MAP Review at Adventures in Red Pill Wifery

Okay, I really have to write a proper post, but while I get cracking on that…

Transparent 3Dcover for website ad

Via Adventures in Red Pill Wifery…

“If you’ve read the MMSL Primer, don’t worry, this one is still worth reading… There’s some crossover material, but it’s a lot of new stuff, with a revamping of the MAP process. Consider this the laser beam approach, whereas the Primer was more of a shotgun full of buckshot in the variety of topics. Both are required reading, in my opinion.

The Mindful Attraction Plan is a freaking great blueprint for how to make yourself successful and happy, not just in your marriage, but in your whole life. The language is quite a bit toned down from the Primer, but the info is still red pill. It reaches a broader audience by including us ladies in the conversation, since most of the advice holds true for women as well…. Work on yourself, cut out the negativity, take control of your life.

And bonus, if you have a friend or family member that REALLY needs the marriage advice, you can give it to then without feeling awkward about the word “sex” being in the title, lol. I plan on giving it out as Christmas presents to everyone I can think of.”

Ornamental Publication Date: Apparently My Book is For Sale

So apparently setting a publication date for your book on Createspace, isn’t the same as having a release date.

I’ve got the book all edited and uploaded to Createspace and very carefully pick July 4th as the publication date. I figured that would give me time to play the sales push game without becoming obnoxious about it. I’ve also got a fair amount to get through by July 4th to follow up the book, so it’s all coming together. I’m exhausted from the blur that is looking at your own work until your eyes bleed. I push the button to approve printing with the same drama a movie President authorizes a nuclear strike.

The book shows up on Amazon quite quickly. Book is in pre-order and will ship on July 4th. If the price drops before then, they will match it. Awesome.

I take a bleary eyed nap and then go about the business of formatting for the Kindle version. Book still in pre-order. Cool.

The next morning people on the forum start squealing they buying the book. Yay pre-orders, I feel awesome. Then they say it’s already shipped!

WTF? Yup, the book is live. Dammit. Call Amazon, they say it’s a Createspace issue. Call Createspace, they say I approved it. I say noooooooooooo, I very carefully selected July 4th. They tell me that all I’m selecting is a line of text, there’s no actual functionality to the publication date decision. Whaaaaaaaaaaat?

I can either just enjoy the ride, or shut the entire book down and reactivate it later, say on July 1st, hoping that it’s all the way turned on again for July 4th. Except it might not be. The 800,000lb Amazonian gorilla does book magic and it’s a little random as to when it works.

So the publication date is basically ornamental?

Yeah it is, sorry about that.

Ugh… First World Problems.

Anyway, 100,000 new books hit Amazon each month… so I decide to stay low and not annoy the sleeping Kraken. I crunch the Kindle version out. It’s all on.

The book is here…

Athol_Kay for Amazon 1250X2000

 

There’s other stuff happening behind the scenes, but I’ll get to that in a day or two. For now, if you can buy a book and get the initial wave going, it’s amazingly helpful to me.

 

I Had This Idea For A Show

Angeline:  I nominate @RPN to be @Athol_Kay’s first client on his reality TV show, where he installs video cams and dissects the beta fuckups, via earpiece.

Athol Kay is

… AlphaNanny.

Athol:  Actually… I’d take a deeper analysis approach. I don’t care about the Beta screw-ups, I want to get into the history and discover the actual source issues for all this.

It would be more like Law and Order. 

Mona: Yeah, but we all know which show would get higher ratings.

Athol:  Yeah the smart guy one that unearths the elephants and other assorted drama.

It starts off like a cross between Numb3rs and Cheaters, then goes into a cross between Dr Phil and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

Tell me you wouldn’t watch that shit.

So anyway… lets play the imaginary show game. What should my show be like?

Jennifer:  Anything, just as I’m not in it lol!

The Great Material Continuum

Continuing on from yesterday’s cliffhanger…

In the movie version of my life, the last four years would look like a five minute cut scene of me making Ironman suits. Stirring music and me all slick, shiny and flying about yelling “Woo-Hoo!”. Instead it’s been way more like playing the role of Chief O’Brien…

…anyway.

April 8th I threw away everything I had written to date and started from scratch.

Everything just feel into place. The entire four years worth of crap suddenly meaningful as a dozen dark clouds decided to dump the silver linings on me en mass.

Simple. Light. Clean. Fresh. The easiest writing I think I’ve ever done.

Final pushing and it’s 417am, but I’ve finished editing the book. Have a cover. Just got the uploading to Createspace and Kindle to get done and planning a 7/4/13 release date. I’ll tell y’all more about it tomorrow… Oh I guess I mean later today. I’m so sleepy.

Author and book are doing well.

How The MMSL Sausage is Made

I tried to break from nursing in 2006 go into real estate sales. You can match the exact hour the bottom fell out of the housing market to getting my real estate license printed. Maybe it’s my ego talking here, but I’m pretty sure the housing crash was my fault.

I tried way too hard and too long. We basically lost our entire nest egg trying to make a go of real estate.

I went back to nursing in 2008.

By late 2009 it becomes apparent that the lack of pay raises from our non-profit jobs and increase in fuel / heating oil is slowly taking us down and we need either to bail on the house, or we need 10-12k increased income a year.

Also by late 2009 it’s become apparent that I have the prototype ideas for MMSL and they seem potentially marketable. Jennifer and I have a long talk about it, it’s going to be on my real name. I’m out of ideas for how else we can get ahead. This seems like it. Jennifer agrees.

Jan 2010 I start the MMSL blog, the goal being to write the blog, turn it into a book and make MMSL my “part-time job” hopefully making that 10-12k a year. We’re still drifting backwards into debt though. Hopefully the Blog to Book approach turns into a Book to Expert jump as well. Expert gets the big payoff… eventually.

In mid 2010 we cashed out my quite moderate 401k to pay down credit cards and have money to promote the then to be written Primer. In August 2010 we spent a fair amount of that cash to say goodbye to dad in New Zealand. He died in November 2010. I wasn’t a happy camper then.

2010 winter was beyond horrible with oil heat and record snow. Furnace broke. Both cars needed $1000 repairs. We can’t pay the mortgage by Feb 2011.

Defer the taxes and publish the Primer end of March 2011 with literally no money for anything other than uploading the book. That’s why the cover looks like it does.

Get offered national media attention due to a viral post about Jennifer and I having sex nearly every day of our marriage. Inside Edition calls, we get interviewed and are on national television. We are now 100% public and basically outed in real life to any and all friends and family… and our jobs as well. We get dragged to Human Resources for being dangerously monogamous or something. The blog gets an extra 800 hits, no sales spike. Inside Edition was pointless. Fuck.

At least the the Primer income keeps us afloat all 2011. I think I get to actually spend my first “book money” for something fun around Thanksgiving 2011.

Primer keeps selling, by March 2012 I’m basically exhausted from working nursing full time and answering 2-4 hours of email a day for MMSL. Put my notice in. Done with nursing in May 2012.

Try writing revised Primer. Bleh. Have an outline, but really just feels like moving everything around rather than “better”. I give up trying to write the Primer second edition.

State of Connecticut says I can’t do MMSL stuff as coaching as it is too close to marriage counseling. Ugh. Start the MMSL forum instead… see where that goes.

Try writing revised Primer second attempt. Bleh bleh bleh. Just shuffling things around rather than improving them. Give up again.

Primer still selling reasonably well. Have a seminar retreat weekend for the Army. Goes fairly well, but endless drama before the weekend getting books printed for the weekend. Endless drama getting paid after the weekend. Final summary, about six weeks work prepping for weekend, final summary made about $2000 after expenses. Army funding change, no further interest in more retreats.

Make third attempt to revise Primer, hate it. I get about 20% into writing it and just feel overwhelmed with dread, depression and darkness. It’s good writing, but… still meh.

Hatch plan for little “Red Pill Rule Book”, make great progress and get to 95% complete. Put on hold due to interest from third party in turning everything into a partnership and bringing everything to market as a seminar empire. I have intellectual capital, they have financial capital and prior experience in training industry. Needs a new Primer revision to base everything off. Okay. Doing it. We’re on our way finally. Jennifer stops being “supportive wife” and becomes “believing wife”, a subtle but important change.

Running the forum slowly sucking the life force from me. It’s meant to suck up all the email contact I was trying to handle, but never quite becomes something I can step away from without running off the rails.

Dec 2012 - Feb 2013 making some progress on bringing revised Primer content… the fourth attempt at it. Insights from the forum are useful. Fly to California for meet and greet with potential partner. All going well. All going well. All going… silence… dread… fuck. Partner reports his wife will likely become screaming banshee and destroy everything publicly. I’m out. About as mutual and sad of a parting of the ways as anyone could expect. Truly.

I ask Jennifer to be CEO of whatever it is I do. Her Pepper Potts, me Tony Stark. She accepts. We brainstorm new approach. Go time.

March 2013. I start writing the Primer revision for now the fifth time. BEAST MODE ACTIVATED. I’ve got everything now. This is a true Primer revision. It’s like the old Primer, just better laid out, more insight, fixing everything. Stronger, harder, richer, funny as hell and darker. Much darker. It’s truthful, but brutal as a runaway combine harvester. I have 80 pages of perfect pain written… and I can’t write anything more. It just feels so… wrong.

April 8th 2013 I throw them all away…

Jennifer:  That has a sense of doom to it.

Athol:  Oh. It’s meant to be a cliffhanger.

Jennifer: You kinda suck sometimes you know that right?

Athol:  I’m adorable though.

Jennifer:  /sigh  Dammit.

 

Framing the Official Relationship History

The half of the couple who is in charge, is the one who gets to take the official meeting minutes of the relationship. As long as the relationship is going well, this isn’t a concern because the official meeting minutes reflect the happy harmony of the relationship.

But on the rare occasions the relationship has some minor points of interpersonal discussion, requiring greater thought as to the structural situations in which the happy couple periodically finds itself at sub-optimal levels of unification on a temporary issue, the official meeting minutes of the relationship, become an important resource to clarify the memories of prior statements of mutual agreement, to the appropriate course of action for exactly the circumstances in which discussion wishes to take place and as the matter has already been settled before the present point of time, this entire debate amounts to a potentially offensive reopening of a closed matter, as the expectation remains that talks made in good faith will be honored and not discarded on a whim, especially when additional plans have already been made with outside parties and costs borne predicated on the original agreement, thus it remains not only a reasonable expectation that the plans of action unfolds as mutually intended and agreed upon, it is in fact going to be damaging to attempt to not proceed and therefore is doubly justified as the only possible thing to do at present.

Or perhaps put more plainly…

“We’ve already talked about this. You agreed that I could have a weekend away with the girls, you can’t change your mind on me now, I’ve already got plane tickets and booked the hotel.”

“I didn’t think you were going to Vegas though, you said it was the beach house.”

“What? No! You agreed that I could have a weekend away with the girls. The beach house was only one idea of a possible place. We decided on Vegas as a group after that.”

“I don’t think that’s how it happened, you said the beach house.”

“Okay, well now we have this problem again where you can’t remember conversations we’ve had. You don’t pay attention. I have to remember everything, and I clearly remember that you agreed I could have a weekend away with the girls.”

As you can see, if she controls the official meeting minutes of the relationship, she gets to be the one that remembers the relationship correctly. Which means she controls the entire frame of the relationship history. Which means if she’s fallen out of love with you, your entire relationship will be rewritten to frame you as some loser she was putting up with and her as the long suffering spouse. Thus explaining, when driven to the breaking point, the need to seek solace in the arms of another.

This mind control tactic is called Gaslighting.  And yes of course men can do the same thing to women too. I’ve seen victims of both sexes come stumbling onto the forum with having experienced Cardassian levels of mental conditioning.

Anyway…

If there is a patron saint of hamster, it’s Sir Humphrey…

Jennifer:  It’s nice to be Athol’s editor and ensure his postings are officially official.

 

Dragon’s Lair: Princess Daphne Teaches Girl Game

Here’s the thing about White Knighting.

No one tells guys they need to do it, it’s built into their DNA. Pretty girl needs saving? We’ll be right there.

Watch this short video and tell me you don’t have a total craving to hunt for a copy of Dragon’s Lair. Must. Save. Princess. Daphne.

There’s a rather obvious assumed contract at work there. Be the hero, save the girl and you get to pop her out of her chastity bubble.

However in modern society, if a woman is rescued she doesn’t have to pony up like a fairy tale princess. If the fire department rescues a woman from a burning building, there’s minimal expectation she’ll let herself be taken doggy style in the back of the fire truck. As an aside, Engine 7 wishes to apologize.

But for men, the expectation for being a White Knight hero remains intact. If a woman is getting robbed by three men, a male passing stranger is simply meant to rush them unarmed and get shot as a distraction so she can escape with her pocketbook. Your wife will bawl her eyes out on your casket and you’ll be called a hero. Everyone will be proud.

Yeah I know, extreme examples, neither of which is likely to happen to you in your lifetime. Usually the “save me” and “here I come to save the day” is smaller and less dramatic. Here’s rent money. I’ll help you finish your report. I’ll tell them no for you. Take my car. I’ll help you move. No worries, I’ll buy dinner. Here’s something to help get you back on your feet again. I don’t mind staying here all night in case he tries to come back, I’ll just sleep on the couch with a hard-on.

So the rule is, you don’t turn yourself into a chump. You don’t spend unusual time, energy, or money on a woman who isn’t willing to put out for you. You sure as hell don’t put yourself in danger for her. Women killed chivalry by demanding equal treatment and breaking their end of the hero-gives-rescue-princess-gives-poon contract. So men have to stop White Knighting, otherwise you’re just an idiot for doing it.

But…

It’s fucking built into us.

When all is said and done, one of the things I like about being married is I can White Knight Jennifer. To be fair she’s not some dingbat endlessly getting herself in a spot of bother, but it’s really actually kinda fun to provide for her and get to play the all-purpose hero of the family. She also holds up her end of the bargain and puts out rather nicely. I don’t have a magic sword, I have a laptop. I don’t have a dragon, I have MMSL. I don’t have Princess Daphne, I have Jennifer. It’s actually really enjoyable.

When you look closely at most guys, their lives involve finding out whatever their version of the magic sword is, trying to slay their dragon and saving their girl from something. You want to know what the hottest thing about Princess Daphne is? What gives her rock solid girl game? It’s not the sexy voice, it’s not the lingerie outfit, it’s not her long blond hair, it’s not her ass, boobs, lips or legs.

She squeals and claps.

Ladies if you want your husband to act more Alpha, if you happen to notice him doing something good, try an over-the-top Princess Daphne patented Squeal and Clap routine. Watch him puff up with DNA programmed pride. I do Goofy and Groping, so why not see what a couple of seconds of Squeal and Clap gets you. I’m telling you, back in the day guys shoveled quarters into those Dragon’s Lair machines….

 

 

Was It The Booze, Or Was It The MAP?

Valmont:  So, recently started MAPing and sex has been rare (like once or twice a month) and a source of tension for two years. Her enjoyment has been sporadic to say the least (but not totally gone). I just want your views on last night.

We had a party and had parked the kids with grandparents. I’ve been MAPing, imperfectly for about a month. There’ve been signals that she’s been picking up on this but yet to have a real conversion into the bedroom. So, yeah, I was hoping for something out of a decent party with no kids to come home to.

That night, I mapped it like a mofo. I’m not normally into dress up events but, what’s that babe? you want me to grow an awesome mo? Game on. You wear that mini skirt and it’s a deal.

Get to the party and get her a drink but then make a mental note to start chatting to the other ladies there. After about 10 minutes I remembered something; how freaking charming I can be when I want to turn it on. So I turned it on. Never in a threatening way but enough that by the end of the night I had her and her best lady friends laughing, flirting, dancing, and just not leaving my side. Gold.

I also made a point of keeping tabs on what I was drinking. Just enough to get lucid but I paced it with soda to make keep me level.

So we get home at about 3. She’s never one for affection in public but the minute we shut the front door – bang. I’m not going to turn this into some indiscreet penthouse forum clone but I have been wracking my brain to think of anytime, ever, when we have fucked like that, and I simply can’t. It. Was. Awesome. She wanted to be taken, and how; and she was completely vocal about everything, which is so out of character but so welcome. It was like every inhibition that had built up over the years was wiped. To switch to beta, it wasn’t just fucking. It was incredibly close too. We were ecstatic afterwards.

So what’s the problem then? The next day I tried to reward this with a decent breakfast. It was then that I realized that she had hit the sauce quite a bit the night before. She was quite hungover and most embarrassed about it.

I switched to full beta mode to get us all through the day but immediately began to wonder, “ah crap, so was it just the booze?”  I know the MAP plan is send a follow up message the next day about how awesome last night was, but I knew that with a hangover she would not receive it well.  So I waited until later that night, when the fog had cleared to just drop a, “you were awesome” into conversation. I got a slightly embarrassed groan and a “I was pretty drunk.” She clearly did not want to discuss further.

My dilemma is this. My (beta) inclination is to want to sit down and say, “that was awesome, for both of us, what made it possible and how do we do it again?” But one thing I have learned is that she HATES talking about sex. Ever.

I’m really starting to get a picture of someone who intellectually has been raised with all the feminocentric programming but underneath just wants a good strong man to drag her by the hair to the cave. I think this tension causes a lot of anxiety and even shame – which corrupts not only our ability to talk like adults about sex by I also think is the big inhibitor in getting her going in the first place.

But my big question is, was it the MAP or the booze? If it’s the MAP then I just keep mapping and this sort of action should slowly become the norm. But if was just the booze…..

Athol:  Imagine a scale of 0-100 of how interested in fucking you she is. The higher the number, the more she wants it.

Let’s assume you’ve been stuck at about a 30 for ages.

A couple days back you apologized / owned your shit. +10 and you’re at 40.

You dressed up nice +10

You turned on the charm +10

You have her friend laughing and being into you +10

You got a ton of drinks into her +20

Result for that one night 90 out a 100 on her scale. Fireworks.

So was it the MAP or the booze? Well it was a bit of both.

However, over the long-term you’re going to work on the structural attraction issues, that work every single day in the background and slowly get your baseline creeping up and up. So on any given day, you don’t have to jump through a dozen hoops to make it all happen.

I mean it’s fun once in a while to spruce up and paint the town red, but gets exhausting if that’s what you have to do every single time to get laid.

On the plus side though, that one night probably got you a +2 or something to her baselines interest in you. So if before the evening she was stuck around the 40 point mark, today she’s moved up to 42. So she’s starting to thaw a little. So while the whole night was a bit of a planned charm offensive and a bit of a trick, it all went well and gave you a little boost toward your long term goal of getting her overall interest up higher.

So all in all, worth the effort. You just can’t expect tomorrow evening you’re going to get her shrieking and squealing like she’s at 90 sexual interest in you.

Always well worth getting the relationship momentum heading upwards though.

 

 

What Are Your Best Books And Resources?

Time to expand my reading a little. What are your favorite books and/or resources over these six broad categories?

(1)  Physical Fitness, Food and Health.

(2) Money and Material Possessions.

(3)  Alpha Goodness and Attraction.

(4)  Beta Goodness and Comfort Building.

(5)  Personality and Peak Performance / Success.

(6)  Sex Life and Bedroom Fun.

Why You Need The Blue Pill Too

The Red Pill is great, but we do actually need a little bit of Blue Pill too. There’s a balance… let me pull up the Hitchhikers Guide for a second…

The Belcerebons of Kakrafoon Kappa had an unhappy time. Once a serene and quiet civilization, a Galactic Tribunal sentenced them to telepathy because the rest of the galaxy found peaceful contemplation contemptuous. Ford Prefect compared them to Humans because the only way Belcerebons could stop transmitting their every thought was to mask their brain activity (or its readability) by talking endlessly about utter trivia. The other approach to dampening telepathic communication was to host concerts of the plutonium rock band Disaster Area. Thankfully, during the concert, an improbability field flipped over the Rudlit Desert, transforming it into a paradise, and cured the Belcerebons of telepathy. A Disaster Area spokesman said that this was “a good gig”.

You catch that… sentenced them to telepathy.

If you actually knew what every person was thinking 24/7, you’d quickly go insane from hearing the random thoughts of everyone else.

Imagine having sex with your partner and seeing their thoughts flick off topic for a few seconds. Without telepathy you’d just see them shut their eyes for a couple of seconds and you’d assume they were into it. Instead you’d know they were thinking about the grocery shopping, the truck, fuck my thighs hurt, I wish he’d just cum, I miss my ex-gf, that’s a big zit on her forehead, I shoulda peed before I started, shit don’t cum yet, why the fuck won’t he tie me up, it’s the top of the seventh and coming up to bat with a .365 average is… ah dammit I came, is that it?

Hell I was standing in line at Dunkin Donuts today and the three teenagers in front of me in line seemed a little on the douchebag side and I had a whole fantasy about just beating their underweight asses into the ground. Look I’m not saying it’s right, I’m just saying I was thinking about smacking that one first because he’d just run, one shotting the other one and then staring down the other one and saying “When you’re unconscious I’m not going to stop hitting you.”

I just need my coffee and no one gets hurt. Just be cool. We’re all going to be like little Fonzies.

Anyway, obviously I didn’t do that, because it was just a random thought, but I would imagine if they actually heard all that, standing in line would have gone differently.

The trouble is, a lot of the Red Pill approach to life assumes a near telepathic assumption of negative intentions in others. Is it often right? Sure it is. But it’s almost impossible to live happily if you are endlessly paranoid and jaded about the intentions of everyone around you. If every woman is a hot mess of whorish desire and nothing else but a lying cunt of a hamster justifying her Alpha male sperm seeking… well it gets tiring being on edge after a while. Likewise every man is a third wheel seeking an opportunity and plots behind your back, pumping you for information about your woman, seeking to make a run into the endzone the moment you blink too slowly.

After living like that for long enough, well…

I see it a lot in Red Pill people. There’s often an expression of wishing they could just believe everything was fine, that love exists, that they could love and be loved… just for no reason.

I get it. I totally get it.

The standard line is that the Red Pill is the truth and the Blue Pill is the illusion. But it’s more like the Red Pill is muscle and the Blue Pill is fat.

To be sure, you want more muscle than fat on your body, but if you cut the body fat down low enough… eventually you keel over and die. You simply can’t be 0% body fat. Nor can you be 0% Blue Pill without being a rather paranoid and dysfunctional person. It’s simply not possible to sustain an endless state of assumed telepathy assuming your partner or opposite sex is out to get you.

If you see all women as gold-digging-cuckolding-false-rape-raptors, you can’t have a successful relationship with one. It’s no different than a dyed in the wool all-men-are-rapists-and-beat-women-as-a-default-setting feminist can’t have a relationship with a man. You eventually assume the worst and tear the relationship apart from the inside.

By all means pay excellent attention to building your muscle and getting your life in great shape, but at some point, you just have to say fuck it… and trust that your partner isn’t out to sneak some on the side as soon as you stumble for a moment. Obviously choosing a partner well is part of that decision matrix and having them on board with positive relationship standards matters too. But at some point you have to trust.

Jennifer and I do love each other very much… but it’s not a 100% perfect 24/7 experience. If we started fixating on the minor points of bad mood or inattention and assuming evil intent, we’d slowly tear each other apart. I’ve seen that effect play out with people snooping on their spouses over and over. I do advise at times getting your hands dirty and digging into their email and phone records to find out the truth, but I always say you should get in, get what you need and get out. Every time I see a spouse turn into a mini police state monitoring email… they slowly go insane reading and waiting for the slip up.

Do your due diligence, but at some point you have to trust.