The Best Revenge Is Living Well

Reader: I’m ashamed to admit that my ex and his wife were on national television recently, and they both looked pretty bad, and the fact that they looked bad made me really, really happy.

They were on a national news human interest feature.  I thought my ex’s wife (I call her my wife-in-law) looked awful.  She looked chubby and tired and puffy and she didn’t smile once. My ex looked grubby and sloppy and not attractive at all.

I have been trying to cultivate a general attitude of acceptance and contentment.  It bothers me a little bit that it made me really, really happy to see them both looking bad on national tv.

Athol:  Nah just enjoy it. Everyone loves to discover they were the winning ticket. The best revenge is living well. If you run your MAP you’ll end up looking great over the long term and leave them behind in your dust. It’s perfectly fine to use a little “fuck you” as motivation once in a while too. It seems better at getting that one last rep done with the heavy weights compared to thoughts of butterlies and inner peace.

I remember having one of those friend of a friend suggestions on Facebook a while back.  *Pop* and there’s a photo of ultra-crush-from-way-back staring at me on the computer. She hasn’t aged well. I’m not saying she needs a paper bag over her head or anything like that, I’m just saying @Jen_Kay uses the stair climber machines at the gym. That’s all I’m saying.

It’s a really good feeling. LMAO it’s sooooo good.

 

Fixing Flat Tires and Relationship Game

It’s 2013 and women no longer need to be frankly insulted by offers of being rescued from anything by men. Like a fish needs a bicycle and all that.  I-don’t-really-need-a-man-for-anything-when-I-have-my-vibrator-my-chocolate-and-all-these-adorable-cats. So I exaggerate a little, but in truth, many women actually find white knights a tad creepy

Hmmmm…

But can she get the lug-nuts off a flat tire?

Well to be honest, some women can and it’s no issue to them at all to change a tire. But there is a pure strength element to it and some women just can’t. Which then forces them to call someone else who can. That boils down to…

(1)  You.

(2)  AAA or some other car service outfit.

(3) That other guy that wants to fuck her.

Those answers are ranked in the order of your best interest. If your woman has to be saved, you should be the guy doing it. You don’t want to frame some other guy as the rescue hero for her. You should consider that if you can’t fix her problem, and she has to call some other guy in, you’ve green lit setting her up on a first date experience where he’s going to game the hell out of her.

Bad things may follow after that.

So anyway… if you don’t know how to change a tire… watch the video and at least spend 15 minutes of your time having a practice run through changing a tire before you need to put the skills to use.

Also in worst case scenario where she has both a flat tire AND a flat spare… usually the spare isn’t punctured, just very low on air. So just toss it in your car and fill it at any gas station with an air compressor. (Always have a couple bucks in quarters in your car.)    Or at the very least, park her car somewhere safe and drive away with one of the flats in your car.

And remember to act like it’s no big deal. Climbing the highest tower, slaying the dragon, not much to tell really. Just the Princess Fiona Plan on a  normal Tuesday. Quid pro quo and all that.

Also…. if you’re a girl and you want to Game a certain guy into rescuing you and all the wonderful isolation and one on one time that entails (not to mention the social obligation you can impose on yourself to invite him over to your place for a nice dinner, wine and a remarkably improved likelihood of coitus), you just park at the side of the road and call him up and say you have a flat tire. Sound mildly frustrated, but not too much. If he says he’ll come, coo to him with praise and gratitude. Then get out of the car, unscrew the little black cap off the tire valve and using your car keys, depress the little pin in the center of the value and let the air out of the tire until it looks properly flat. Then await rescue…

 Pick a day he’s not working of course. If he’s into you, he’ll come.

 

Married Game and Diminishing Returns

LongTimeReader: Do diminishing returns set in? Because after all, you’re supposed to be “mixing it up”: So just being fit and staying fit, while a necessary, will over time lose some of its previous attraction as it becomes the “new normal”.

Athol:  Adaptation is a problem. I’ve worked with some rather severely limited patients in the 25-40 IQ range and they all learn routines and get used to them quickly. I also have a cat that seems to have learned to meow loudly at 615am on week days for treats, and at 930am on weekends. So just imagine how quickly regular adults learn routines.

The good news is that things like fitness are structural in nature. They are “always on” and will always have a net positive effect. Having a good job/income is always a net positive too. There’s nothing you can do for them other than keep them up to speed.

What you can change… and should change up once in a while… is the other stuff. Don’t have sex in the same position every night. Don’t go to the same restaurant every night. Don’t vacation in the same place every year. Don’t bring home the same flowers every time. Don’t have one favorite shirt.

Variety is the spice of wife.

If you’re working out in the gym, doing the same thing over and over and over does result in diminishing returns. But switching your exercise to something new gets you results. Then later you can head back and do the first thing again. The idea is that you confuse your muscles and avoid them adapting to your exercise. So there is sort of an emotional equivalent of muscle confusion that gets you emotional gains in your relationship too.

Things like your job, fitness, health, house etc, are all structural in nature and yeah some of it is boring as hell to do, but you gotta. This is the “chicken” part of “everything tastes like chicken”.

But the things like playful teasing, surprises, Sexy Moves yada yada yada, are all temporary in nature and are like different spices. Those you should mix up once in a while, because you can and it’s more interesting that way. You can serve chicken a hundred different ways and it’s better for it. Just mix it up (Chicken Monkey Duck)

Though you can’t spice up a rotting chicken so it’s tasty.

Brazilian Waxing Jennifer

So we tried the whole Brazilian Waxing thing on Jennifer a while back. Except being a penny pincher, she bought a bunch of wax strips and I got to do the honors of yanking all her hairs out.

So warm the wax strips between my hands a little, unpeel one and lay it across her and gently press it into her hair.

Athol: Ready?

Jennifer: [Eyes shut]  Yes…

BBBBBBBBBrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiippppppp!!!!!!!!!

Based on the time delay between me pulling the first wax strip off, and her red faced cursing, it takes exactly 0.137 seconds for the sensation of pain to travel from her vayjay area to her brain.

The first strip did take a rather decent amount of hair off her, but like a parachute jump, once started you kinda have to continue with the plan…

Athol: Continue?

Jennifer: Ugh…. yes…

BBBBBbbbbbrrrrriiiiippppp!!

Bbbbbrrrrrriippppp!!!

Brip! Brip! Brip!

Athol: You okay?

Jennifer: Fuck you.

Athol: I can stop.

Jennifer: How much left?

Athol: About two-thirds of the way through.

Jennifer: Ugh…. Just finish it.

Briiiippppp!

Brippp.

Brippppp!

Brip. Brip. Brip. Brip. Brip. Brip. Brip. Brip. Brip.

Brip? Brip.

Jennifer: Please tell me we’re done.

Athol: We’re done.

Brip.

Jennifer:

Anyway, suffice to say nothing else involving Jennifer and her magic triangle happened for the rest of the evening.

And….

…well…

…ahh…

…as it turns out, apparently I much prefer how she looks with hair than without.

Beta Orbiting Peek-A-Boo-Boo

With babies, playing peek-a-boo is a classic game. It both delights them and teaches them an important cognitive skill. Just because you can’t see something, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

Mommy is there and then mommy is gone… and peek-a-boo! Mommy is right back! Yay! And mommy is gone again… peek-a-boo! OMG she’s back! Wow. And she’s gone again… peek-a-boo! Oh this is hysterical, mommy you’re a wizardly genius! Dinner and a show.

Once the kids get mobile, the game gets a little more serious. Because mommy can completely disappear from one room, and be in another room. Which is fine for a minute or two, because there’s just something about this squeaky toy hammer that enthralls me. It causes no injury whatsoever, but my brother Thomas seems enraged by it hitting him. Why is that?

And…

OMG it’s been a full three minutes. Where’s mommy? Something terrible must have happened to her. She’s not in the kitchen. She’s not in the bedroom. Shit. Mommy…. She’s not in the bathroom either… oh! Oh! There’s mommy! She’s in the laundry. Hi mommy. Watcha doin’? Hi. What’s all this stuff? Can I help? Hi. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Oh mommy your kisses are magical! Anyway, there’s something in my pants I need you to attend to.

So….

Fast forward say thirty odd years….

OMG it’s been a full three minutes. Where’s wifey? Something terrible must have happened to her. She’s not in the kitchen. She’s not in the bedroom. Shit. Wifey…. She’s not in the bathroom either… oh! Oh! There’s wifey! She’s in the laundry. Hi wifey. Watcha doin’? Hi. What’s all this stuff? Can I help? Hi. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Oh wifey your kisses are magical! Anyway, there’s something in my pants I need you to attend to.

So stop it. Stop chasing your wife through the house like a toddler. She’ll be right back. Just because you can’t see her, doesn’t mean she doesn’t exist.

STOP IT. JUST DON’T DO IT.

Sure if you hear some sort of cascading crash and her anguished cries for help… go check on that. Likewise if more than half an hour has elapsed… it’s fine to lay eyes on her. Just don’t chase her through the house.

This is how your wife experiences endlessly seeking her out…

Also…

You are not goddamn Barney the Dinosaur. Not every single incidental passing in the hallway needs to involve cuddly-wuddly hug, kisses and gushing demands of verbal commitment.

STOP IT. JUST DON’T DO IT. IT MAKES HER VAGINA SEAL ITSELF SHUT.

If you’ve been running about your house like Virginity Pledge Care Bear and need a good rule of thumb for displays of affection to get yourself under better control, use the ye olde Roissy Golden Ratio approach. For every three instances of her initiating the display of affection, you should initiate two times.

Ideally your two times should involve things like kissing the back of her neck, lightly dry humping her ass, deep kisses where you lightly touch her face or gently pull her hair.

Anyway…

Ugh…

I need a palate cleanser.

Life After The MAP?

I was asked what happens after you run the MAP and all is basically well between the couple. Can you ever go back to relaxing and being Blue Pill?

 

Athol:  I think a subtle misunderstanding you have is that Blue Pill = soft/love  and Red Pill = hard/harsh

It’s more Blue Pill = unconscious relating    and Red Pill = conscious relating.

You can be 100% Blue Pill and do everything right… it’s just that you’re doing it unwittingly. What tends to happen in relationships though is we just start letting it slide and become more and more Betaized. At some point we go off the rails and wind up in a bad place looking for answers.

Part of what makes MMSL/Game work is that once you explain a concept, most people go, “Oh yeah, I already knew that.”  You’re bringing unconscious wisdom of the Body Agenda into the realm of the Neo-Cortex. You already know what the Body Agenda knows, you just don’t know it consciously, because consciousness is up in the lair of the hamster… the Neo-Cortex.

The MAP is really about increasing your energy level, because high energy levels are attractive. Sex Rank = Energy. This is why people experience positive growth in all sorts of other unexpected ways when they run the MAP. People try and fix their sex life, but get promoted at work because they ran the MAP. They lose weight, dress better, things happen they had no expectation of. Stuff like that happens so often I’ve just come to expect some random +1 somewhere else in people’s lives.

It’s also why some relationships fail because of the MAP. One half of the couple becomes stronger, hotter and has a higher energy frequency, while the other is determined to stay depressive, unchanged, angry, bitter and low energy frequency. At some point it’s like someone reversed the polarity on the relationship magnets and instead of being pulled together, they are pushed apart. The MAP tends to bring relationships to a resolution point. Usually it’s a happier relationship, but not always. That’s being said, some of the successes I’m most proud of are where someone finally said enough was enough and they moved on.

In a sense, what I’m talking about is taking the knowledge of science, everything that we know about human nature and asking the question, “How then do we live?” which is essentially a typically religious question. MMSL is my answer. In terms of “what now”, I think the answer is more than just “keep the MAP ticking over”, though that is part of it. It’s also about living a life of meaning and significance and not so much lifting up those around you, but showing them how they can climb up for themselves too. It’s about being someone who exerts a positive energy into the world.

Coffee and Croissant with Miss Communication

One of my favorite Star Trek scenes.

Picard and Beverley Crusher get captured and have devices attached to their brain stems by their captors. They eventually escape but there’s an interesting side effect in that the devices create a telepathic link between them. Most of the episode is devoted to the interplay between the two of them who already have a deep relationship  together, but are still miscommunicating because they like each other. They still have some strong defensive walls up to save face with others, despite being invested enough to meet for breakfast every morning. The private breakfast being an important part of their routine together and Beverley puts some effort into being creative with the food to please her Captain.

Riker is of course the actual First Officer of the Enterprise, but there’s no question that Beverley Crusher is the wife-like emotionally intimate “First Officer” to Picard.

(EDIT:  I’m fighting the YouTube.  Link to the video is here.)

There’s always the danger of miscommunication in marriage, leading to both of you being unhappy trying to please the other.

Just say what the hell you want. Stop being so damn polite.

Anyway…

What’s your coffee and croissant moment?

 

Sexual Spanking Goes Mainstream

Okay you gotta watch the video first.

For those that don’t follow The Big Bang Theory, Amy and Sheldon are girlfriend/boyfriend, with Amy vastly more interested in Sheldon than the other way around.

In this episode Sheldon has deigned to give Amy a little extra attention when she’s been sick, so her illness has taken rather longer than expected to improve…

My first thought is even though it’s a comedy, it’s been quite sometime since I can remember a male-spanks-female scene on TV. I remember some I Love Lucy episodes where that happened. Maybe some have happened since then, but it’s quite remarkable that one of the main networks aired it.

What you’re looking at is the Fifty Shades of Grey effect. Those books have sold so incredibly well, that male-dominates-female-and-its-hot is now getting targeted as a market that will turn a profit. Twilight kinda sorta influenced it, but Fifty Shades of Grey has pushed male sexual dominance into the mainstream. There will be a lot more of this coming in the near future I can assure you.

Feminists are going to cry, but the Amy’s of the world won’t listen. The happy moist vagina being preferable to a sad dry one.

Anyway…

Let’s talk about erotic spanking and discipline spanking.

Erotic spankings are done for the sexual/emotional turn on. It’s an intense experience and that intensity can easily transfer into erotic potential. It may make no logical sense to the woman why being spanked turns her on, but for many (not all), “I don’t know, it just does”.

As an aside, I can explain why it does work, but it’s a lot like finding out how hotdogs are made. Once you find out, you generally no longer want to eat a hotdog, and are a little mad at the person that explained it all to you. Ignorance is bliss, I mean you don’t really want to find out that spanking is so tasty because it’s packed with the sexual equivalent of pig snouts. Just eat your hotdog.

Discipline spankings are tied to negative behavior. The spankee does something wrong, bad, half-ass and the spanker dishes out a punishment to correct the behavior. Or put another way, it’s exactly the same logic as a parent would discipline a child by spanking.

My feeling is that women are only going to consent to any spanking, if they like/want it. Otherwise it’s just some guy hitting you, which they really don’t want. This means essentially all spankings default to being erotic spankings… even if they are done ostensibly as discipline spankings. As you can see in the case of Sheldon and Amy, any hope of Amy behaving better in the future is going to backfire. She likes the spanking. So she’ll keep being bad to get what she wants.

So my advice if you want to actually use discipline spanking, is to tie it to good behavior on the part of the spankee. It’s a reward, so they’ll work for it. If they fail to reach whatever the positive behavior goal is, they lose the special attention from their lover that they crave… a much worse negative than a sore bottom.

If you want to skip some of the mind games and just have an erotic spanking, cool. Just ask for it, or allow it to happen as basic kink / foreplay / lovemaking. It’s not wildly different to hairpulling or whatever. It’s simply an intense stimulation between consenting adults.

The way spanking really works to turn women on, is by tapping into the true physical power differential between a man and a woman. In a straight up physical fight between a man and a woman, the man will always have a major advantage. For example I’m a foot taller than Jennifer, out weigh her by about 80 pounds, have a longer reach and pound for pound am significantly stronger than her. I always have a constantly rolling dominance effect, simply by my size and strength. Quite obviously I don’t hit / shove / pinch / bite / punch / kick her in daily life, because she would call 911 on me and that would be that. But things like hairpulling, neck holding and spanking during sex tap into the erotic potential from my physical dominance.

It’s not something either of us expected we would ever do in bed when we married, but in moderate amounts it works for us. Erotic physical dominance is in essence, sexual playfighting.

And because people will ask… Jennifer and I don’t do discipline spankings. We had spanked the girls once in a while when they were little, but generally found rewarding good behavior and reducing attention to negative behavior got faster and better results.

All that being said, I do know people who practise discipline spanking for negative behavior and they say it works out really well for them. I do understand why and how it works, but there are some rather dark impulses at work here. There’s no assurance that once tried it’s going to be a good experience, or one that’s easily forgotten. I would urge extreme caution and communication before discipline spanking for negative behavior. Or at the very least, trying erotic spanking for a while and see how far that gets you first.

 

Girl Game: Lapdance For Him (Get Into The Groove)

A forum member wants to learn how to give her husband a lapdance…

Mrsozzy:  I need to learn this stuff.  I’ve looked around and have a few ideas.  But does anyone have any kickass tips on how to lapdance?  Non-cheesy musical suggestions are especially appreciated.

Athol: It’s easy…

(1) Flick your hair.

(2) Pretend you’re in the shower soaping yourself up. This a move you can come back to over and over.

(3) Make “hungry like a lioness” eye contact.

(4) Bend down low so your boobs dangle in front of him.

(5) Turn around and walk away. Look back. Spank your ass.

(6) Act like you’ve just discovered you have boobs.

(7) Rub yourself a little through your panties. Smile.

(8) Tell him you’re an English Lit major.

Music…

Or…

PHILIP?! HEY MAN WHAT’S HAPPNIN’ PHIL?!   (Name the movie it was in.)

Okay so that was tacky…

Somehow I suspect this song is the ticket though…

(9)  Grab his cock through his pants.

(10)  Make him hold your panties.

 

Afterwards you ask him if he wants to get into your… groove.

Sexy Move: Won’t Know Until You Try

From the forum…

Deciduous:  This morning we were involved in husband and wife activities…

At the beginning, she played a little game she has done in the past a few times.

“What if I don’t let you?”

In the past, I usually shrugged that off, but not in a dominant way, usually in a playful manner, and it has never resulted in no happyfuntime.

I would usually say something along the lines of “I have never had an unsatisfied customer” or “I prefer willing participants”.

This time I said, in a rather growly way whilst burying her head in my quite well developed pecs…

“Then I’m just gonna take what I want”

At this point, I almost couldn’t believe that came out of my mouth. I didn’t stop, but my mind was racing…wow, did I just do that?

Her response FLOORED me.

“I think I would like that. A LOT”

Holy crap. This manosphere stuff isn’t 50% bullshit after all.

Maybe only 25%.

The fact that she wants the OLD me, the guy that had her as #2 in a soft harem 13 years ago, rather than the guy I figured made more sense with 2 young kids…

Good lord.

Athol:  As long as you have all the basic structural attraction pieces in place – a job, basic health, reasonable fitness, no critical emotional incidents screwing everything up… sometimes all that’s left to do is make a dominant move.

If you try it and she says “no”, well you weren’t going to get laid anyway.

If you try it and she says “yes”, or at least doesn’t say “no” and makes some kind of vaguely positive response… then you go for it.

Takes a couple minutes to see how it works. If you’ve been doing everything else and getting minimal sexual response from her, you may as well try something new.

You won’t know until you try.