

 So drop Jennifer a line and put in your order for cookies.

Plus the coaching will change your life yada yada yada.

(Offer good within the Continental US and people signing up until 3/31/14.)

(Sorry ladies, my confidence is indeed large, but I’m not about to bet your husband is going to bake you cookies.)

 

Comments

  1. John Quest says:

    You Rock Sir!

  2. For me, my wife baking cookies is sabotaging my MAP, since weight loss is one of my monkeys. (I’ve told her to stop.)

    Exactly.

  3. Is this a deliberate move by the wife to sabotage the self improvement program of her husband? If it is, its a weird paradox as all she is doing is working against her husband becoming a sexier man.

  4. From husbands to wives: candy, I’d bet.

  5. LOL! Awesome.

  6. Joe Commenter says:

    I must be slow today. Somebody explain to me what happened between week 2 and 3.

  7. Hahaha. Is it always chocolate chip cookies? Why is that? Is it because they are one of the easiest cookies to make?

    I suspect it’s because it’s easy… and high calorie… the better to sabotage him. ;-)

  8. Does this guarantee apply to prior clients? Cause I didn’t get cookies…

  9. kickboxer girl says:

    Can I just have the cookies. Ive lost 34 kilos and I miss them…thanks Jennifer

  10. For me it was fudge brownies.

  11. Joe Commenter says:

    I wish somebody would let me in on the joke. Does the wife bake up the cookies in order to sabotage the hubs MAP? And if so, it is THAT predictable?

    Yes she bakes the cookies to disrupt his exercise gains. And yes, it’s that predictable.

  12. Athol's little sister says:

    Well, how else am I gonna get the life insurance money?

  13. Joe Commenter says:

    Wow, that is freakin awesome. You had to spell it out for me because it’s hard to believe the MAP is that powerful.

  14. Peregrine John says:

    Oh, Roses. Just had to toss in the “they do it too!” fallacy, didn’t you? Let’s ask the experienced expert about this, shall we? Athol? Have you seen this to the same extent when the sexes are switched, or at all?

  15. No, Peregrine John, I tossed that out there because when my husband wants to sabotage that’s what he does: buy candy. If the subject is how people sabotage their spouse’s changes, then how is that not relevant?

  16. I bake treats or his favorite dinner when I’m trying to get his attention, aka foreplay for me. Fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, right? I didn’t think I was trying to sabotage his exercise attempts, but definitely I do this when I’m feeling more attracted to him.

  17. Joe Commenter says:

    @Legs: what is the context of your comment? What Athol is talking here about is where the wife hasn’t done jack squat for husband, until he starts mapping. THen when he starts improving himself, she decides all the sudden to do something nice for him, but it is really a sabotage. If you are sexing your husband regularly then doing something nice is likely not sabotage. It is just being a good wife.

  18. So a little context of why I’m here is because I would love to have sex, or some kind of physical contact with my husband a whole lot more but he isn’t interested, or flat out rejects my requests. We’re intimate every 4-6 weeks and I’m going a little crazy, maybe a bit hamsterish. I can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong. Everything else in the marriage is A+. He’s a stellar dad, helps out around the house, we’re both in good physical shape. We’re in our mid thirties, both working full time, and kids are getting busier with activities. There is stress, but we both excel at work and enjoy a somewhat luxurious lifestyle. I’m working on my MAP to get in better physical shape and loose a couple pounds, but I have enough guys hit on me to know that I’m fairly attractive already. I read this post and thought, oh no, it’s my cookies that have been turning him off! Maybe I just need to bake some testosterone into them.

    What would be nicer is if he didn’t want cookies to upset his diet, would be for him to come into the kitchen and compliment the chef without even tasting a single one and then give her what she really wants from him. Fairy tales, I suppose.

  19. Joe Commenter says:

    @Legs, 4-6 weeks is not normal. He either has a medical problem or he’s having an affair. Normal men are only attentive like that with a woman we want to fuck. If you put a fat ugly woman in my house, I would not be doing squat for her. I probably wouldn’t even be social with her. Get him to a doctor.

  20. @joe commenter I hope that there is not a PA. That is my deepest fear. But I have set some ultimatums the last few weeks while working on my MAP. He showed up with a bottle of testosterone from GNC this week. I’ve decided to stop ultra running since the carb loading was giving me a gut and thick thigh muscles. I started crossfit and paleo in January. I’m down ten pounds and starting to see a six pack again. My husband accidentally came across a copy of my MAP goals, including setting up a separate bank account and learning how to use power tools to fix things on my own. He initiated sex for the first time in a while, which was a nice change from the constant rejection I was getting. Athol’s books have been a life saver from my insanity of trying to be a good wife and plummeting self esteem.

  21. Monkey's Uncle says:

    My wife ran a cake decorating business out of our house for awhile. There was just always this giant plate of trimmed “cake scraps” sitting out on the kitchen counter.

    HER ENTIRE CAREER WAS DESIGNED TO SABOTAGE MY MAP.

    I’m glad that’s over.

  22. Legs, try offering no-reciprocity/no-foreplay surprise BJs, AND be clearly happy about having had the chance to render them. Bet you get better results than pushing hubby to get on the same-old 3-hour involved process for missionary coitus.

  23. @Luke, 3-hour coitus? Who does that? I’m a 20 minute, 5x O girl – very high sex drive. I’ve really laid on the flirting, provocative clothing, sexting, BJs, new lingerie, 10 sec kisses. I’ve aroused myself in front of him (that worked). He’s said NO to me offering to sex him 9 out of the 14 tries last month. I framed his MBA degree for him to take to the office for a wall of fame. Generally bending over backwards just trying to warm up what I’ve tried to keep a cold relationship to avoid the pain of rejection. How long do I keep trying? I’m exhausted.

  24. Actually, I think I’ve given a fairly clear warning shot across the bow for my captain, that the first officier would like the ship to start going faster and how fast I would like it to be going. It’s time to step out of the captain chair and let him take the ship forward. No more dread games, whining, crying, nagging, or displaying low value. If the ship is going to crash, I’m not going to step in to continue steering. (Chocolate chip cookies are no longer going to be baked, unless the captain is stepping it up.)

    In reality, I may be in good enough shape to attract most men’s attention, but my captain may need exquisite shape to give the passion I am looking for. I also need to be more feminine, but keep true to my personality of strength and intelligence. I’m not going to beta orbit around his lack of initiative. I’m a “Katniss” personality, and I don’t want to end up with a Peeta.

    In reality, if he has been playing with fire (porn or an affair), I need to stop being a safety net. Even if it means embarrassment in our community, loss of his job, or our marriage, I will not be a victim to this behavior.

    In reality, if he has a low T problem, he is a big boy. If he can figure out how to run fifty miler races, keep himself hydrated and fueled, I’m pretty sure he can take care of a medical hormone problem. I’m not his mom nor have any desire to be treated as such.

    Now to do this with as much gentleness, grace, femininity, and happiness that I can muster without becoming cold and BSC. Time for the long game of Phase 2.

  25. @Legs, if my wife bakes cookies, i would assume she wants praise for haw good they are, and to show that I like them by eating some. (Although I agree your husband has a problem. You should print out some info on low T for him, and read the forum fo advice on checking out the possiblity of an affair.)

  26. @Dalef Are there specific forum topics on looking into an affair? I can’t seem to find any. I’ve read most of the low-T ones, and somethings match up, but not all. I think it’s great that you say Thank You for her kindness. Do you try to add some physical touch, too? That is usually what I’m looking for when I do something nice. Words are big, but a little playful touch gives me a huge boost. Enough to finish ten loads of laundry, pick up the house, and make dinner with a smile.

  27. David Andersen says:

    @Legs

    “If he can figure out how to run fifty miler races, keep himself hydrated and fueled, I’m pretty sure he can take care of a medical hormone problem.”

    How much is he training? Lots of endurance work can kill sex drive. Just Google ‘endurance training and sex drive.’ I’ve mostly seen this in elite women who have low body fat but it can happen to anyone. It can muck up the hormones.

    Best wishes.

  28. @David, yes, this describes the problem a bit more concisely than just a low-T problem. He is definitely overtraining and doesn’t take a break in his race schedule. It also correlates more closely to when the sex started to dip (4-5 years ago). I was also ultra running during that time, so the lack of sex was annoying, but not enough to do something about it. Since I’ve stopped training and moved to weight lifting, my sex drive has increased tremendously and I’m noticing the missing need.

    Man, I love his tight running ass. How do I get him to change his hobby that was initially part of his MAP?

  29. Joe Commenter says:

    @legs: men value plain language. You cannot be wishy washy vague about getting him to change the hobby that was supposed to have made him more attractive to you. Have you point blank tell him what’s up.

    Most women refuse to directly address problems – instead will indirectly say something, assuming the hubs will “get the hint”. If your marriage is resting on this you must make it clear to him.

  30. David Andersen says:

    @Legs,

    You don’t need to train for 50 mile races to have a great runner’s body. Training for 10ks and half marathons (like 40-50 miles a week with some high quality speed work) will do that. For that matter, so will moderate weight lifting (read: not with the goal of being a body builder). Or biking. I mean, ultrarunning – more power to both of you for doing it – but you don’t need to train and compete at the extreme end of the sport for the benefits. We have lots of great 10 mile to 25k trail and road races in the US too. So much to choose from! All that said, I’ll be he could cut his training back substantially and still run the ultras while not depressing his hormones.

  31. Thanks everyone. He agreed to get tested for Low T, but is a little hesitant on giving up his “trail porn.” Ha, love this site, http://www.trailporn.com/ (note, no sexual content whatsoever). It’s going to take an opinion from a medical professional to convince him about endurance training. I think another good indicator of hormone imbalance is that he is using nitric oxide to get a solid kick during his runs, which means he is missing something natural and overtraining. I think I’ve found the affair he’s having which is making him say, “I love you, but can we just keep it emotional?”

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